Gah- I’ve had enough!

Well,I think its better for their sakes as well as yours for them to have a sleep , so personally I think if you can find some way that makes her , the better for both of you ....
Sometimes she may be tired but tired signs can be hard to distinguish from hungry signs sometimes, some tired signs may include staring into space, getting grouchy ,etc etc.
When you put her down does her cry sound like its going to trail off ? or does it continue and get louder and louder ?
Babies have 2 sleep cycles, the light cycle, during which they can cry , wake , look around etc, and the deep sleep where they just, well, sleep , a lot of parents pick them up when they wake and cry during the light cycle , making it harder for them to get back to sleep .
As far as your fiance goes, Id ask him what his suggestions are, since your the one thats home with her , perhaps he could give you a suggestion of what to do , and if hes not willing to think of any , I would do what ever method works for YOU , since you are the one with her most, also , remember that any method takes a few tries to work , so once you make your mind up what one you want to do , stick to it for at least a week.
Babies may look like they are coping on limited sleep , but their body clocks aren't like ours , besides, when they have a sleep , its a good chance for you to have a break , something I think is really important, even if its just half an hour to watch tv and have time to yourself .

Edited by caitlynsmygirl

I guess I am curious about the reflux connection, as reflux babies tend to be hopeless sleepers, snackers and hard to be in a routine. How far did you go for treating the reflux? Babies that don't sleep during the day often sleep a good stretch at night as they are exhausted.

Oh and as to the next five years, 'this too shall pass'. One thing I can guarantee is that the issues that you have now will be replaced with something completely different, probably next by month.

As to you needing a break, does bubs sleep in the car or buggy? Do you both get out of the house, and visting other like-minded souls. I found that when it was all turning to custard was the one time I *really* needed to get me and DS out of the house for our own sanity.

know how you feel DS1 was the same drove me nuts, i went to a plunket family centre and they helped heaps.He never slept during the day from birth at 5 weeks got help and it's was hard on and off but he did it. He learnt how to sleep in his bed and not on the boob!

He slept during the day finally! and it was great. He's now 2.8 yrs and sleeps 3 hrs in the day and sleeps 10 -11 hrs at night. There is hope!
Explain to your DF that children need to learn how to sleep and it's our job to teach them good habits.
Good luck, hang in there

bexandantz wrote: Hey Kate!! Sorry Im not gunna be able to offer any help at all but just wanted to offer you a big hug hun... oh and a kick in the nuts to DF for daring to call you a bad mother. You are not a bad mother so don't ever let anyone call you one!!! Lotsa hugs hun!

well said Bex

I just wanted to add my sister's baby who I mentioned in my earlier post also had reflux and once treated was a much better sleeper ...

It does get better! Natalie wasn't nearly as able to stay up for long - she would be up for 60-90mins at that age, but then would only sleep for 30-45 mins. Sometimes it would take me 45mins just to get her to sleep, and then she'd be up again in half an hour

I do think you need some help (perhaps from plunket) in trying to get her to settle without being on someone, or by feeding to sleep - that way you might be able to try to re-settle when she wakes after one sleep cycle. It can be a pain - even now sometimes Natalie wakes after 45mins, but often if I go in and pat her bum/back for a few minutes, that's enough to send her back to sleep for another hour or so.

Alternatively, what about a sling/baby carrier/wrap? That way you can still do stuff while she's sleeping on you? (although I know it doesn't really constitute a 'break'!)

Natalie also used to have one of her day sleeps in the car while we were out doing stuff, so for me that was one less sleep I had to worry about.

One thing to remember is that although she might be happy being up for 8 hours, sleep is really important for growth - hopefully she's putting on weight ok? The more naps she has, the more she will want to nap, so you do start getting some reward for all your efforts.

Sorry, this is a bit rambly but overall, I would say - yes, go to plunket for help (although take their advice with a grain of salt!), and it honestly it will get better!

Also, visit the sleepstore website - they have heaps of good articles on age-relevant sleep info.

I totally understand where you are coming from.

Up until a few weeks ago Cody was only having 45min naps during the day from about 2 mths old. Some days he would have 3-4 of these and others just one . I often just curled up in bed with him and let him feed to sleep and either snoozed as well or carefully got out of bed. Also if I needed to get something down (still do it actually) and he wasn't going to sleep then I would just let him play in his cot for awhile. Sometimes it felt like all I did in the afternoons was trying to get him to sleep.

Once he turned 7 mths he started have 2-3 hr naps during the day. Which may be because he is going to playgroup once a week and DPs sisters a few mornings a week, so is getting worn out. Also he is busy figuring out how to crawl and is getting around a lot more on his tummy which would also be wearing him out.   Oh and he is eating a heap of solids.

So it will get better I promise. Shame on your DF saying that. How about he look after bubs for a day and see how he does.

Depending on where you are Mothercraft is also a wonderful option. I have heard so many fantastic stories from people who have taken their bubs there

http://www.waikatodhb.govt.nz/page/pageid/2145840353 Sorry I don't know how to add links!!

I too believe it is important for babies to sleep during the day, as sleeping is when they do most of their growing. However I know of a couple of people who's kids have stayed up all day since they were babies... and that's just the way they were

Good luck chick!!

I just read more of the other posts and maybe a nice week away for just you and your baby would be good.

I found the hardest thing for me was just having the confidence to follow my instincts was hard, and only possible in a supportive environment, with the occasional pat on the back from my girls dad.

Im not going to pass judgement on your DF but thats pretty low, can you mum help you out?

You are NOT a bad mother!!!!!

I've been lucky with C, he has been a reasonably good sleeper during the day despite reflux, but we have had periods where I've spent the day on the couch rocking/feeding him to sleep or he's spent all his naps in the capsule or Ergo!

Just wanted to say two things - one is do what you can to get her to sleep during the day. I used to put C in the Ergo and go to the mall and walk and walk and walk some afternoons!! I found the days that C wouldn't sleep much easier if we got out of the house.

Second, my friend's wee boy only had one nap a day for most of his first year. He was an early crawler/mover and was just way too nosey to want to sleep So you're not alone and your baby isn't the only one in the world who doesn't want naps in the day.