A Year Apart
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12992
Printed Date: 14 September 2025 at 10:10pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: A Year Apart
Posted By: MissCandice
Subject: A Year Apart
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 4:16pm
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Well i took my first home pregnancy test today because i was in denial.
Its so soon. I know its my own fault but i just didnt expect it to happen so soon and so easy, i mean it took a year for kylah to be conceived. Does anyone out there have babies a year apart? This one is due the same day as Kylah was. What happens if its born the same day? Kylah will hate sharing her birthday and id like her to have her own special day. Im really scared now, only because i actually just seen the HPT saying positive. DF said he didnt want another one, but when i showed him the test he couldnt stop smiling. ARRRG i hope my MS isnt as bad this time. Im feeling really tired already.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Replies:
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 4:29pm
poor you hun. its not going to be easy, but you will survive it. one of my friends had that happen to her, her first born was born 11 december, and her second born was due 1 december. he arrived on 28 november, so ended up with 2 under 1  she isnt finding it easy, but is doing much better than expected.
take as much help as you can get, is all i can offer. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 5:18pm
i have no advice to offer, but honestly, if you ever want a couple of hours to yourself, i'm here
 ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 5:31pm
I haven't had a gap that small but I'd strongly recommend that you get into some kind of (IRL) support group where you can get the practical support you will need etc from other mums. As far as tiredness goes, one neat thing about having a young toddler and pregnancy is that both of your sleep and eat needs will be similar - regular and little eating, and regular and lot sleeping  All the best!------------- |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:00pm
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some good parenting programmes are out there too - you are both very young and with all the problems you guys seem to have maybe you should look into doing some so you are ready to cope with two kids so close together in your situation
Triple P parenting, and barnardos offer some great programmes. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:03pm
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The friend that I helped give birth a few weeks ago had her son on her twins first birthday, imagine that, 3 kids in 12 months!
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:05pm
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And here i am freaking out about having two a year apart!! Good on her! How is she doing do you know? ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:14pm
| those parenting courses are meant to be fab. was planning to take some myself - in fact got a call about a month ago to say that i was accepted onto the next one....in gisborne. passed on that - bit far to go, but definitely worth enrolling in. I'm going to try and get on one here but would like DH to come with me so we are both on the same page. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:20pm
She's doing OK, am going to visit on Tues, she's a single mum which is hard, the kids dad is in Melbourne, but she's staying with her parents which means she does get a bit of support with the kids which she really needs atm! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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KylahsMum wrote:Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:25pm
My sis had 3 under one as well - older one was 10 months when the twins were born at 30 weeks. She had a lot of family support for the first few months when she was staying with my family, but once she went back to America it was just her and her husband (no family around). She is older, but I dont think that means much. In fact I think she has made life harder for herself by not getting a good support network around her. She never really leaves the kids with anyone, so my advice would be like the others have said - really try and build up your friends and supports. Most people are more than happy to help out. And you know what? You will cope because you just have to. It will be hard initially but once they are a little bit older they will be great mates. Hope you have a smooth and MS free pregnancy.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:37pm
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Holy heck Aimee, I reckon that would be even harder having twins second! Two babies are twice as hard as one, at least my friend can pen her twins in while she's feeding the baby. Mind you, now that I think about it, one of the families at MBC has 13 mths between their boy and their twins, eek! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:42pm
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She's a bit of a nut tho, and really does make things harder for herself. She's one of those super-mum types who tries to do everything - the kids (now 2 and 3) go to all sorts of classes and they are always doing crafts at home etc etc. She really needs to give herself a bit of a break... ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:44pm
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Oh so like me lol
NOT! I am the lazy mum! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:46pm
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You cant be lazy you have twins and maya and anothe on the way!! I think thats far from lazy. Hows your MS emma? I really hope i get the good end of the stick this time.. no MS would be great!!! ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 7:47pm
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Whatever Emma! You always seem to be out and about, AND you work! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 8:07pm
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Like aimee said, you will cope because you have to and will develop strategies to deal with things. You will have to learn to know when things are getting too much and then make sure you have some support to lean on in those times. It can (and has been) done! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 9:52pm
