Daytime Sleeping Woes
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Printed Date: 14 August 2025 at 12:30am
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Topic: Daytime Sleeping Woes
Posted By: cuppatea
Subject: Daytime Sleeping Woes
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 10:30am
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Hello,
My baby is driving me absolutely crazy with his daytime sleeps (or lack of). I have been trying to set a fairly flexible routine following the feed play sleep mantra that plunkett promote as this allows him to still demand feed but for me to feel like I have a small amount of control on what our day is going to be like. We generally get up smack on 7am he has a feed a play and then goes to sleep but 30mins to an hour later he is awake and screaming. I have spent up to an hour and half before trying to resettle him, nothing seems to work. I have tried taking him out in the car and the pram. The car stops the crying but does not put him to sleep and as soon as we get out of the car the crying starts again. The pram has stopped working all together, the last couple of times I have been out shopping with him have had to carry him around even though he was awake and happy. I have a front pack and sometimes this will settle him, but only if I keep moving while wearing it. His dummy will calm him down but not put him to sleep. I am sure that he is tired and not hungry as once he calms down a bit he will be yawning and rubbing his eyes. In the end I normally feed him because it has gone on so long that if he wasn't hungry to start with he would be after an hour of not going back to sleep. Once he has been fed he will pass out for another small sleep, and my whole feed, play sleep attempt has been ruined and is not even 10am yet. At night he is fairly good, we have a feed at 6.30pm, he is then normally in bed and sleeping by 7-7.30pm I then dream feed him at 10.30pm and he sleeps through till 4.30am feeds then back to sleep till 7am. When I first put him down at night or during the day he goes into his bassinette awake and settles himself. Please help as come 4pm I have a very grumpy tired baby. |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 10:59am
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Sounds exactly like how Daniel use to be.. how old is he? And does he have reflux or anything like that??
I can tell you what has worked for us.. when my one goes back to sleep so I have time to write it all down lol |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:11am
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Hi,
He is 12 weeks today, he doesn't have any reflux. He is quite small for his age as he was 2 weeks early and only weighed 6lb 2, I think he is about 10lb now, it has been a couple of weeks since he was lasted weighed. On an unrelated subject how do you guys get the little charts across the bottom of your posts? |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:13am
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Caleb is exactly the same. I've given up on the feed-play-sleep routine. The Plunket nurse has just left. Here is her advise.
Plunket - If he's sleeping well through the night don't worry about day time sleeps too much. If he's happy he probably doesn't need it. Put him in his cot for some 'down time'. If he chooses to sleep fine, otherwise he's had some time in a non stimulating environment. Aim for two sleeps during the day - one in the morning and one in the afternoon. They may only be 30-40 mins. If he wakes crying get him up and feed him. Otherwise give him about 10-15 minutes to resettle not an hour. If the feed-play-sleep routine isn't working don't do it as you will spend all day feeding him and trying to get him to settle and that is exhausting for you. What I have found - yes, after an hour or two he will be hungry. They are burning more energy if they are crying or moving than if they are sleeping. If Caleb sleeps I count on feeding him after about 3 hours. If he's up he will probably need another feed in an hour or two. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:22am
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We have tried feeding him if he wakes up grumpy this worked when he
was on breastmilk, but I have had to put him on formula and he refuses this, as is still full up. But like you say after an hour of grumpyness he has definately got hungry as well as still be tired. Sometimes he is quite happy after a 30min snooze, and either wants a feed or will play a bit before his next feed and thats fine I don't want him to sleep if he doesn't need it. Think I might take your advise and give up with feed play sleep. Already gave up with putting him down at first yawn, as he would just lay awake smiling and laughing to himself for ages so obviously wasn't quite ready for a sleep. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:50am
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My MIL tried to tell us that Daniel didn't need long sleeps during the day and that 30-45mins at a time was sufficient. Plunket said that's a load of crap because he's till only a young bubba.
Daniels problem was that he would sleep for one sleep cycle (which is about 40-50mins) and then wake up rather than continue into the next cycle.. Since getting him to sleep for longer period during the day (he usually does 3 2hr sleeps now) he's soo much more happier, less grizzly and grumpy and feeds better. This is what we did: Make sure he's full, put him down awake, drowsy is fine, but awake is also fine, tuck him in, close the curtains, turn on some white noise or radio static and say something like go nite nite, or sleepy time now and then leave the room. Let him cry for 5 mins and then go in and say shhh its alright.. rock the cot (we have a book under one end so we can do this, its way easier with a basinette) and as soon as there is a break in the crys you leave again (even if he starts as soon as you are gone). Wait for 10 mins and go in and do the same. And keep doing that at 10 min intervals. Then if he wakes up after a short time you start that process again, without picking him up from his bed as that just says that its ok to be awake. We have a rule that Daniel has to stay in his bed for 2hrs. After 2hrs if he wakes then he can get up. The first time of doing this it took a good hour or so for him to learn to go to sleep, then that time has now reduced generally to about 5 mins, I don't usually need to go into him now.. he just has a little cry and then is off to sleep by himself and then he wakes up with a big smile when he sees me. It's up to you if you want to try and get him to sleep longer in the day or not though. But this has worked brilliantly for us, we have a much happier baby 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:09pm
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Yeah I think sometimes 45mins is enough (if he wakes up smiley and happy) but when he is screaming there is obviously something wrong.
