What made you decide to TTC...
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15845
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Topic: What made you decide to TTC...
Posted By: minik8e
Subject: What made you decide to TTC...
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 2:59pm
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Ok, I just have a question for those of you TTC, especially if you have endo.
How did you decide when to TTC? I'm asking because we are a little worried about possible fertility issues with endo, and possible recurrent m/c. Did you make the decision to TTC early on the basis that it may take a while to get pg, or, for those who this is relevant to, that you may have recurrent m/c? Or did you just decide you were ready and know that it may take a while, and possibly not happen at all? We are thinking of TTC end of this year, start of next year, DP would like at least one child before he turns 30 (Nov 09). However, I have endo and all of my previous pregnancies (x4 over the space of 10 years) have ended in m/c at between 6-10 weeks. I hope what I'm asking comes out right, it's so hard to put it into words!! |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 3:48pm
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The fact that I was told as I get older it will be harder for me to get pregnant and that once I hit 30 i'm going to have the baby oven bits removed so no chance after they've gone to have children. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 3:55pm
| I was told I would find it hard (no endo at that stage but starting to develop more now, have PCOS and prostratic glandular uterus) so we decided to TTC as soon as we got married (did before, but then stopped as I didn't want to be pg when we got married). So yep, time was a factor as I've always wanted to be a youngish mum (well at least younger than 30 to achieve what I want to achieve with kids and family) so we had o get our A's into G! |
Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 3:59pm
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I am very overweight and thought I'd have trouble trying to conceive so this made me want to start trying early. It never happened though because DP didn't feel ready. As soon as he felt ready we started - 12 years down the track!
If he had've been like your DP and wanted kids straight away we would've gone for it. When there are fertility issues and a higher risk of miscarriage I think I would've definitely started trying as soon as we could. As it was we got pregnant the 2nd month but we were very lucky there. -------------  
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 4:11pm
| It's very very scary, not knowing. The doctor did tell me to have my children now, rather than later, as I will probably have to get my bits removed. But then, what if it doesn't happen....arrgh, what a process. DP is in two minds....ideally he would like to be married first, but he is also worried about the time factor (and me even more so, because it would be at least 2 years before we got married)...oh I dunno, so confusing, too many what if's. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 6:47pm
| One of my friends has extremely nasty endo that just seems to go totally nuts. She's single and 28 (almost) and has been told by her doc that her time is running out that her bits need to be removed in the next couple of years. She so wants to be a mum but it's a bit hard when she is single. |
Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 8:20pm
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I have PCOS and have known since I was 16 that I'd have trouble concieving, been a year TTC so far, and that's with meds and being monitored.
DP & I had been together for just over 4 mths when we decided we wanted to start trying, knowing that it could take a long time... I was 22 then and he was 27. We didn't just jump into it not knowing each other... he chased me for 4 years lol, how's that for playing hard to get 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 8:26pm
LOL wishin - we've known each other around 8 years, and flirted around with the idea for a few years before we actually got together...been 7 months now, and bought a house together 6 weeks ago. So I'm not worried about not knowing each other. He is the best, I love him to bits, and I know he does me as well  I also know he worries as well, we have discussed it, especially as we both dearly want children.
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 8:31pm
I don't have endo or PCOS or anything physically wrong (fingers crossed, touch wood!  ) but I DO have a case of Terminal Independance lol  Am slowly treating it with the help of a very patient DP and our new foster child (who we are probably going to adopt). Whilst we would both like to add to our family, we are ttc now (and have been for about 4 months prior to my m/c earlier his month) mainly because I am old and crusty haha (34). So better get a crack on.  I don't think any time is ever the perfect time to ttc, you just have to make a decision adn I would personally make it knowing that it may well take longer than you anticipated,esp if you have known fertility issues. It's a hard call but I haven't heard of anyone regretting having their baby when they did! -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 8:42pm
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minik8e - Yup we are the same, both really want children/family. So in our eyes we just couldn't see why DP & I should hold off a decision that felt 'right' now.
Only 2 of my friends, one of my brothers and my mum know we have been trying, I didn't want the questioning from people everytime we bumped into them... 'oh, still not pregnant?!' kinda thing. DP chose not to tell any of his family/friends as they are quite old school in thinking you SHOULD be married first etc. |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 9:05pm
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Well to be honest I am trying for a little boy to complete the family. Im studying to be a chartered accountant so I figure get the baby thing over now then once they r at school I can get into my career and wont need to stop to have more children. Plus I wanted a close age gap AND to have children while I am young (20) and DH wanted kids before he was 30 which is this year ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 10:20pm
| Yeah my thing was, as you put it so well NeoshasMummy, 'get the baby thing over now' haha. I don't want to start teaching (graduated when I was 38 weeks pg) and then have to stop, I think its better for us anyway to struggle on one income than to get used to 2 and then drop. I was told by my doc to have all babies by my mid to late twenties as I may have my bits removed too. And plus I like the fact that sometimes your woman problems can get better, not worse, after having kids. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 9:07am
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Hrmm, well we are discussing coming off the pill now, and not actively trying, but seeing what happens. Haven't made a firm decision yet, but fingers crossed. If we do it that way, and nothing has happened by the end of the year then I may begin charting and if nothing within 6 months after that, off to the doc we will go.....