A girl on another forum has got 7ish months between hers (got preg when bubs was 4 weeks and then had that baby at 28 weeks)
Anyway that wasn't particularly helpful for you Kandice. I don't have that small a gap but things I found helpful were having someone watch baby every now and then in those first few months when your feeling like sh*t, so you can sleep. The middle months are fine you can sleep when baby sleeps and it goes really fast cos your so busy. The last few months you will need someone to look after Kylah every now and then so you can sleep again. Its actually quite convenient having a bump while trying to carry a baby cos you can sit them on the top of it. Beware of the comments you will get on how busy you will be, they used to drive me crazy. When bubs is born try and get Charles to take as much time as he can off and someone to watch Kylah as often as possible for those first few weeks. Once you get into a wee routine you will be sweet as and since Kylah will more than likely still be having 2 sleeps you might be able to get them both sleeping at the same time so you can rest. Good luck, you will be fine and on the upside they will be great friends and entertain them selves in a few years and you can catch up on sleep (thats what I tell myself every day  )
and lastly I'd be more than happy to look after Kylah for a few hours every so often when your dying for a break. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 9:54pm
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Oh yeah and theres thats young mums group in linwood if you ever wanted to come down
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 10:06pm
| im guessing the first few years are gonna be pretty hard but in the long run it will be great. I got preggie with the twins when kobe was only 8 month old which sent me into a panick! Just remember there are quite a few of us on here in chch and you can always call on us when you need to we are more than willing to help (and Vanessa and I are desperate for wee babies to cluck over seeing as ours are growing up so fast) |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 15 December 2007 at 10:32pm
| I got preggers with Taine when Jake was five months and when Taine was born it was definitely a struggle - but at one glorious point I had them both sleeping for three hours during the day = at the same time. that unforunately didnt last too long. Now however,i forget how hard it was,and now love havcing them both so close. They generally play nicely together, like similar things so they often get combined presents. It will be tough, but you will get through it and get your own ways of getting through the days. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 10:08am
i cant believe you we so stupid as to get pregnant after all the complaining you have done about your relationship! 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 11:17am
Too late for a comment like this to be helpful! But it could be harmful! The fact is she is and has to make the best of it for the sake of all those involved. Haven't been there so can't offer any wise words but what others have said about making sure you have enough support sounds like the key. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 11:35am
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Kandice, it sounds like you're a terrific mum & housekeeper, & you've had a bit of a tough time in other areas, so I'm sure you'll handle this fine.
I don't believe you need to be told off for this happening so soon after Kylah. You're a grown adult & not a child, plenty of people fall pregnant in not so ideal situations. You've come on this site for support which most of us are giving you. I hope you get plenty of support IRL too. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 11:46am
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far out i cant beleive the way people are allowed to be so rude to each other on this site..it sucks:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 11:53am
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Such is life aye? ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 12:14pm
AGREED. Whatever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all?" ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 12:20pm
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GandT - WHO on earth do you think you are? Are you perfect? I bet not. Have you ever made a mistake? I bet you have. Cant wait untill you need advice because il be the first to throw it back in your face and make you sit here with tears running down your face while you type because you feel like sh*t.
And yeah my relationship has been bad, but did you not read my BLOODY post properly!! If you had, you would have read that the worst things happened ages ago and we are working on our relationship. Not that i have to justify it to you. And when did i complain!! I just wanted to get it off my chest. And i know for a fact your not bloody perfect, and im not either, and im sick of trying to be. Do you not remember the PM you sent me? And now you say im complaining. I just dont think you have anything better to do than make people feel like sh*t.. well go do it to someone else. Dont post on my topics if you cant stop being so rude. You make rude comments about alot of people but when have they done it to you. I love my daughter more than life itself. She laughs, she smiles, she has more than enough clothes and way to many toys, she is cuddled all day and she is doing really well for her age. She has a father that loves her, and would die for her. He loves me and we are happy. We have been working through our problems constructivly(sp?) and we are doing great. I dont think you could ask for more in a family. Yeah maybe win lotto but dont we all. Im not going to give up because i know what i want in life. Im sorry that you feel you need to critsize me because iv made a mistake. But with all do respect you dont know me. And im glad i dont know you. From what iv heard 2 kids is hard no matter the age gap. You should know that yourself. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 12:32pm
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Well said Kandice - best of luck babe - I am sure you are in for a huge adventure - but make the most of it and try and have fun doing it!!
