What made you start TTC?
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Topic: What made you start TTC?
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Subject: What made you start TTC?
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 9:37am
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Was there a certain point when you were thinking of TTC that made you decide now is the right time?
What made you TTC? Is there ever a right time?! LOL |
Replies:
Posted By: AngieBabe
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 10:16am
I don't think with me there was an exact moment or anything - I got married 2 1/2 years ago and then we bought our first house not long after so I guess the feeling or security and being 'settled' made me realise I was finally ready to start a family, only thing is I had to wait for hubby to catch up 
I wanted to start TTC as soon as possible but DH took around a year to come 'round; he said we were waiting to be in a more financially viable position but I think that was a bit of an excuse really... we've now been trying for number one for a year (kinda wish we had started earlier, as I'm now approaching 31 rather quickly!)  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: Leelee
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 10:16am
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We havent started ttc yet, we plan to in a couple of months. Firstly we wanted to wait until after we were married, then I have just got a new job so I wanted to be at the job for a year for maternity leave and lastly because I want to lose weight first,
I would love so much to have a baby now but but we just had a couple of thing to do before it felt like the right time, if there is such a thing as the right time. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Zebra7
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 10:42am
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I don't think there is ever the perfect time. My husband said he'd like to be more financially secure first too but I think that's an excuse as well!
In my case, we got married earlier this year and then all of a sudden it seemed like everyone was pregnant! Two of my friends and one family member have had babies this year. Plus I turned 30 in July so the old biological clock has really kicked in
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 11:01am
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With our first we started TTC a couple of months after our wedding. We had already bought our house a year before and it just felt like the right time to start. I guess it was the fact we were married that made it the right time. We had talked about it beforehand anyways and knew we wanted babies soon.
Is there ever a right time? I don't know, it def felt like the time was right for us. And now we are onto bub #2.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Snickerdoodle
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 12:06pm
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I agree with everyone - I don't think there's ever a right time. It's all relative - the more money you have, the more you spend on baby things, so you're in no better position than what you would be if you had less money.
I think it's a totally natural thing to "feel" ready to have kids. If you're both strong in your relationship then you can do anything 
We had an accidental pregnancy a year before we were married (had been together for 4 years though). We were a little worried at first, but we got excited very quickly as we owned our own home, both had good jobs etc. Sadly that ended in a m/c. So we got married a year later and were TTC for 18 months after that before getting pregnant. Of course, I still have the odd freak out... but that's natural, and there's nothing I can do about it now
Good luck to you!! ------------- 
http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 12:30pm
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Because DH is getting old - teehee. He's a bit older than me so that's a huge deciding factor. We've got 3 years before he reaches a certain birthday and then that's it. We want it all over and done with by then so that our children aren't embarrassed by an old fuddy duddy father lol. Cutting it a bit fine I know. He wanted to have kids 'one day' and I said I'm not having babies with anyone until I'm married. That's just how I wanted it. Then we got married and planned to start straight away but put it on hold a little bit. We were trying to wait until next year and have some just us time but then we bought our new house and decided it's too big for just the two of us.
DH used to change is mind, yes, no, yes no. I just roll my eyes and ask if we're having one of those days. As soon as my 3 year old cousin decided she had a crush on DH that was it. He's completely smitten and can't understand how I just don't get pregnant straight away. I think the right time is when you feel like you really want to have a baby. Unless you are a criminal, about to be sent to jail, addicted to drugs, declared bankrupt then any time is the right time. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 1:23pm
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For us, we had been married for a couple of months, just settled into our own home and I kept on getting clucky!
But the main deciding factor for us was medical issues. We were worried that we may not be able to conceive, and I didn't want to find that out when I was in my late twenties to then have to go through the whole process. Luckily for us we had a miracle conception (I still remember the look on my specialist's face when I got a BFP) and will be parents in just over a month. We for some reason were just 'ready', but when I got the BFP we did have a bit of a freak out as we didn't expect it to happen so soon. |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 1:25pm
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We set a time to start trying for our family ... and then got caught up in the idea and threw that plan out the window and started without waiting!
I think we were both just ready for it, although having said that, I think I was more ready than DH. He admitted to me not long ago that he was only *really* ready about a year ago (we started about 3 years ago). ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 7:32pm
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hmmmmmm that's a hard one. I just couldn't get babies out of my head so badgered DH until he said I could have one...lol
Seriously, we had been married a while and were set up, as in had our own house, good jobs etc and I was keen to start out family before hitting the big 30, DH probably would have been happy to wait a couple of years more as he always stresses about money etc. I think as someone else said there is never really a right time financially as the more you have the more you spend. I think sometimes you have to go with your gut...or listen to that biological clock. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 8:03pm
For the first time when we were TTC (before Olivia) it felt right *after* we had given up (wedding approaching, MIL sick) and that was when we got pregnant. Second time I was dead against having another kid so soon, then just one day a light went on and I wanted #2. Unfortunately I have recently had a m/c so we are up to #3!! But still, for me I just knew. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
BooBoo wrote:Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 9:54pm
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For us, we married last nov and have always known that we need to TTC before I hit 30 becuase of the added risks with T1 diabetes and concieving healthy children. I just was so shocked at how quickly after our wedding I wanted to TTC! It came on thick and fast. So fast, i think even DH was shocked!
