How did you cope when...
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11343
Printed Date: 13 July 2025 at 7:25am
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Topic: How did you cope when...
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Subject: How did you cope when...
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 12:22pm
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your partner went back to work?
My DH has been so wonderful for me over the past two weeks but he goes back to work on Wednesday and I wonder (am scared to death really) about how I will cope on my own... Any tips? What did you do? ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Replies:
Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 12:26pm
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My DH was only around for 3 days at home once Bella was born (the other 2 were spent waiting for me trying to get her out!!). I guess you kind of cope because you have to, but at that stage I wasn't getting my knickers in a twist about the state of the house etc. and warned DH that I probably wouldn't be doing much for the first few weeks. You really need to concentrate on you and bubs, having wee sleeps when baby sleeps and just bonding with your new baby. You will be fine, and will find you come up with your own wee routine of how you do things, but don't expect too much in those first few weeks. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 12:46pm
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Willie never took time off either time, but I remember with Maya my mum came and stayed for a week and I remember crying my eyes out when she left and being sure I wouldn't be able to cope! But I did! Just don't put too much pressure on yourself to get EVERYTHING done, just focus on you and bubs and getting thru the day and getting to know each other, and her routine etc. It doesn't matter if the house is messy or you eat cheese on toast for tea! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 12:59pm
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I remember panicking when mum was going back home she was here for 3wks Jesse had a week of when James was born I found that I just got on with it had sleeps when he did and didn't worry about the house being spotless and Jesse cooked tea for us which was a great help too wish he still did lol. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 1:17pm
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My hubby didn't take time off either, but what I found really helpful was him cooking tea when he got home, which he did for 2 months. Not having to worry about preparing dinner seems to make such a big difference. Maybe you could ask him to be the chef for so many nights a week, or a period of a couple more weeks or something? It helps if the guys know not to expect things to be 'in order' in the home with a newborn, and if we don't expect that of ourselves, too! Try not to panic about it... it's do-able and you'll make it through! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 1:50pm
| write two things that you want to do that day. NO MORE!! and two things have to be achievable, not things like "clean house" - then you feel good when you achieve something. i also found NOPT spending the day in jammies and trying to get out once a day really good too. When bubba sleeps in the pushchair, an afternoon latte reading a mag is bliss. |
Posted By: mummy_dee
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 3:23pm
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I was scared when DH went back to work. I thought I'd never cope! However you do find a way and I'd re-iterate alot of what other ladies have already said.
- Try to sleep/rest when bubs does - I know its hard when you've got washing/dishes/vacuuming etc to do - but it really does help. - Ask DH to take on majority of the cooking duties. - Don't worry about ALL of the housework!! I like Lizzle's idea of only doing a couple of realistic things a day. - Remember you've got a great bunch of people of Ohbaby to listen while you rant if you're having a bad day!  ------------- Daphne Married Stuart: 19/03/05 Oliver: 9/06/06 Lilia due: 19/03/08 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 4:10pm
| i dont remember - but my mum swears i couldnt wait for him to go back to work and get out of my hair! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 4:17pm
| My DH was lucky enough to have a month off so I was scared when he went back to work, but he just took over things like cooking dinner etc so that I could have a break when he did get home. The first day was actually tons easier than I ever thought it could be. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 4:38pm
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I was in hospital 6 days and then DH was at home with me for 2 weeks so was quite worried when he went back. I was unable to sleep during the day partly because bubs didn't sleep very much but mostly cos I would just lay there awake, not much of an afternoon napper, I would however try to go back to bed in the morning if poss and not get up properly till about 10am. DH was really really excellent and even though he was working he still did all the washing and cooking for me (and still does a lot of it now). I really didn't worry about doing any housework whatsoever, pretty much all I would do was look after baby and feed myself. I did try to get out once a day though and take bubs and my dogs for a walk, helps stop you getting cabin fever. Is also good if you can meet a friend or fellow mum a couple of times a week for a coffee etc.
Try not to have unrealistic expectation of what you can do in one day and make sure you DH is aware that you won't be doing much. Men can have a tendancy when they return to work to forget what looking after the baby is like so if remarks start occuring try giving him bubs for a little while and he will soon remember why the house is not as clean and tidy as it was before bubs arrived. ------------- 
 
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