I do put him down to sleep awake in his bassinette and he settles himself, sometimes with a few minutes of grizzling first. The trouble is when he wakes after a cycle or sometimes after only 30mins I can't resettle him. The only thing I haven't tried is letting him cry it out. I will let him grizzle but if he starts full blown crying I don't leave him as I don't think its right when they are this young. I can usually get him to stop crying quite quickly by holding him and rocking but can't get him to go back to sleep, and if I put him back down he goes mental straight away. Sometimes he will fall asleep in my arms but will usually only be for another 10mins as he has got hungry. I will give the white noise a try. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:28pm
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I'm so going to try that routine Stacey. At the moment I have to spend about 10 mins rocking her bassinet, which can be quite hard with Jack running around screaming.
click on the ticker of a ticker you like and it will take you to that website. Follow the instructions to make one and then get the second code down that they give you. Go to profile at the top of the page once you get into forums (not the profile on the right hand side). Copy the code and paste it into the signature box. Make sure the box that says show signature is ticked. |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:49pm
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Heres some info my midwife gave me to help settle James when he was younger pretty much the same as what Stacy has described.
Settling Babies Here are some suggestions to help: * Feed baby regularly throughout the day, between 2 to 4 hourly. Take the time of the feed from the beginning of the feed. * Make sure every feed is a full feed. If baby falls asleep wake him/her to finis the feed. * Laying baby on a rug on the floor is one effective way of waking baby. * Around 5-10 minutes is as long as should be spent on winding baby. Settling to bed awake * Change nappy at the end of the feed to help waken baby and so the baby can learn to go to sleep on its own. * Try to have baby back in bed within 1-11/2 hours from the time baby got up. * Wrap baby firmly in a cuddle rug e.g a muslin wrap. * Always put baby to bed awake. Leave to settle and if baby starts crying wait 2-3 min, then comfort baby by tucking down again. * Wait 4-5 min then comfort and tuck down again. * Wait 6-7 min , repeat as above. * Wait 8-10 min, repeat as above. * this is usually over a period of 30 minutes. * If there is a quiet period of time after tucking baby down start the routine from the beginning. If baby hasn't gone to sleep * Feed the baby if it is 2 hours since the last feed. * Take a walk in the pram or front pack. * Take nappies of and lie baby on the floor for a while. BE CONSISTENT AND BABY WILL LEARN THIS BEHAVIOUR IN 5-7 DAYS ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:59pm
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cool advice. We have the opposite problem. tom will sleep really well during the day but every second night he screams and screams when we put him down. It really upsets me and I end up crying (way to go mum!!!)
Will try some of these tips. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:18pm
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Hi, thanks alot everyone, definately have a few new things to try. Can't understand how he can settle down for first bit of sleep or for night sleep but won't resettle during the day. I have heard him resettle himself at night so he is definately capable of doing it.
I find if he is messing around with his feed that changing his nappy normally wakes him up enough so he can take the rest. Hey nzpiper, I cried tons in that first few weeks, is just baby blues mixed with exhaustion. Will definately get easier, remember you and baby have only just met, takes a while to get into the swing of things. I found laying baby chest to chest was a really good way to settle him, sometimes they just get over stimulated in the day and then find it really hard to switch off and a bit of skin to skin can really help. Good for dad to do if the smell of booby food gets to him too much, and is also a good excuse for you to have some time out. |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 7:55pm
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Hey jaz and danni-chick, how young can you start those routines from? My girls nearly three weeks, and i never let her cry.. could turn out to be a problem..?? ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:22pm
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Two of the books I have say that if you leave a baby to cry before 6 months they don't learn to wait a bit longer or to go to sleep they just learn that no one is there for them. I personally think that until they are old enough to be trying it on that you shouldn't leave them to cry. They are far too young to understand, they will not become spoilt and there has been a lot of research done that shows that a baby that is left to cry ends up crying more not less.
