ElfsMum wrote:
Princess_Bubs wrote:
Second what you said Elf's mum - I'll take what ever I can get. As long as you have a healthy child who cares, It's the biggest blessing in the world  |
sorry it just really bugs me i have two wonderful boys but even if i didn't i get why people can be disappointed but i don't get why people are actually sad and distraught for months that they didn't get a particular sex.. it really makes me mad:(
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My daughter's stepmum thought all the way through her pregnancy that their 3rd was a girl,she had two boys who she adored,and she loves being the mum of boys,but she had always,since she was a little girl,seen herself having 2 boys then a girl...I can understand that,I've always seen myself with a girl, a boy and another girl(which I got) .
Then she was told at the scan that it looked like baby might be a boy,she took that "might" and pinned all her hopes on it being wrong,and baby infact being a girl, all through her pregnancy (which incidentally was when I was pregnant with Ty,our babies were born a week apart) she insisted,somewhat stubbornly,that baby was a girl.
To the point where admittedly I almost hoped she would be proven wrong.
She had baby a week later,a little boy,she said that while she was pushing she had a thought in her head "its another boy,and his name should be J**** "
I could see when I visited how much she loved him,but I could also see how disappointed she was that she didn't get the baby she had envisioned,and my heart broke for her,its not accepted in society to be disappointed when you don't get the gender you want,when there are so many couples just hoping for a baby full stop,its seen as ungrateful to be disappointed,but she didn't WANT to be disappointed,she just couldn't help how she felt.
14 weeks after he was born their son was diagnosed with Downs syndrome, and it added insult to injury, she no longer cared what gender her son was,she just wanted him to be ok ....those were some pretty dark times, she was pretty angry at the world, and felt doubly disappointed,first for not getting the girl she desired,and secondly for her son not being "normal ", she came out of that rut,the clouds lifted and I honestly don't know of many mothers who love their son as much as she does,the pride she takes in his smallest achievements,is beautiful.
BUT they are going to be trying for another baby soon,their last,and yes,she desperately hopes for a girl, and if its a boy,yes,she will be disappointed,even while her heart breaks with love for him.
And you know what? I will be praying that the baby is not only healthy, (and I know that will be their first prayer too) but that its a girl,I would love them to have a girl, they deserve it after everything they have been through,and besides, Caitlyn would love another sister.
As for being upset for months...I don't think anyone willingly chooses to feel that way,who would choose to feel upset? somethings you just can't help.
Edited by TheKelly