Should I feel bad?
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13811
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Topic: Should I feel bad?
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Subject: Should I feel bad?
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:02am
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Im currently doing a beauty course, I started it in November and even though I love beauty and such Im just not enjoying this course at all! Ive done nail technology and finished it and passed and Ive done hair dressing and finished it and passed, so Im no slacker.
I have to drive an hour to get to where my course is and I guess Im just so sick of the driving, its really tiring. The other thing is that Ive been having back problems(which they know about) and have had time off over it(was meant to go back to course last Monday but went back yesterday) its so sore sometimes that I cant sleep at night, and the last thing I want to do is drive for an hour with having had no sleep, a sore back and being 5 months pregnant! Im not going into today cos last night I was up and down out of bed like a jack in the box and I got next to no sleep, so i dont feel like going in, but I feel bad about it, I always do when I dont go into work or course if Im sick or whatever, but, I shouldnt feel bad should I? The other thing is that we have to wear black and white, which I do when I go, but yesterday I wore my black swade boots and was told im not allowed to wear them cos they are "not the right fashion for beauty"!!! I wear them cos they are flat and comfy! Not for a fashion statment, I would ahve thought theyd be a little more understanding with all the problems Ive had since before christmas and seems as they kow Im pregnant! I was going to ask them if I could wear my maternity jeans and skirt but I know they wont let me if I cant even wear a nice pair of boots! Grrr, I somtimes feel like Im being silly, but other times i dont. I feel my health is more important that a beauty certificate... Sorry rant over, I just needed to get it off my chest! ------------- |
Replies:
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:23am
 Sheza. Sometimes being pregnant is just not fun.
As for the boots comment... geez... thats kinda odd.. ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:25am
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Thats what I thought! They are only shoes!
I guess my hormones are all up the shoot. I just wish i was back at my office job  I was busy and earning money. Now I just feel grumpy and poor lol------------- |
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:31am
i think you should wear what you feel comfy in
tell them if they dont like it to go stick it. well thats what i would do any way. ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:34am
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thats what I felt like saying but I dont have the guts lol. I did say to my tutor that I wore them cos I think they are comfy and that I didnt think it would be a problem as Ive seen other girls wear boots....?! Oh well...I have some other shoes I can wear, but Im not going out to buy anything specialy for course, cant afford it. ------------- |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:51am
| Tell them to get over it with the boots. I wore jandals to work in the last couple of months of pregnancy and that is to a corporate type job and no one gave a rats ass since I was pregnant. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:16am
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Yeah thats what I would have thought they would be like, who cares what Im wearing my feet as long as Im comfy! I dont see how its such a big deal. If I wore jandels they would probably send me home! Grr, Id LOVE to wear jandels as its so hot. ------------- |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 11:08am
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Sheza, you shouldn't feel bad - you need to be looking after yourself at the moment. I was the same, had quite a bit of time off work (and the boss made me feel even stinker about it)... but it's really important you don't work yourself too hard, and listen to your body when you need a rest. Definitely talk to the head person about it, sometimes you think people would know you're having a hard time of it but they don't necessarily pick that up. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 11:11am
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Yeah thats true, thanks guys!
I think Im just having overall a bad time latley, with having no money so having to move back home, then all the bills we had to pay off from the rental house, then my back playing up and having no sleep, and the heat which add's to the no sleep. I just feel down in the dumps and frustrated  Poor DF was worried about me this morning cos Im so emotional right now.------------- |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 1:08pm
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yay sounds good Jess! Shopping and Mc Donalds for lunch!! ------------- |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 4:23pm
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Aww that doesn't sound cricket to me. They need to make allowances for you, I mean it's only shoes for goodness sake!
I hope you get it resolved soon, I was the same as Stacey, I wore trackpants and jandals to work in my last few weeks!! And hey if you're that miserable, maybe who should stop the course for now? ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 4:47pm
I really want to, its just that Im getting the living costs of $150 a week and that pays my two loans So if I leave the course I'll stop getting that money and I wont be able to pay the bills, and DF cant pay for those aswell as our normal stuff.
I cant get the sickness benefit until im 27 weeks pregnant, but then Im sure if I'll qualify for that? Im stuck in a rut lol------------- |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 5:24pm
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You'll definitely qualify for the Sickness Benefit! Just get a med cert from your doctor. You might be entitled to accomodation as well? I'd do the research, sit down with your partner and weigh up the pros and cons. If this course is making you sick and not helping your back, well you might have to look after number one and number two. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 5:34pm
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Thanks Mel I will talk to my partner tonight, he knows the trouble Ive been having, he feels so sorry for me cos I cant sleep properly, he heated the wheat sack for me before he went to work this morning Im just worried about my back, if its playing up now then what will happen when I get bigger and bigger which is happening fast now and then theres labour Im a bit scared actually. I think the stress Ive been under with money doesnt help either, we dont even have enough money left this week to put petrol in my car so really, I cant get to course even if I wanted to
Gosh I feel like such a whinger! lol ------------- |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:47pm
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Man thats not good. I wore jandels and jeans in the last few weeks of my job before I had Josh. I would be going to the top and asking why and what they can do to help you. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:51pm
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Firstly, it's just a course so I can't see the big deal with wearing comfy. I wouldn't buy another pair of shoes if you're happy with what you've got - just another financial pressure that's not necessary. The fact is, you're pregnant, and it's not easy to look stylish and pregnant at the same time. It doesn't mean that you don't understand looking nice!!
