Baby’s sex and bonding
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10998
Printed Date: 15 August 2025 at 4:36am
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Topic: Baby’s sex and bonding
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Subject: Baby’s sex and bonding
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 9:49am
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Did anyone worry about bonding with their baby if it wasn't the sex they were hoping for?
I want a girl so much and worry that if it is a boy that I will be quite disappointed and it will affect how I bond. Anyone have any thoughts or advice? ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Replies:
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 10:06am
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DP will be taking over soon as a house husband while I go back to work. He really wanted a boy and I wondered how eager he would be to stay home if we'd have had a girl. We did have a boy, he's a really easy placid baby, and DP is looking forward to doing his stint so its not an issue. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 10:14am
we didn't know what we were having and something in me just convinced me I was having a boy, so when they announced we had a daughter the first thing she heard her parent's say was "REALLY?!?!?"  
We've had no issues bonding at all. I'll be totally honest here and say that it did feel "weird" that we didn't have a boy because I was so convinced, but you soon forget that and enjoy every moment you have with your son/daughter. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 10:32am
| i was convinced both times we were having a girl. we didn't find out the sex and when the boys were born, i forgot all about my "daughter". early in the pregnancy i had been worried about the same thing, but when my boys came along, no problmes bonding at all. |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 10:36am
with #1 I soooo wanted a girl. When he came out a boy I completely and almost instantly forgot the much wanted GIRL cause my BOY was just so beautiful(can you call a boy that  ) and gorgeous.
The other 2 we found out what we were having so no surprises there ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Skyflame
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 10:48am
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I used to feel the same way as you sunnyhoney. Both DH and I really wanted a girl and were convinced that we were having one (as was everyone else) I remember worrying in the last couple of months that if I had a boy I would be upset and very disappointed, but as soon as I held him in my arms and saw we had a little boy I forgot all that. I was kind of worried that DH would feel let down since he wanted a girl too.
I have had no problems at all bonding with him and love him to bits, and although we still want a girl we wouldnt trade him for anything. He is special no matter what and we can always try for a girl next time
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:02am
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I wanted a girl for a few reasons and when I found out we were having a boy, there was a moment or two of disappointment but once he was here it was just awesome. Boys are great as well
We would still love a girl next time (hehe I'm saying next time already! eek) |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:24am
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I really wanted a girl too, and when we found out we were expecting a boy, I have to admit that I cried. But within a day of finding out, I was so excited to be having a boy, and I would not change him for the world. We have bonded incredibly well, and I love and adore my little man with all my heart.
In fact, when the next one (hehehehe) comes along I'm hoping for another wee man 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:24am
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I wanted a girl when i was pregnant with Bay and when i found out that he was a boy i was gutted....for 2 minutes!! and then when i was pregnant with Astin i was so eager to have another boy cos Bay was such an awsome little man!!...now i have another awsome little man and am hoping for a 3rd little man and thatl be us done
I went from really wanting a girl to only wanting 3 boys so its certainly easy to bond to whatever sex and then want more of the same! lol
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:27am
I did NOT want a girl AT ALL, in fact I was absolutley DEVESTATED when I found out #2 was a girl. But now she's here, I just ADORE her, no issues bonding or anything, I love her to peices. That said, as much as I love her to bits, if we were going to have another (and we won't be) I still would only want a boy. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
sunnyhoney wrote:Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:36am
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I *knew* Maya was a girl from day one, or maybe I just wanted it so badly I made myself believe it, but either way I got what I wanted. With the gremlins I was keen for a boy, but when I found out they were twins I changed my mind coz the thought of twin boys petrified me. I had a dream that I found out they were boys and I didn't want them which really unsettled me, in fact I think I posted about it here. So again I was pleased when I found out I was having girls. Yet however much I wanted them to be girls, we still had huge bonding issues and it was and is an ongoing process for us. There are so many factors which influence the bond you develop with your baby, and I think we all worry about whether and when it will happen, but my girls and I are proof that even tho it can sometimes take time (lots of time!) it does happen. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 11:54am
i relly wanted a girl my whle family wanted a girl so when i found out it was a boy i was a little disappointed but i soon got over that having a wee boy is soo amazing and i love him to bits i thought i hadnt bonded with james but when i look back i had it was share forse of love that boned us arrghhh now i wana cry  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 12:25pm
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With Josh yes I was a little disapointed when we saw he was a boy, but I soon got over it after I realised that I wouldn't have to buy a whole new wardrobe as I already have boys stuff. Now I have boys I am glad, DH still wants a girl but with all the girly part issues I have I really don't want to have one to pass them on to her. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 12:30pm
Like Toni, I was convinced that Hannah was a boy and I almost referred to her as 'Joshua' (just between her and me)  LOL! Then when I had her and DH said she was a girl, I was shocked! But then I looked into her pretty little face and I wouldn't have changed her for anything, I was so happy ------------- |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 25 September 2007 at 1:18pm
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I really wanted a girl too, and was a little gutted when we found out he was a boy (DH was over the moon as he wanted a boy!), but we have bonded well - I sortof saw him as a baby more than boy/girl at first, if that makes sense?! And I love my gorgeous wee man to bits now. I couldn't imagine life without him ... or having a girl now. But next time, I definitely want a girl ....
If you do have a boy -- once you see him and get to know him, your heart will melt! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |