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SophieD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SophieD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 October 2011 at 10:11am
Unfortunately, Whirlwinds no one can make a decision about this except for you.

I agree with the others in that weight gain can change who you are (both physically and emotionally) and can mean that the person your DH was attracted to in the beginning isn't there anymore IYWIM?

You're right in that the first step (and probably the hardest) is making the decision to change. You have some fantastic advice from the girls above and it sounds like you are still making excuses as to how it won't work. It is hard to change and tbh I think you need to take your DH out of the equation, especially if he is not supportive. I don't mean leave him or anything, but let him make his own choices re dinner and you make yours! If ihe is a fussy eater, great for him, he can get his own dinner, you concentrate on what you want/need to eat etc

At the end of the day I think you need to make some hard choices, either way. If you are happy with yourself (mentally and physically) now then stand up and discuss that with your DH. If you are not happy, then make that choice and start working towards being happy.

I know it is not always easy, good luck :-)
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jazzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jazzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 October 2011 at 12:49pm
I deleted my previous posts as I said I thought you deserved better, but think my comments were taken the wrong way & I don't know your situation.

I really liked kebakat post, I think it was well said & so true & I know she has put the effort into getting where she is now.

A life style change is all it takes & you can do it at your own pace, like swap fizz for water then challenge yourself to drink more of it....& so on, & it wont take long till you consider the changes just a normal day.

For me when I am in the weight loss zone it is like a light goes off & I want to do it so the motivation is there. The weather plays a big part for me so I have noticed & these lighter, warmer days make me want to get moving.

The only real way to lose weight is to eat less & move more & there are lots of support groups out there & in here. At the end of the day you have to want to do it.. & you have to do it for you & no one else.

As for your DH if your weight bothers him that much then ask him to help you, he can cook his own meals or eat crap/takeaways out of the home. Go for walks together at night, but don't rely on him to do it for you or let him hold you back.

My DH hates to exercise, but loves to game, he bought us each the EA active2 set for the PS3 & every day we both do it, he is so focused & has lost weight, we both have & we are having fun.

It must be hard working in the bakery but just think when you reach for that cream cake about how many calories there are in it & how many sit ups you will need to do to burn it off...then ask yourself is it worth it???

And most important just because you are over weight does not mean you can not wear nice clothes & look good & feel good & have pride in yourself & when you are ready to lose weight for what ever reason you will do it.
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HoneybunsMa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HoneybunsMa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2011 at 3:35pm
I agree the motivation has to come with in this is something that I am just starting to get... And what is helping me is that I am sick of feeling like this. My life changed when I had dd and some of it is good some bad. I have gained 20odd kg if not more since DP and I met so has he mind you lol. But we have times when we don't like ourselves therefore we dont like eachother.

I just recently joined the gym and while having trouble going as I have been busy and trying to fit it in round labour weekend and my exams and assignment and DP being busy at work and needing to pick him up and drive him to work (4hrs between shifts is not OK to be driving 20mins eachway) I now have DD in permanent care at the creche and she enjoys it so its something I can't deprive her off. So starting next week when I get back on the horse (can't this weekend because helping with garage sales and things limited to when I can go because of DD still having two hr sleeps in the arvo and her sleeps been REALLY disrupted so thats coming first) I will be going.

What really got me was I needed me time DP gets that he goes to work and goes out after sometimes I don't I'm losing my patience with DD because of it and I love the way that she sees me and screams hi mummy when I pick her up from creche.

I'm sick of feeling this way and sick of making excuses although I have put excuses in this post lol but they are health related ones not just excuses. I was on the phone to SIL last night and she was stressed, I had a lightbulb moment and realised that we do the same thing, put others before ourselves.

Our sex life has been next to nothing but then DP's barely home and when he is I'm asleep (he's a night worker) but I also blame the new contraception tool he found (ps3) lol. I know that once I get moving more my energy levels are going to be up I'm going to be feeling better about myself and I am going to be looking after myself and putting myself first for a couple of hours a week. When we feel rubbish about ourselves we so often feel rubbish about other people and project our feelings on to them.

Also having worked stupid hours I know what you mean about getting up early, one of the reasons I don't work early hours aside from I don't work lol. I used to get migraines daily when I started early so I knew for my health I had to stop. It's hard to give up something when you enjoy it so. I did find being tired after work made me not want to do something, but then think of it this way, you have the energy to go out to dinner, go for drinks, go to a movie how about using that energy to go for a run, find a class you enjoy whether its dance, or a beading class whatever takes your fancy, once you start doing it you will be happy, therefore making more of an effort and your whole life will be happier for it.

Oh and I do food shopping round here so unless I want it it doesn't end up in our shopping lol. So there are no lollies, or chocolate I do buy chips I dunno why though. So it makes it harder when you have that craving for something which is not a bad thing! Start carrying a bottle of water round with you, have it next to you all the time and you'll soon start drinking more


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buzylizy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote buzylizy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2011 at 1:28pm
I'm probably not going to have anymore friends left after this post.

Stop being the victim and take some action.
If keeping your man is not motivation enough to change your life then what is?
I am not saying that weight is the only issue but if there is another he won't admit to it for as long as he can use the weight as an excuse.

You cannot change a person...cheaters will cheat again, unromantics won't suddenly start buying flowers and slobs will stay slobs...Ask him what he needs to help you in the house and give it to him so that he has no excuse. If he wants to pick the job let him do it, if he wants to pick the time let him. Stop being his mother and be his partner and that means getting together and figuring the workload out, not telling him what to do and when.

Oh and guys will always pick takeaways as food choice. Always. It is you who shouldn't be swayed. If he loves meat and veg...get him a gas griller and make him a deal...you will do the veges if he grills the meat. Healthy and real quick and easy to clean. Salads and stir fries take minutes. Grilled veges in the oven is just as little work.
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Evelyn4409 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Evelyn4409 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2011 at 2:42pm
Couldnt have said it better myself buzylizy.
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