Secondly, now seems like it would be as good a time as any to look into what you'll be living off when baby is born. What can you cut back on? It'll be no help to you if you stick out a course you're too exhausted for, simply for the sake of the money - especially because I don't think you're entitled to any benefit (only allowances/tax credits) after the baby is born? Certainly worth looking into -------------  |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 10:02pm
Yeah exactly, its just a course thats why I cant see why they are being such dicks about my shoes, when its my feet that are taking all the extra weight etc that Im carrying! I dont think its very fair. DF and I are pretty good on his wage, the only thing we find a bit of a struggle is me having to drive an hour to course and back, which takes up at least $100 a week, so if I didnt have to do that traveling we would have more money to put into our savings and Id only have to spend maybe $30 a week on pretrol. Its just my darn loans, the car is paid off in July so just after Caden is born(yay!) and that money is to my dad so Im pretty sure he will be good to me if I cant pay just after Caden is born. The other $71 is a bank loan so we will somehow manage that. After baby is born we will be able to get the WFF tax thingy and that other payment to new mums for 8 weeks. So my problem is what to do for the last 4 months of my pregnancy....I can go on the sickness benefit after 27 weeks due to my back problems but Im not sure how much they will give me... ------------- |
busymum wrote:Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 11:52pm
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Sheena, my job at my work is to help people who are in a bit of financial strife. Perhaps there are ways to make things easier? PM me if you want to discuss.
Hugs babe, you're sounding a bit down. Hope you fell all-over better soon. xx |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:58am
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Sheza, you shouldn't feel bad - you're going through a really tough time with lots of pressures so DON'T FEEL BAD!!!! Definitely go to the top of the course.
Can you talk to your MW about your back - I don't know what's going on with it but maybe a referral to the women's health physio at your local hospital could help, especially to help you out as bubs gets bigger and puts more pressure on you. I'd also talk to the MW about sleep - I've started on homeopathic sleeping tablets cos I was up so much but my MW was open to putting me on a short course of sleeping tablets if needed, just to break the cycle. I imagine your sleep has now got into a bad pattern and it's darned hard work to break on your own, especially if you are stressed. Look after yourself and your wee Caden! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:26am
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Thanks flissty, I have messaged my midwife today but havent heard from her yet so I might give her a ring after lunch if I havent heard from her.
With my back, when I was in early pregnancy I rolled over in bed and pulled a muscle in my back SO badly it took my breath away, it was sore for about 2 days then went away, but now its come back, and if I do anything to strenuious(sp?) it puts my back out and I can hardly walk, it hurts to drive, it hurst to lift my right leg, I cnat sleep, and it really gets me down. At the momment its O.K, I can feel it aching a bit but its ok, but if I do too much or sit wrong or stand for too long it ends up painful again. So ive txt and told my course I wont be in until further notice due to my back problems. Im just really scared that its gonna get worse and worse and i get bigger. ------------- |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 12:17pm
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Definitely talk to the MW about the back. Are you under ACC? You may well qualify - you could try ringing a local physio and asking them and that would get you some decent physio input quickly and usually freely. They can then also provide care through your pregnancy if you continue to get pain flares. They may still suggest you see a women's health physio about a belly belt that provides back support. You can't take Nurofen but there are some other pain meds you can take in small doses (that don't constipate you like Codeine) and they will also help you get through without affecting Caden.
Back pain's a killer - I had a car accident a couple of months before I got pregnant and it flared early on, but has thankfully settled but I'm keeping a close eye on it. I love ACC! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 12:47pm
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I mentioned to my midwife at my last appointment that my back had been giving me some grief, but I just called her now and she said for me to ring my gp and see if he can refer me for pysio and she also mentioned ACC, so I might be able to get help from them which would be great!
My MW said that they wouldnt give me a belly belt as Im not far enough along... ------------- |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 1:00pm
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as far as the belt goes..i have one...it helps but i have to wear it over my clothes and it looks so dumb..and she said to wear it when I'm standing and walking around doing things which is less and less often...! good you can get help for your back though ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 1:16pm
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Im going to the doctor at 11am tomorrow. Hopefully he can help me ------------- |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 4:12pm
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ooooo I hope that you get some help soon!! Must be so horrible for you.
Hugs ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:59pm
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Yay - hope the GP helps. Talk about your sleeping while you're there (value for money!).
Good luck! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 4:09pm
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Ive slippe d a disc in my back, doctor has put me off work/course till the 24th April! And he gave me a form for the sickness benefit and did an ACC thing for me.
So I have to have physio and I have to do some exercises at night to try and help slip the disc back into place. ------------- |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 4:37pm
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Ouch - no wonder you're sore. Glad it's getting sorted. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 4:43pm
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Yeah, Im so relieved! Now I can get better ------------- |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 8:57pm
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Just a wee warning about the sickness benefit, if your partner is earning a bit you might not be entitled to it or you won't get much at all. I've so been there so I know how stressful it is.
Oww on the back thing tho glad something can be done for it. |