no time for sex

Hi Jaynie,

First thing: good on you for having two children. We have one and that's enough! So I want you to know that I admire you (Hopefully that makes you feel good)

The sex thing is hard. For me it was a mixture of massive(!) damage after Ferg's birth so I felt incredibly nervous, and or course feeling oh so tired- like you mention.
I think that sometimes we put pressure on ourselves about what is 'normal'- some couples talk about having sex several times a week, but for us it's not like that. Sometimes it can be a while, as you know, tiredness and time flies with little ones and then you realise it's been a while.
Things are getting better now though that Fergus is older, and I feel more confident again.
Do you do other things that are intimate too? Hold hands, kiss, massage, talk even.. all with no pressure for sex. I find this is really important.
DH and I are fine and dandy, and find that if we do little things like this, everything else follows in its own time.
I don't know if this was helpful in the least, but wanted you to know you aren't alone

It's good to know I'm not alone. I try not to leave DH out, he is actually really good with the kids, just prefers playing with them to 'looking after them' eg. bathing, feeding, etc. He comes home from work and just wants to sit down, this is when I would like a hand getting dinner etc. but he complains loudly if I ask him to do anything. I try to be organised so I can leave him alone but it doesn't always work.
We do other intimate stuff, we are always holding hands, kissing and hugging. If we are ever alone - hardly ever! - he immediately wants to head to bed while I am thinking about all I can get done while the kids are gone.
We do have a really good relationship, and normally talk everything over rather than argueing.

I just remembered what we used to do before I got pregnant with my last baby and we had this same issue. We set aside one night a week just for us, it worked well so I guess we can try that again.
Thanks for the encouragement and support