Major change of plans :-(
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
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Topic: Major change of plans :-(
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Subject: Major change of plans :-(
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 8:34pm
We have stopped TTC #2! 
My Mum has been looking after Caitlin whilst I work and announced 2 days ago that she wanted to get a job and had an interview all lined up the next day!  
This is just a few weeks after we had asked her if she was ok to look after #2, which she was very happy to do! We had always agreed she would look after Caitlin until she went to pre-school at 2. So yesterday I spent the day phoning every single day care in West Auckland trying to find a place for Caitlin. Then spent 4 hours driving around the few which did have spaces to go check them out. Luckily, we found a fantastic one that is 2 mins away from DH's work and had a trial day today and have enrolled her to start next week. This evening my mother calls to tell me she's had a change of heart! *inserts lots of swear words* We've already paid a months worth of fees and Caitlin was so happy at the centre and will get so much out of being there that we have decided to keep her there.
The day care costs $220 a week which means that I'm going back to work full time to pay for it and our plan on having another baby has been put off for at least another year
Obviously, I'm absolutely heart broken as I was really looking forward to having another baby. But we need to do what is best for the baby we have, that is what is more important. Good luck to all those on your TTC journey and hopefully I'll be back in here this time next year or the year after *sigh* ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Replies:
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 8:42pm
 That sux!! It's great you found somewhere fantastic for Caitlin!-------------  My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 8:48pm
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------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 8:50pm
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Awwwww Toni thats no good. Does this mean that you'll be having the op soon then?? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 8:52pm
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That has got to be so frustrating for you!! Big hugs!
I'm sure Caitlin will love Day care though. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 9:09pm
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awww sorry to hear that - could you not keep trying tho in the meantime - you wouldnt have to stop work immed ... and once you gave up work then you could look after caitlin again too?
------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 9:35pm
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------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 9:43pm
I've been having acupuncture of the pain, had 2 sessions now and I've had the lightest AF I have ever had with no pain at all! Fingers crossed it lasts or we can manage the pains without having the op 
Deb - Day care costs us ALL of our budgetted savings which was what we were putting away for #2 for when I stop work. So no - can't risk getting pregnant now without a whopping big pay rise! 
I'm trying hard not to think about it and dwell on it. Every time I do I well up ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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mummy_becks wrote:Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:03pm
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Big hugs hon, this really sucks.
I'm sure Caitlin will love daycare though (I know Gina does) and hope that will make you feel a little better ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:03pm
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awww hun big big heading your way! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:07pm
awww toni that really does suck!!! but if you stop working and have caitlyn at home with you, won't that free up $220? and you maybe eligible for help from winz? i probably have it wrong, but just trying to help find a solution ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:08pm
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Poor you Toni, it must be so disappointing and frustrating!
Big from me too chick!------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:50pm
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Oh I'm sorry that really sucks. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:58pm
I wish it were that easy! Because DH owns his own business he pays himself the bare minimum, everything else has to go back into the company so I'm the main bread winner. If I stopped work for any more than a few months we'd be in real trouble financial wise!!! But good old WINZ still say we're too rich to get any assistance! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 11:00pm
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Awww that really sucks Toni
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 11:27pm
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[/QUOTE]But good old WINZ still say we're too rich to get any assistance! [/QUOTE]
it sucks that you get penilised (sp?) for owning your own business!!! sorry it didn't work out differently for you hun ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 8:11am
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Sorry to hear about your predicament dude Have faith that things will turn out for the best, even if it doesn't feel like that at all at the moment...life can surprise us with great news too....when we least expect it. Thinking of you *hug* -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 8:14am
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awww hun that relly does sux ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 5:52pm
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is there anything wrong with swallowing your pride (so to speak) and letting your mum have your kids? or do you think she may let you down again? if your pregnancy went well you could work right through and keep saving money?
have you looked into home based care? its half the price of a day care centre. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 5:55pm
oohh, thats a godd idea... see how the daycare goes then maybe look into and then you wouldnt have to do sposies either... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 6:08pm
whats sposies? is that disposables? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 6:20pm
Yup. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 February 2008 at 6:56pm
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yep what she said - sorry i just got too lazy to type it in full!! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: alexbabe
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:09am
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aww , i know this may sound cliche, but everything happens for a reason
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 12:21pm
I was about to say the same thing. Big hugs, I know it's hard to think of it this way but maybe it's the best thing for now and it doesn't mean you have to put off baby plans forever ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 7:20pm
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Thanks for your lovely comments, it really means a lot.
We did look into In home care - $300 a week minimum! We're only just able to pay the $220 a week at the Daycare. We've had a couple of trial days with me and DH staying with her and today was her first morning on her own and apparently she loved it! Got a bit grizzley when DH left but that was to be expected. We've been so lucky to get her a place at a really excellent centre. As for my Mum looking after #2. I don't want to think about it at the moment. I'm too angry and hurt. I just can't believe my parents only gave us 2 days to find a decent alternative and when we offered to pay Mum to look after Caitlin, she still said no!!! That's what makes me so angry! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:10pm
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Far out...i really find it hard to believe it to be 300 a week for homebased. Even most daycare centres have it capped at around 150-200 a week.
I don't know how many hours you require, but at the one i used here in hamilton is only $4per hour, so 50 hours is $200. And Barnados (which is availble in auck) is 4.50 per hour, so 50 hours is $225 And if your family income is under $1330 gross a week you my qualify for a subsidy...and i must say 1330 is a handsome income in todays general society.. (as an example that is $16.62 each per hour if both work 40hrs each) I recon you should look a bit harder for cheaper daycare if this is something that you really want. I know i would be. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 1:28pm
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Don't forget that the $1330 is FAMILY income and from memory they base that on before tax (which for us is a 3rd of our income). DH and I earn more than that but we are also paying Auckland house prices too.
$200-$240 is the norm for decent Daycares in our area. As for home base care in Auckland, all of the websites I was looking at were $10-$15 an hour. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 2:06pm
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I cannot reccomend Barnardos home care enough, and at $4.50 (per child, and discounted for more than one) an hour, it is a bargain as well. They havbe also changed all the income brackets HEAPS int he last 12 months, so it could be worth looking at it again... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 2:15pm
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I think in home care in YOUR home is quite expensive but in THEIR home is the cheaper option? I think... may be wrong lol!!! ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 2:32pm
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Yup, a nanny in your own home is more expensive, mine is $16 an hour, care in someone else's home is usually cheaper. I'm not sure how I'd feel about having someone else look after my kids in their home tho, especially if they had other kids as well ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 3:18pm
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We use Porse , and pay $7 an hour for care in her home, we interviewed and visited the house, and the house is inspected by Porse too. the Educator is a trained nanny but not all of them are. In Home Care (nanny) is about $14-18 an hour, but that may be more in Auckland than in Wellington. with Porse if you can find another family in the same situation you could share a nanny between you, we were told that would work out about $9 hour and they split time between your place and the other family's home
I have no problems with the carer, now we have changed but Porse can be a bit funny and don't communicate things as well as I would like. We just couldn't get any where near the top of the waiting list for decent daycare centres in the area which is why we went with Porse. Banardoes just said, sorry no one available, good luck, but that may be a local thing ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 6:15pm
If you reread my post, i did say FAMILY income, and GROSS. Its a pity this situation has happened for you. Good luck. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: aussiegirl
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 9:31pm
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Am glad to hear your daughter enjoyed her time at daycare by herself, and that its a great centre...They can be hard to find!
Good luck ------------- Mum to Hayley **30.6.08
http://lilypie.com"> 
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