------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 12:36pm
| I think Kandices only mistake was looking for help from nasty people like some of you. She sounds like shes doing a much better job than some other people on here. |
Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 12:54pm
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Well said, Kandice...you go girl!! If we can't write things on these forums without being criticised, I think we are going to find people just won't use the forum at all! I come here for support - I may not totally agree with everything said on here, but my opinion is just that - mine and I keep it to myself and instead try to be positive and supportive to others (as I think most people on here do) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 1:00pm
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Thanks.. i almost felt bad writing it but i didnt ask to be judged and critisized. I asked if someone had a year age gap and how they managed, so i had to write it, no matter how bad i feel.
------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 1:29pm
| They will be good mates Kylahs mum and Good luck |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 2:20pm
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My friend has 14 months between her 2. She found the first few months hard but now they are 3 1/2 and 2 and they get on so well (well there is the odd fight Robyn and Vanessa have already said they will help you out, take them up on their offers and anyones elses offers as the more help you have for those first few months will be great. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 2:21pm
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Don't worry Kandice... many of us have been there with these slightly unplanned pregnancies... and most of the time it works out for the best!
Like Susie said, they'll be great mates. And it means you can get all your childrearing over and done with while you are still young and then embarrass the heck out of them when they are older and you are still prancing around the clubs!
I don't really have any practical advice apart from childproof your house! hehe But I can only imagine you'll be doing that anyway. Don't be afraid to ask for help too. Many people are only too happy to give it. xo Edited to spell your name right! Sorry chick. |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 2:29pm
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My sister and I were 10 and a half months apart (both adopted). It made for some hard times with both my parents working so not having much time seperatley with them But we did become good friends and could relate to eachother well ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 3:10pm
 Kandice, I think that was a long time coming!!!!
I have just finished reading a really good book called minus 9 to 1. It is written by Jamie olivers wife, she fell pregnant accidentally when there first daughter was three months, it talks about the pregnancy and coping with 2 so young. Highly recommend having a read of it. All the best for the future, I have met Kylah and she is a beautiful little girl who seems to be thriving. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 3:13pm
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Thanks cuppatea, im going to go look for that book now. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 4:15pm
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big big hugs hun i,m sure you will be fine like nikki said some people do have umplanned preggys but you cope becase you have to ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 8:48pm
Hey Kandice I just wanted to say that I'm so proud of you.. I know that what you must be going thru right now isn't possibly the "ideal" situation, but I know from reading your posts and seeing your photos that you are a kind person with the most gorgy daughter, and your little one coming is going to be a very lucky to have a big sister like Kylah and a really cool mummy 
You've got lots of friends on here who will be there to offer you tonnes of support, and of course you have got the girls down in CHCH who are willing to help you out too. Hope the MS stays away this time around. Take Care ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 8:50pm
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Thanks Mel.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 10:06pm
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All I have to say is in my experience you can't 'plan' a pregnancy. It took us forever to get pregnant when we wanted to, and yet twice we've managed it when we haven't wanted to. You just have to work with what you've got, and set up as many support networks as you can before hand. Believe me, the thought of having 3 under 2 is terrifying me! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 16 December 2007 at 11:08pm
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My friend was one of 4 under 18 months (parents adopted 2 ethiopian orphans as they were 'sterile', only to find out a month after adopting the last one that they were preggy with twins - awesome fam photos with 2 dark children and 2 blonde haired, blue eyed kids!) and although they were quite well off so had nannies etc, her mum always said that the best thing about it was it was like a wee play group every day. The kids entertained themselves as they were, and still are, the best of friends.
One of the things her mum did say was the best piece of advice was try and get into a routine so there is separate time for each child as even though they are close in age, they will need to experience things separately. And also, like other people said, a good support network will give you a great advantage for the tough times. I know things haven't been easy (and clearly from the posts tonight you've copped a lot of flack for it - not that I'm saying it's all one-sided as I haven't been here while it was happening) but the main thing is, you will have 2 kiddies with a year apart, you will do your best and so will you DF. And that's all anyone can ask for, so I say good luck and I look forward to hearing about your *hopefully* non-eventful, non-MS pregnancy!
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 17 December 2007 at 8:30am
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Wow emz, 4 under 18 months!! I think that is great advice about the one-on-one time as well. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |