Sex or lack of it?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15882
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 4:42am
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Topic: Sex or lack of it?
Posted By: tropics
Subject: Sex or lack of it?
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 3:59pm
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Hi ladies
Just wondering if there are anyone else out there that there DHs really arent interested in sex during pregnancy? I cant say it really bothers me as neither am I but ever since the scan DH is a bit freaked out about having sex with a baby growing inside of me! I dont think he thinks that it will hurt the baby but I think the whole idea just freaks him out that there is something growing right there inside of me! probably didnt help that in one of my baby books it had a cross section of a womb, baby and penis which looked rather close to the head lol!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">    [/url]
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Replies:
Posted By: KABJ99
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 4:42pm
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Hi Kye
My husbands a medical professional and during my first trimester once we found out I was pregnant at just over 4 weeks he refused to have sex with me because he didn't want to risk it - this is extremely unusal for him as he gets grumpy if its normally more than a week without. Instead I was the one who was grumpy with him!! Now that I'm in my second trimester(17 weeks)the story has changed and he's back to his usual self. We are careful but he's now lucky to get any as I'm now not really interested at all ha ha |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 4:45pm
| KABJ99- risk what?? |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 5:09pm
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We havent had sex since I was 10 weeks! It stings like a mother! Dunno why...so that really suckes.
But I feel very weird doing anything with him at the moment cos of my belly, I just dont feel sexy..so I cant get into anything.. Also DF is a bit afraid of hurting the baby lol ------------- |
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 5:13pm
lol, i lost interest but hubby definatly didnt, poor guy. i must say though over the last 3(ish) weeks mine has come back worse than ever!!    but now im having trouble getting comfy and not needing to pee while having those special cuddles
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Posted By: grrrgrrrr
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 5:33pm
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MM I have been lucky and not had any problems with my hubby other than that I don't feel the least bit sexy.
I think that its because moving around is more of a hassle now and I feel very heavy.  ------------- Mattias 2yo Henrik almost 1 |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 7:18pm
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Hmmm..my first husband wouldnt go there...he just felt odd plus we didnt have the best sex life in the world anyway.....
Hubby now is great...usually keen as a bean and leaves it mostly up to me..HE ADORES pregnant Woman so kind of makes me not get that "I dont feel sexy thing" like the first time.......I have found with both the last pregnancies I am not into it during the first trimester...but keen second trimester and do try third but gets bit awkward and uncomfy!!!  -------------  
 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 7:49pm
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We had a pretty good sex life for most of my pregnancy but my DH refused sex with me in the last month of my pregnancy. Partly because he was worried about the baby as I was carrying low, partly I think becuase I was so big so it wasn't entirely easy to find a comfortable position and also partly because he read a pregnancy book targetted at dads to be that suggested that this is the only time they get to feign a headache or just downright refuse sex and it's their chance to 'get their own back' so to speak. -------------  
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 8:13pm
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Well we have been ok with our boy's, but this time everytime we have special cuddles I get cramp's after that last few hour's oh and DH has not fould it all the comfy this time. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: KABJ99
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 9:18am
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Hi Kellz
If your classed as a high risk pregnancy or have bleeding it is recommended that you don't have sex due to the increased miscarriage risks. While I didn't have any bleeding and am not technically classed as a high risk pregnancy, I had some medical problems in my early 20's which ment my chances of naturally concieving were very low (and it is not reccomended for me to use fertility drugs). It took that long for us to get pregnant (we were about to give up for good)that DH didn't want to take any chances. Once I was past the magic "safe date" so to speak and all of my tests and scans have come back normal then he is happy to go back to normal. I think because he has done a lot of medical training and study, and usually only sees those people who have problems he is well aware of the problems that can occur and is probably a bit paranoid. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 11:20am
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LOL MrsMojo bout men getting their own back!
DH was quite happy with sex but I was not really interested in the first trimester - too freaked about doing damage to the baby. Now we're in the second trimester (one day till 3rd trimester!), it's back to normal. I think DH felt a bit reluctant to initiate sex cos I've been feeling pretty crap. It's getting a bit weird now the baby's moving around - everything seems pretty close down there! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 12:30pm
I had this at about 20weeks or so and m/w told me i wasn't allowed sex unless it was with a glove as the semen was reacting with me. It was agony. But she didn't want me to go into premature labour. Come 38 weeks, we did it to try get the baby out! just contractions, no labour tho. lol. always been bad, and no worse i guess once i got preggy, kinda halted first time round tho as i was so sore and uncomfy. but he doesnt have big sex drive and nor did i. This time however, he not interested, and altho sometimes i wish he would be, i relaly can't stand the thought of him touching me. is that odd? Our sex life has b -------------   
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ButterflyMum wrote:Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 3:58pm
My partner refused sex with me throughout the pregnancy making up excuses like he had a headache or a sore back until I cracked one day and made him tell me what was going on... thinking it was an affair or something and he said that he was worried the baby could hear it Not believing him at first I carried on at him and he was genuinely concerned and freaked out about doing it with a baby there. So we never did it from about 6months preg until exactly 6 weeks after birth because he was counting Then all of a sudden I couldnt keep him away again so I guess every guy is different. I dont think that being preg repulsed him because he always rubbed my baby bump and told me how beautiful I was preg I think he was just weirded out lol. ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 5:14pm
| Haha my hubby helped induce my labour at 40w3d! He didn't care at all (except for when the baby kicked, that was weird!) |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 8:06pm
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I so desperately wanted the help with inducing as I went almost two weeks over but no such luck with DH ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow"> Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 04 April 2008 at 12:26pm
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I saw a study recently where it tracked men's testosterone levls during their partner's pregnancy, and it found that testosterone dropped as the pregnancy progressed! My poor DH now gets lots of hassling about his falling testosterone. So guys do have a physiological excuse in addition to the gheadache and "I don't want to hurt you" excuses! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 04 April 2008 at 2:00pm
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emz, my friend said that happened with her and her df with her first kid. apparently it really hurt him too -------------
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Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 07 April 2008 at 11:08pm
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Mine didnt want sex either in our first pregnancy most of the way through - it also took him a while to get the images of me delivering the baby out of his head before he wanted to have sex again...it was a slow process back to normality.
This time he wants it all the time however it is just too painful for me now as the twins are putting so much more pressure on my pelvic muscles etc. Hope not TMI! I guess its normal to have different ideas about sex during a pregnancy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:56am
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lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> [/url]
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:23am
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My husband was the same but only after he saw my belly huge and he was afraid that the baby would see it!! LOL
But KABJ99 is right first trimester has risks. We got it on and I started bleeding at 8 weeks, then 10 weeks and then again at 18 weeks even tho Doctors adviced us to stay away from sex after the 8 week bleed. Not sure if sex was the reason for bleed but I will not repeat the same this pregnancy. I will wait till 2nd Trimester. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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