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Inlove28 
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Joined: 23 August 2009
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 Topic: Fears late in pregnancy
Posted: 23 November 2009 at 6:48pm |
As my due date gets closer I am starting to get more and more worries about the "what if's" I worry that something could be wrong with bubs at brith or I might lose too much blood etc etc all the things I know I shouldnt worry about and dont have too much control over.
Is this quite normal anyone else want to share their views and express how they are feeling or felt? Its hard to try and talk to your husband/partner as they arent the one carrying you know...... Also having so much time on my hands doesnt help 
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M2K
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Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 7:42pm |
I was the same, thinking about the what ifs... bit hard to sleep, I was also worried bout how I would cope with lack of sleep once bubs was born, but I think if you stay calm, baby picks up that and will be fairly calm also. (worked for me anyway)
All I thought at the time, was just to enjoy her as much as i can (even if she screams all night) as she will never be this small again, every second I have with her is precious, take the bad with the good, cos the good times (when baby starts smiling and starts chatting to you, those moments are so worth it!)
i had a few complications, after having a 10 pound 11 baby! was close to having blood transfusion but that hasn't put me off wanting to have another 
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 7:56pm |
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It's totally normal..i was so busy worrying bout pregnancy i didnt really worry about after or even labour so much which was lucky as I had the most medicated birth that ended in emergency c-section but a great medical team and brilliant back up mw so although he was apgar 3 when born he was 10 by 5 mins..
for me a different stages with both pregnancies I've had anxiety increase and I think it's mostly hormones..
my Dh was like just chill...lol until we were in the situation but it was great having him there to calm me and hold bubs till I could..so in short fears are normal but try to think of all the great things too:)
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 8:42pm |
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Yep normal, but just try to remember that the majority or babies are born with little or no complications and we live in a great place with a great health system so that even when things do go wrong it is normally handled extremely well and the outcomes are usually good. Even those with medicalised and intrusive births are around to tell the story and have great dramatic stories to tell their children when they are older.
I found sometimes that talking to my mw about these things was better than my DH, cos like you say men don't usually get some of our fears and how could they really they have no idea what the whole pregnancy thing is like.
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kakapo
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 8:42pm |
I remember waking up the morning after giving birth, glancing at the door to see who was walking into the room, seeing a baby sleeping in the crib between my bed and the door and thinking "OMG, there's a baby in the room ............... and it's OURS!" (and then wondered "What the hell happens next?"). If I had to describe the moment I felt complete loss of control, that would have to have been it. Weird really, as like you I'd been worrying about other "what ifs?" during my pregnancy.
One thing that helped me prepare for, and feel OK about, labour and birth was reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". It has heaps of positive birth stories and tips for getting through labour, trusting your body etc. Also talking with my midwife ... she banned me from Google searches lol, and was always willing to answer my questions, no matter how stupid I thought they were. Being a bit of a control freak, trying to accept that I wasn't going to be able to have complete control over the labour, birth, breastfeeding or bubs sleeping etc definitely helped me. It's not always easy to just "go with the flow", but something to keep in mind if you can. Actually, during labour I think my body ordered my mind to "just shut up" (which for once in my life it actually did) - sometimes avoiding thinking/analysing too much is helpful too!
All the best for the next few weeks  .
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 24 November 2009 at 1:19am |
Completely normal ...welcome to parenthood
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Inlove28
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Posted: 24 November 2009 at 4:07am |
haha thanks.... it is all so scary and ive been holding it together so well for the last 9 months! I suppose fear is never going to go away now even as they grow up 
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Bexee
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Posted: 24 November 2009 at 8:26am |
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I was terrified of giving birth and competely didn't believe the whole "trust your body" mentality. Infact my midwife had some poster about trusting and working with you body on her door, and every time I saw it I thought "what rubbish". But when I went into labour it was so true. After being so scared and then going in and finding out bubs was posterior, I went from 2cm - fully dialated in three hours and pushed him out in three minutes! I know much easier said than done, but try not to worry and enjoy the last days/weeks of being pregnant.
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HuntersMama
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Posted: 24 November 2009 at 7:21pm |
I think reality is setting in for me too and now I am actually thinking about giving birth in 10 weeks!! Time has gone so quickly. I am worried, but Im more excited and cant wait to meet my little man
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Babe
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Posted: 24 November 2009 at 7:30pm |
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I'm totally panicking over having a caesarean! Can't think much past that lol sorry but yes its normal to be abit concerned whether you've been through it not at all or 12 times. You can control your attitude and mindset but you can't control what baby does or doesn't do or how your body will respond in the end and for me thats abit nerveracking coz I hate people touching me and the idea of surgery makes me physically unwell at the best of times!!
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Fears late in pregnancy