Now just to make the firm decision!! |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 9:46am
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We STILL cant make the decision and we have been talking about it for over 2 years on and off!
Lol, you know what Im like so I am NO advice! 
All I'll say is please dont be like me and do actually make a decision and stick to it soon! haha. 
So excited for you though chick, sounds like things in your life are going so great YAH
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 10:12am
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Hey Dal, yeah you could say that
I think that it's true - if you have any doubts, then don't do it. I don't, and DP says he doesn't....so yeah! |
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 10:51am
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We didn't try for Ashlee and I don't have Endo/PCOS, but it's a really hard decision to try and make, this whole TTC thing. In our case, it's when do we decide to TTC #2. It depends on so many factors, too many to list! You've just got to weigh up the pros and cons that are specific to your situation and what your priorities are in life.
We chopped and changed our minds with #2, not knowing if we wanted a small or larger age gap between our 2, pros and cons for each, and me being undecided and feeling unhappy with what I'm doing (or not doing) work-wise. Originally we were going to TTC end of this year, but I've been feeling like it's not really 100% what I want to do, so we've decided to wait it out until I've done the things that I want to do. In saying that, I'm young enough to do so with no apparent health factors. This hasn't given you any advice, sorry! But I just wanted to let you know that I can see where you're coming from and it's not a decision that's taken lightly. All the best!
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 11:01am
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I originally planned to start TTC in my mid-late 20's once I'd finished uni and had a bit of time to work, I say "I" coz Willie has kids from a previous relationship so he wasn't as invested in it as me. Of course, along came Maya at 21 so that changed everything!
Having had her so young I decided I wanted to be done with pregnancy/babies by the time I'm 30 as I don't want to spend my whole life with little babies, and I want to have a chance to work on my career once the kids are older. As it's worked out I've gotten to have babies and a career but I've been very lucky. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 11:10am
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It's quite funny, because I'm not at all concerned about my career. My employer has a fantastic parental leave scheme, and pride themselves on their family friendly conditions. I know that I will be welcomed back with open arms, and it won't hurt my career by taking parental leave because they truly value their staff and reward loyalty. Gosh that sounds OTT LOL
We are only planning on having 2, possibly 3, children with around 2 years between them, so yeah. Who knows whether that will happen however! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:28pm
| Just to bump this thread up for more possible opinions, and also to ask another question.....those of you who did decide to TTC, how long did it take for you to get your BFP, and was it sooner or later than you expected? |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:40pm
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Hehe - I have said this in the few threads lately - cos I have one of the lucky stories!
DH and I decided that we would start trying in January last year, we discussed it and thought it would take a while to happen. So I stopped the pill and got pregnant that first month! It was very exicitng and we were sure it would take longer... So take heart that for some people it is easy! (a few October 07 mums would agree I am sure!) and we are starting our journey again - I stopped taking the pill 2 weeks ago... ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: josephnia
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 3:15pm
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I never woke up one morning thinking that I suddenly wanted to have kids, it was always a possibility and DH and I had discussed it several times over the years but we had gotten so used to our 'selfish' lifestyle that it was put on the backburner. I think the deciding factor was my mum saying that it would be such a shame if we decided we actually did want kids but had left it too late. And mum and i have a great relationship and the thought of me growing old without having the same thing was something that I didn't want to live without. My age was a factor as well, I'm 32 and although not over the hill I thought now was the right time especially as we want more than one.
Like Bel we were exceptionally lucky and it took only one month (actually, only one time!) for our BFP. I was expecting it to take a lot longer and at the time it all seemed to be happening too quickly and though I was stoked it was also very scary as I felt like we'd rushed into things. I'm so looking forward to having our little one now though
-------------  
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 4:13pm
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We are (maybe) about to TTC. DH thinks it will happen straight away. I'm not so sure. I have had cervical issues, am over 30 and slightly overweight...
BUT - I think you have to plan like it 'will' happen, rather than 'mess around' thinking it won't. I'll let you know in a month or so if we're one of the lucky ones! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 4:29pm
| That's similar to us surfergirl - after the last two absolutely disgusting periods (think in tears because of pain and beware if you even remotely stepped in my path) this issue has come up again (at the doctor's suggestion)....we're just working on the 'what if it happens straight away" possibilities. I think everything else has been worked out. It's just whether we would be prepared enough if it happened straight away. I'm not over 30, but am slightly overweight, and had cervical issues plus endo, plus of course previous miscarriages. |
Posted By: scarecrowfarm
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 10:04pm
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I had no idea I had endo until after we started ttc our first baby. Realistically we made the decision to try when we were in a position to afford it. DH was studying prior to that, otherwise we'd have happily started earlier.
But yes, knowing that I had endo and that it took 18 months to conceive Lucy did affect our decision when it came to ttc number. We decided we'd start ttc as soon as AF returned. I expected we might need to see a specialist so we wanted to clock up the 12 months as early as possible. It still took longer than the 'average' couple but only 8 months and we did it on our own. And to be honest the timing was perfect in the end. I think the important thing as far as ttc is concerned, is whether you would be happy/upset if you got pregnant straight away. There is no guarantee that endo will cause infertility. I think someone here quoted that it affected fertility in about 20% of cases of endo. That's 80% of women with endo who have normal fertility. ------------- Robyn www.scarecrowfarm.co.nz |