Sorry if that conflicts with what anyone else thinks, is just my feelings on it. Also a sleep seminar I went to with the author of save our sleep said that the controlled crying method can teach some babies that if they cry for long enough someone will turn up. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:31pm
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My opinion on the crying thing is that it depends on what the cry is about.
I do not believe there is any harm in letting a baby cry for short periods of time. That depends on the type of cry though. If it's an obvious very distressed cry then of course they need comforting. If it's just a tired cry there is no harm in it. Daniel for example has a very recognisable cry that he makes as he's tired and trying to go to sleep (its actually really really cute sounding) and I'll let him cry him self off to sleep with that cry. The thing is that if a little bit of crying teaches a baby how to go to sleep and stay asleep for a nice length of time that does them a lot better than being run to as soon as they cry because then they aren't getting sleep and mum gets frustrated which also does the baby no good.. it is very tiring on mum to not have a baby that sleeps well and knows how to settle themselves etc (I know from personal experience). And since using controlled crying (as I posted earlier) Daniel is much less grizzly and much happier than when we were responding to every cry. But if he gives out a cry that is distressed I will respond and he knows that. |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:35pm
I personally wouldn't leave a three week old to cry either. Most of the advise I've had says not to use controlled crying until they are three months but the Plunket nurse today suggested he was old enough to get into a routine if that is what I choose to do. When I put DS down awake but tired and he lies there for about half an hour looking at his mobile. Then he may grizzle a bit and fall asleep. Often I go an check on him to find he is awake, smiling and babbling at his mobile or just looking around the room. If the grizzle turns into a cry I either pat him or get him up. Sometimes its wind and it comes up as soon as I pick him up. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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LilAngel4Me wrote:Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:35pm
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Yeah I let him grizzle himself to sleep, as that is very much different to crying like you say.
At the seminar she said that not all babies interpret it as if I cry longer someone will come, some interpret it the way your bub has and for those people it works. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:40pm
| Is definately good to get into a habit of putting them down to sleep awake if at all possible. He will always put himself to sleep which is really handy at night especially as he still wakes for one feed. Means I can feed him put him down and he settles himself and I'm able to climb back into bed straight away. Just a shame he doesn't resettle himself during the day, but still I have a fairly decent nights sleep so can normally take what he throws at me during the day. |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 03 September 2007 at 9:31pm
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My midwife got me doing it when James was 4 weeks old I think must of the time he would settle himself in the first 3mins anyway so I didn't feel that the first time it took awhile but my midwife stayed with till he went to sleep and he slept for 4hours when he had only be sleeping an hour at the most day and night. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 04 September 2007 at 1:28pm
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my midwife made me let jack cio at 3 weeks! I didn't know any better so i sat there and she wouldn't let me go in. He did have a good sleep but I never did it again.
I don't think even controlled crying is going to work with Caprece cos she really screams there is no grizzling and I'm not going to leave her to scream. I guess its back to the rocking the bassinet 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 September 2007 at 8:00pm
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Today has been much better no early evening grumps. I have done what you suggested Jaz and put him down for some time out in a non stimulating environment. So have gone back to putting him down at first yawn and letting him lay awake for the 30mins or so, he then fell asleep for the one cycle as per norm but woke up happy.
He was awake for 3 hours this afternoon as we went to docs for 12 week check up and I gave him a top up before going but he then crashed out for 3 1/2 hours when we got home. Fingers crossed this will work again tomorrow. 
How long is it ok for bub to sleep in car seat? He had fallen asleep in it on way home so left him in it but wasn't expecting him to sleep for 3 1/2 hours. Do you think 3 1/2 hours is too long for them to be in a car seat for? -------------
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 04 September 2007 at 8:17pm
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It sounds like he caught up the sleep he missed in the morning. Most of our days are just like this. One big sleep after a lengthy awake time otherwise short bursts. My Plunket nurses child was the same which is why she suggested if they are happy let them stay up.
Car seats - if they sleep in them they can be slumped forward and close their airways. I find that if I take Caleb out of his carseat when we get home he usually wakes. If he hasn't slept much I leave him in it but keep him in the lounge where I can watch him. He doesn't wake grizzly after a sleep in the carseat, I just worry so check him often. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 04 September 2007 at 8:19pm
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is it a capsule carseat? if so they aren't really meant to be in them for more than 40 mins at a time (asleep or awake) because of the position it keeps them in.
No matter what type of carseat I personally wouldn't leave Daniel asleep in it if I wasn't driving. But that is just me |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 September 2007 at 8:38pm
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Cheers, it is a capsule. Will move him next time. I did have him in the lounge and I too was checking him often. Thought he was just gonna sleep his normal 30-40mins he has never slept that long in the day before. -------------
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 05 September 2007 at 8:06am
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