But i knew that it would take at least a year for me to become healthy enough for us to consider TTC. That was 6 months ago. Now, it seems I may have PCOS as well. Not sure yet, what this means for us, but i guess only time will tell. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 28 November 2007 at 10:13pm
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I met my DP in January of this year and within a week we knew we would marry and would love it if we were blessed with a child, because I am 38 and already have a 12 year old boy who is my pride and joy we felt we did not want to wait to start trying because we may not be able to have kids (due to age). So what will be will be I feel but its not the end of the world if it doesnt happen but at same time would be so excited if it does happen. And in the meantime its fun trying!!
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:23am
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DH and I made the deal that as soon as we were married the condoms went out the window....it took 2 yrs, 2 miscarriages and a loss of 50kgs, and a 6mth break from ttcing before we feel pregnant....I wouldnt change a thing though...good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:38am
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Mine was a medical thing. I had my first lot of endo taken out in March 03 and was told at my 6 week check up to start trying (as we wanted to start trying) and I got pregnant straight away. In Feb 05 when I had my next endo op my gyne told me to have another one very soon if I wanted to get pregnant again but as I was getting married March 06 we waited and I got pregnant in May 06. As I want another one I need to think about it soonish. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:40am
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we had a pregnancy scare (I have weird cycles so I was just really, really late), and got to talking. I was the one that kept putting it off for one reason or another which really weren't valid so we decided to just start. 6 months later we were pregnant, 9 months later Jack was here and it was the best decision we ever made! ------------- "> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 12:24pm
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At the moment, I'd say I'm emotionally ready (and DH is too), in that I can imagine sharing our life with another person and think we would love being parents.
But we are not TTC just yet because we want me to get a bit more established in my career so that we can have children in the environment we want them in - ie, if i've been working a bit longer, it will be easier for me to work part-time etc, and I will have a better CV for if I decide to leave my job and reapply for another later. Plus it lets us get our traveling and stuff done first. I must say getting married made a big difference to how I felt, which surprised me. We also wanted to wait until we got into a home which we could imagine having a family in (we do now). Our first home was a lovely place to live as a couple, but I think I would have gone stir-crazy if i'd been a SAHM in that house! So I think you know you're ready when all the reasons why not no longer outweigh that inexplicable desire to start a family. But then I'm not ready yet, so what would I know!
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 1:11pm
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We had a scare while we were on Honeymoon. We had decided that we wouldn't TTC for a couple of years so were really scared/worried about how we would manage. We figured it all out and when it turned out we weren't pregnant we were both absolutely gutted. So we thought - why wait and went for it. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 02 December 2007 at 9:42am
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i changed my pill a few months before wedding and knew risk was a pregnancy (im a pill baby!!!) so we talked....then on honeymoon i messed up my pill (we were in usa) so talked again....and then ccme back, hii xmas and decided to just see what happened...my pill had been messed up all month...had a MC arond april and then got pg in june..and bubba to follow...
we have houses, jobs etc etc, i was coming up to 35 and DH i his 30s too..... and altho we still always wanted MORE...if we had waited there would never have been a good time financially to ttc....
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 02 December 2007 at 4:44pm
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We had planned on started TTC after we get married in March, but as I've just changed jobs, we'll wait 12 months so I can qualify for all my maternity leave entitlement.
There is a large number of woman in our company and so they are very accommodating of working mums. I also want to enjoy having my husband to myself for a bit ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Snickerdoodle
Date Posted: 02 December 2007 at 4:53pm
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Fleury, you're eligible for maternity leave as long as you've completed 12 months (6 in some jobs) there. You can be pregnant for 9 of those months
But I don't blame you for wanting time with your new hubby. We started TTC after our wedding. It took us 18 months to get pregnant. As frustrating as that was I'm thankful we had all that time together as just a couple
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http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 03 December 2007 at 8:57pm
| yeah i got preggers 3 months into my new job and got maternity leave....you have to have been working there for 12 months - there is also a 6 month component but i forget the difference! (baby brain still?) |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 10:19am
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I was at mine for just about 6 months, was already 9 weeks pregnant when I started (didn't know I was pregnant when I accepted the job, had a long notice to work then 3 week holiday before starting new job). I still got 14 weeks paid but legally was not entitled to the unpaid part (but my work have let me have it anyway). -------------
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 5:28pm
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I know you can qualify as long as you've been there 12 months before your due date, but I don't really want to do that. Getting to grips with a new job is challenging enough without adding a pregnancy brain to the mix.
