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denny25 
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 Topic: The time has finally come...
Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:22pm |
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Ok, i think the time has finally come to admit defeat and wean Ava from breast to formula. Our breastfeeding issues are getting worse to the point where she eats for 3-4 mins then pulls off screaming hysterically and refuses any more, OR stays on the breast for 15-20mins total with 2mins or so of active sucking only and the rest of the time snoozing, pulling and tugging at my breast (they are so sore and purple) or flutter sucking.
Ive tried doctors, peadiatricians, lactation consultants, Plunket, etc etc. Noone can help. They dont know why she wont eat properly - they have said reflux, milk allergy, thrush, slow let down, fast let down etc etc. Ive tried expressing, compression, different positions, breastfeeding pillows, feeding her when she is sleepy, everything you can think of. She has only gained 20grams in 6 days. That is so bad. And she isnt emptying my breasts and i have sore lumps in one. Thats bad too!
I feel really sad about this because on the very very odd occasion she has fed well i really like breastfeeding her. :(
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Bizzy
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:26pm |
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thats a shame! you didnt say wether you tried la leche league?
sorry i dont know how old your daughter is even.
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Snappy
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:30pm |
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I think you should give yourself a pat on the back, you have tried absolutely everything.
I went through this with my first born, and really missed breastfeeding her at the beginning, but slowly got used to it, and once she got used to it our house was a much happier place to be in!
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Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.
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denny25
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:30pm |
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Hey Bizzy - yep ive tried La Leche, they suggested a fast let down which i tried expressing for and different positions.
Ava is just over 2 months old.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:35pm |
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well done then!
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kakapo
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:48pm |
 Denny - you've done really well and Ava has had a great start in life. Two months BFing is an amazing effort considering what you've been through. She'll have loads of immunity from your BM and will no doubt thrive on formula. And hopefully both Mum and bubs will both be happier and start enjoying each others company more  .
I tried to BF Jimmy for 12 weeks before admitting defeat and at the time felt incredibly guilty and disappointed in myself for not being able to do something that seemed so natural to all the other Mums in my coffee group. But switching to formula meant Jimmy could finally establish a better feed-play-sleep routine, feeds became stress free and enjoyable and we bonded much more from then on. And he has certainly thrived since being on formula.
BTW - did you find out if Ava definitely does have thrush on her tounge? Because if so, she'll still find it painful to suck on a bottle teat - so the sooner you can treat it the better. I hope she takes to the bottle well for you.
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denny25
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:33pm |
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Hey Anna
the dr took a swab of the white coating on her tounge today so i should get the results back in a couple of days.
She drunk 80mls of formula tonight (after a bit of resistance).
I was just saying to my partner today that i feel so guilty because i have been focussing so much on the feeding issues that i havent had the time or energy to establish a proper routine for her and play time today especially was non-existent because of all of the feeding dramas.
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LittleBug
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:33pm |
Sounds exactly like what Chloe and I went through At least you did your best and you got her through the most important first two months.
I was finally able to enjoy Chloe after we stopped BF, as she was able to get into a better feeding and sleeping routine, and we were both a lot happier with knowing what to expect. I think I really struggled to bond with her until then, I mean of course I loved her... but I enjoyed being with her a lot more after that.
Hugs again, it's not an easy decision I know - especially after trying so hard. I think you've done awesomely.
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Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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jaycee
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 8:19am |
You have done really well to get through 2 months with all your troubles. I managed 4 weeks with Amy and 6 weeks with Sophie and although I was outwardly OK with stopping BF I still have the odd moment when I feel like I sould have tried harded, HOWEVER - it was a good decision for us all. Once I switched to FF both of them thrived and are such happy healthy children now. If you continue to snuggle Ava whilst feeding it can be as close (or IMO closer) than BF - less stress and pain on you both can make it a really special time.
Here's hoping that it is all good from now for the 3 of you - don't forget that DH can get involved and it can be really nice for Dads to get involved with feeding.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 8:25am |
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if she has thrush tho that could change lots of things, and if bub has it you could have it on your nipples too which could affect how she feeds...
if you are going to switch try and get as much info as poss re the diff formulas and poss problems, possibly check out the formula feeding thread on here too...
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emz
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 4:41pm |
Hi Denny, just wanted to say well done for giving it your best shot  I think that's all anyone can ask. I had to switch also, and I did find that because we'd had so many issues that when we got the boy onto formula (he was having EBM so already on the bottle but I had more time and energy for him with not expressing constantly) that I grew to love him. I'm quite open with the fact that I struggled to form any kind of motherly bond due to feeding issues, and I think that if it comes to the point where mum and/or baby are suffering, or the nurturing is suffering, then its time to make a change.
I hope Ava goes well with the transition 
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FionaO
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 8:16pm |
Denny, sounds like you really did try absolutely everything. I agree with everyone else.
Well done you.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 8:34pm |
Aww hun Im sorry I know how you feel! I had exactly the same problems with Caden, it got to the point where I would just cry out of frustration and exuastion and he would scream and it was just one big stressful mess for 4 weeks. You have done SO well lasting this long!
Pat yourself on the back and know that you did your best to breastfeed, thats what I did, my midwife told me I did really well and my stopping breatfeeding wasnt for lack of trying!
Breastfeeding is hard work at the bes of times, so you have done really well hun!
Also, Caden was only gaining 20-40g in a week aswell, once he was on formula he gained 200g in 2 days!
Happy Baby = Happy Mummy and Happy Mummy = Happy Baby!!
ETA-Oh and what Bizzy said- Have a read of the formula thread! I would recommend trying S26 Newborn to start with, this is the only one that agree's with caden and I have heard a lot of good things about it
When I started Caden on formula he had 100mls every 3 hours.
Edited by Sheza
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busymum
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 9:06pm |
That sounds like such an ordeal!! Does she drink EBM (expressed milk) from a bottle? If not then I think thrush or tongue-tie might be her issue because she will effectively be refusing all feeds - of every type.
I hope you find a happy solution for you both, soon
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denny25
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Posted: 13 November 2008 at 7:40pm |
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hey busymum - she does drink from a bottle so it must be something to do with my flow? who knows! Ive stressed so much trying to figure out what it was that was making her so hysterical.
Sheza - i tried Karicare 1 formula yesterday and today and she seems OK on it. Is it bad to switch formulas?
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kakapo
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Posted: 13 November 2008 at 8:16pm |
If you've found a formula she seems OK with I'd stick with it probably.
Jimmy started out on Karicare and we stayed with it for two or three months when they then changed the formula mixture slightly. That seemed to make it more frothy, which gave him more wind, so I then tried him on all the other formula brands. Some made him really constipated, others made his poos green, others made him even more windy and in the end we went back to Karicare as it seemed to affect him the least. Which is why I recommend staying with the brand that seems to work for Ava so far .
Oh, and if you want to express, its perfectly fine to give some bottles of EBM and other bottles of formula - Jimmy had both for his first 12 weeks of life. If you've already got a good milk supply it might be nice to express a few feeds per day for her (if you have the time and energy)? Just a thought.
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The time has finally come...
