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FionaO View Drop Down
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    Posted: 08 September 2009 at 2:26pm
Hi,

Ok so DS has been going through his stranger danger phase, normally he is shy at first but as long as the other person takes it slow he is fine after a few minutes.

Today I needed to go to a job interview so left him with a good friend, who he is fine with, she has a baby the same age and everytime this baby came near him he just lost it, screamed to the point of sobbing, apparently they played together briefly but most the time he needed cuddling.

He's like this at my coffee group too, will not go near them, yet at home just me and him, he plays alone quite happily, laughs and seems really fine.
Is this just a phase, is there anything I can do to help.

My other question is, I am going to return to work and wondering whether going to a daycare would help him or make him worse, he is not the most outgoing of babies (but also not crawling a lot yet, so can't escape if he needs to) so just don't know whether in home care or daycare would be best.

so confused.

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KitKat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KitKat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 10:29am
I completely relate..... Locks gets upset at other babies too (only particular ones though). Look forward to hearing what people think.
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rachndean View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rachndean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 1:09pm
Austin did this for about a month around the 9.5 month mark. He did get over it, and now loves all his friends at daycare

DD Savannah 18.01.04
DS Austin 04.09.08
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FionaO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 1:36pm
thanks rachndean, today was just as bad and as he had just got up from a nap I know he wasn't tired, he wasn't hungry and he just sobbed if this baby girl came near him, and she is so keen to play.

We had them both in the car and he just sobbed looking at her - its driving me nuts, but I can't give in as otherwise i'd never go out!!

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Georgiegirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Georgiegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 5:23pm
Oh that must be hard.... My friends little boy loves me to bits and I get nothing but smiles, but everytime DH goes near him his lip goes out and he gets really upset... Poor DH is worried our baby will feel the same.



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FionaO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 5:33pm
Of all the people to take against, its my closest friends child - typical, haven't seen any other babies since this started to know if its just her.

It may be that even though they are the same age, she is crawling and climbing and standing and confident about getting round and Ds is just comando crawling so still gets stuck.

Still not giving in tomorrow we are all going to the park and then her mum and me to the cafe, see how we get on.

I just hope its a phase, he has been so good over the last few months, we've been away he's met loads of people and never reacted like this.

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FionaO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 5:36pm
Oh and georgie your Dh need not worry at all, I absolutely guarantee your baby will just love him, they always do!!

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crafty1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crafty1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2009 at 5:56pm
That is tricky. I think they say not to force the child into situations where they get stressed out but at the same time don't avoid what they are scared of. And don't save them from their fear as that reinforces it. Try spending small amounts of time with other babies and when you are there let him see that you like the baby and aren't scared but also don't force him to be too close. If he gets upset tell him it's ok and don't comfort him unless he gets really carried away.

I imagine daycare would probably not be great as he wouldn't get the amount of support needed and there are sooo many other kids. He would get over it, but you don't want the daycare thing to be stressful for him, the research on that is bad.


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