So we'll get married, and go contraceptive free this time next year. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: alexbabe
Date Posted: 04 February 2008 at 3:46pm
| for me it would be the fact that my dh is bit older than me and i dont want to be 40 and still chasing a career and then wanting to have a kid and running after a teenager at 60. Me & DH are coming up to our 3yr wedding anniversary and nearly 2yrs ago we decided ttc, only in the last year we got serious about it-before that it was just lets see what happens |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 05 February 2008 at 8:16pm
| It built up for me for a long time. I didn't get together with my dh until I was 31 and we weren't thinking much about children for the first year or two, although we did talk about it a bit hypothetically. But about 18 months ago I came home and told him I wanted to start ttc. He freaked out and did the whole financial security thing. Then we compromised on waiting a year to start (the longest I could imagine waiting the the soonest he could imagine starting.) It turned out that he came around within 6 months and we have been trying ever since, about 10 months, with one m/c in January. I kind of wish that I had started ttc earlier because I didn't really understand how long it could take and I'm 35 now. But there was no way that we or our relationship was ready before. |
Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 05 February 2008 at 8:34pm
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hey vanillabean I am 38 and ttc our first together, I have a 12yr old from a previous relationship. We only met just over a year ago and are getting married in about ten days. I always thought I would like to have more kids but never met the person who I wanted to have them with, and then I met dp last year and well I feel Im not too old I still run round after a 12yr old.
But I find it a bit scary thinking that it may not happen cause of my age! But we have been trying actively for about four months now and nothing yet but am also trying to lose about 20kgs so this might help our chances. But think we will get some basic tests done if we are not preggy by beginning of March so that gives us one more cycle after this. Cause of my age I don't want to wait to see if everything is ok, if you know what I mean. Makes me realise how much I took getting pregnant for granted when I was in my twenties lol  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Rashika
Date Posted: 05 February 2008 at 9:41pm
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Funny how some of us are a bunch of oldies
Me too... I will be the big 4ohhhhhhhhh this friday. It wasn't quite the way I expected to spend my 40th after getting the BFP in Nov, but fingers crossed we can still make it there this year. Dont worry too much about your age guys (I tell myself this ALL the time) cos it really is much less of an obstacle as it used to be, and they do take really good care of the over 35's. (Gees I sound like and OAP!) I wish I had the opportunity to have a child earlier but it was not to be. Now I'm with a great guy and almost divorced (which is a GOOD thing), so trying our best to complete our family. The waiting is kinda hard as you get older, but cant do much to change things... you'd think we would be more patient than the younger ones!
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Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 05 February 2008 at 10:32pm
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Hey Rashika sorry about your loss, and its great to see some other OAP's (hehe) here in the ttc forum.
It will be neat to go though this journey with others on Ohbaby in similar situations. I think for me I find it freaky to think we won't get preggy naturally but I think I will be fine once I know either way, and if we need fertility assistance then so be it cause my new partner is wonderful and I would dearly love to have kids with him. So I am determined one way or another we will have kids ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rashika
Date Posted: 06 February 2008 at 7:53am
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Yep it is a tough time but getting there.
It is quite nice to find others who are going thru the same worries cos of our age and you might surprise your self how quickly it may happen. I wasn't expecting much after having been on and off the pill for most of my life (about 20 odd years or more) so only 4 months seemed quite quick to me. I guess the hardest thing is just the waiting. But it really is good to be able to express that frustration with others... sorry in advance! Partner is great & tries really hard but I KNOW he gets sick of my moaning at times!
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 06 February 2008 at 9:46pm
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I have known Neil since we were 21 and our friendship/ relationship took a few stumbles until we got together properly 11 years ago, married for 6. We always said we were too young to have children, and enjoyed acting like them most of the time. About 2 years ago I had a bit of a scare, period was about 6 weeks late before I was brave enough to test and it was negative. Instead of being relieved and overjoyed at getting away with it again, I was gutted and when I spoke to Neil, so was he. At the time we were both 35. So we decided to stop trying not to get pregnant and see what happened - you can see from my ticker the end result ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 8:54pm
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Interesting to see what some of the oldies have to say, as I guess I'm assuming I will get preggers straight away which given I will be 35 is not a certainty.
Renewed prescription today and still can't decide if this will be the last time. I think it may well be that I finish this next 6 months worth and then re-adjust my body to its natural cycle. Maybe not actively TTC until after Christmas, as there is always some excuse for delaying. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |