Age gaps
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11793
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Topic: Age gaps
Posted By: cuppatea
Subject: Age gaps
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:16pm
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Not sure whether this is the right place to post but hey.
What age gaps do you have between children and what are the good points and bad points of the gap you have. I want to TTC#2 when Spencer is 1, DH said 7 then 5 and now 3 so long as he is earning 100K plus and can have a new car lol He thinks it will be easier if Spencer is already at school or kindy, I think it is better to have them close together and get all the pregancy and nappy stuff out of the way quicker. ------------- 
 
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:28pm
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100K plus!! I wish my DH could earn near that amount! lol..
We have been thinking the same thing recently. We would either go with a smallish age gap of 18 months or 3 years.. haven't decided |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:28pm
I can see the positives to both the situations  we are hopefully going to be in the middle somewhere. I guess it all comes down to personal choice and what suits you. I think that I'd rather have pregnancy nappies etc over and done with, but then the thought of 2 quite close is a bit scary! So much to think about!!-------------  My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:40pm
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There's 3 1/2 years between Maya and the gremlins, we would have liked a smaller gap but it didn't work out that way, and IMO they way things worked out has been perfect, Maya was old enough to cope with the chaos of the gremlins arrival and she adores her baby sisters. We're planning on TTC again around this time next year and all going well will have somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years between the gremlins and the next one. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:43pm
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We chose to have 3 years in between but it worked out to be 3.5yrs and that has worked out great for us because Bay is toilet trained, a great sleeper, self suficient (SP?), secure, happy, at daycare, walks instead of needing to go in a pram as well, understands better about baby, helpful etc BUT this is all compared to my SIL who has 3 under 3 (1yr between each!) and has found great struggles so i have no idea how others find having them close.
I personally didnt think i could handle having 2 under 2 or 3. DH asked me when Bay was 1 if we could try for another baby and i said no because i didnt feel ready and to me Bay was still a baby! ...i wanted 5 yrs!!!  so we compromised and went for 3yrs. We started TTC just before Bay was 2 and even then i didnt feel ready but knew it would take a while anyway.
To be honest im finding Bay WAY!!!!! more demanding and a handful now than he has ever been but thems the breaks and we are happy with the age gap.
I wanted 10 yrs between Astin and the next 1-2 kiddies but DH wants the same age gap for all and i think im happy with that. Man what a waffle!!!!! lol 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:45pm
one?????  teehee two maybe??? 
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Maya wrote:Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 6:59pm
So do I!!! he just said it to be ridiculous, when I asked what car he said a ferrari!!!! Believe me if he could earn near that amount I wouldn't being going back to work ever. -------------
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 7:02pm
| We are wanting them close together. I am hoping to start TTC in Feb. Tom will only be 6 months. But I like the idea of getting it over and done with fast. So far Tom has been a really easy baby so that may be clouding my judgement. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 7:07pm
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Yeah Spencer is fairly easy going as well. I suppose I shouldn't assume the next one would be as well -------------
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 7:25pm
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I like the closish gaps, between 18mos and 2yrs is my ideal. Even though it's a lot of work when each baby arrives (it is anyway, right?), so much of your work is just like, change the toddler's nappy, change the baby's nappy, etc. And if I have had a crap night, I don't still have to do a school run! I think the kids adjust quicker to having a new person around - less rivalry and less time to wait until the development ages are close enough to play together. But I actually think that people can make any gap work and it's just when you feel ready. In some ways I think I should devote the next 6 or so years to nappies and then be over and done with ------------- |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 7:32pm
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Ive got 2.5yrs between my boys & think its great for the same reasons as Amber- independence!!
Yep they are all different & dummy mummy me had to try again after having a difficult first born!! ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 8:10pm
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Argh, I have no idea. At this stage, DD will be 4 by the time another would arrive. Leaning towards a larger gap, if any gap.. one child maybe! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 October 2007 at 9:12pm
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We have almost 3 years and it is great. Andrew was old enough to understand that he wasn't the only one from now on and the big thing for me was that he was TT'ed. It is each to their own my friend has a 14 month gap and thinks that is great whereas I could not do that. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Helen21
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 9:43am
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We have 2yrs 4 mths between Chloe and Miya and find that great, I had a difficult pgy which was a bit hard on Chloe because I was in and out of hospital a lot which unsettled her. As soon as Miya was born it was great, she wanted to help and had her own baby to do all the things I did to Miya. Chloe was also completely TTed during the day which helped.
Now Miya is almost 2 they are best of friends and do almost everything together. They are both very protective of each other, if one cries the other comforts them etc. Chloe tries to teach Miya everything, counting, names of things, playing different games, songs and even to sit on the toilet! The only downside I've found is in the first six weeks Chloe did get a little jealous when I was bfing all the time and now sometimes Chloe can get a bit too 'motherly' and tries to tell Miya what to do and tells her off and we have to keep reminding her that that's what DH and I are here for! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Chloe 12/7/03 Miya 5/11/05 |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 10:07am
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ah thats kinda cute in a way. There is 19 months between me an my sister, my mum had to use nipple shields with her cos she was a biter and apparently everytime mum fed her I had to have a nipple shield and would feed my doll lol -------------
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 10:11am
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We have 4 years between Kiya and Josiah, 18 months between Josiah and Xavier, and there should be 18 months again between Xavier and Crumb.
The larger gap between Kiya and Josiah wasn't the ideal, but as I didn't meet my husband until Kiya was 6 months old that's the way things worked out! It wasn't too bad, as Kiya started morning kindy the day Josiah was born so she had her special things and I had one-on-one time with the baby. At 4yo, she was old enough to understand that the baby was dependant on me and didn't get too jealous. Its now that they both are older there's a bit of sibling rivalry when she thinks we treat her brothers better than we treat her - usually because we've asked her to do something we know she can do but we do it for the boys as they aren't big enough. We were going to start trying for #3 (Xavier) when Josiah was 1yo, aiming for a gap of about 20/21 months... at his first birthday I was 3 months pregnant! 18 months hasn't been too bad... Josiah was walking at 9.5 months so I didn't have to carry him everywhere in the later stages, like busymum said a toddler and a newborn sort of work in together for a lot of things. Kiya had been at school for 6 months when Xavier was born, and was quite independant. We had just agreed to start trying for #4 (Crumb) when Xavier was 18 months old... well, looks like I'm due then! I'm not worried about the gap between Crumb and Xavier, should work out like the gap between Xavier and Josiah did... I'm not worried about the gap between Crumb and Kiya as she'll be 7yo and should be fine... it's the gap between Crumb and Josiah that's worrying me. He turns 3 a couple of days before my due date and I think he's going to be the worst for sibling rivalry. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 10:32am
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Our age gaps are quite big....
Conor is 12 (he's from a previous relationship) Nyah is 5 Cooper 7wks. We didn't mean to have such a big gap between Nyah and Cooper, we just took our sweet time deciding whether or not we wanted a third one... it also took me longer to get pregnant than I thought. As it turns out, I've found it quite ideal. Nyah started school 3 days after Cooper was born, so I had that time at home with him while she was at school. Conor is just amazing with both kids, he's so patient and kind to both of them, I guess like a big brother should. I try not to rely to much on him in the afternoon chaos as I know he needs his space and has homework etc to do... but sometimes he wants to help out and that's great. I guess in hindsight we maybe should have had a smaller age gap, but it just didn't work out that way... and I know that once Cooper is older they will be great friends regardless of their ages. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 1:27pm
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We have 18 month's and I love it. We were hoping to have the same did not work out that way tho. I think 18 months work's well now Mikey is walking they play all the time together it is so lovely. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 2:50pm
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i LOVE the smaller gaps. jade and em 17 months and they are great freinds and close in development and interests which is really nice.
i find that while with jade and kayla jade is lovely with kayla and loves her to bits they dont have much in common with almost 4 years age gap-maybe later in life? emma and kayla i really dont like the age gap- 2 years 4 months(ish) emma was rougher with kayla than jade was with emma (could be personality?) and i find that emma wants to play with kayla when its just the 2 of them around but em doesnt quite understand that kayla is smaller and doesnt like what emma does. so i like the closer age gaps for the kids friendships and development. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 4:14pm
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I am actually a little worried about the 2y 4m age gap we will have - hannah is getting very demanding and determined, plus she has stopped having day sleeps now so it will be hard to rest with a newborn. Thinking about it now, I think it would have been easier to have had a newborn around when Han was about 20 months - old enough to know whats going on and able to do some things for herself, but not so time demanding. Although in saying that, everyone makes whatever age gap they have work because you have to! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 26 October 2007 at 8:49pm
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If I was stupid enough to have another I would have a way bigger age gap. I have 17 months between mine and neither of my 2 sleep well so if its not one its the other. Jack is a very active boy and needs a lot of attention so I'm lucky caprece is pretty happy play with her toy bar most of the day. Its impossible to tell what kind of child yours will be when they are small and I think you will do the best with whatever you have.
I'm sure one day having them this close will pay off but right now it really sucks. |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 28 October 2007 at 12:08am
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I have just over 3 years between mine and I think its great- we originally wanted 2 yrs but took us alot longer than we hoped to conceive Kate. When I think about how it would have been having Kate when Charlotte was that much younger I am really glad she came when she did! Charlotte is so much more help and really independent- plus she is at nursery (Kindy) 5 mornings a week so I get alot more alone time with Kate than I woudl if they were both home all the time. I loved that I got those first 3 years to focus totally on Charlotte- they're really lovely together too. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 October 2007 at 8:53am
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Thanks heaps guys, although I think I'm more confused lol -------------
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 30 October 2007 at 8:53am
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We are planning on TTC our second when Charlotte is about 4 and a half so there will be just over a 5 year gap. Its purely so we can spend the next few years getting into a great position with 2 incomes and pay off a large whack of our mortgage - otherwise we would be financially crippled. We also want to travel a bit more which will be easier with one child rather than 2. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 04 November 2007 at 5:24pm
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Our plan is to ttc when McKayla is 3. We always wanted a bit of a bigger gap but that is due to me having had a few mc's and wanting McKayla to be a bit older to realise she cant jump on me and understand if I am on bedrest.
I do however feel so so so ready to try now for another one but hubby is not budging until residence come through Sigh. So guess the earliest we will try is middle next year. But then again my parents are coming out Christmas. So dont think I want to be pregnant then which means only after that. Which means I will start trying when we originally said we would. Okay anyone made any sense out of that at all? Dont worry I am lost too. I just really really hope I can fall pregnant a lot easier this time and a lot quicker. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 9:05pm
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Bump -------------
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