Berg19- Yeah I think the freaking out with the first pregnancy you keep is normal. I used to hope to have a miscarriage and I know how bad that sounds, when I was pregnant with my daughter. Though at other times I was really happy to have a baby on the way. When I freaked out the most I must say though, was when I was in labour and was suddenly like s**t, I don't want this baby to come yet. At least you realise the reality of the fact that a baby is hard work and that it is a big change to the life you have known. It's refreshing to see that you as pregnant teenager gets that, instead of those pregnant teenagers who try to get pregnant and deceive their partner by pretending to be on contraception and getting pregnant and just getting pregnant because they think babies are cute and it will fix everything or they just want something to love. I have met teenagers like that. And their Mum ends up raising their baby while they go out clubbing. So I think you are very mature and sensible.
This baby I am pregnant with now was totally planned and I still found myself freaking out, even though I have a child already. I was like, am I going to be able to handle a baby and a child, am I going to be a good Mum to them both. It is scary to me as it's been nearly 6 years since my daughter was a baby. But hopefully my experience with her as a baby, though it was so many years ago, helps and it comes natural. Also, I wonder how things will be having a partner around this time. Good I'm thinking. But with my daughter I was a single Mum, so got used to doing everything myself. So I'm hoping I can accept help from my partner and not try do everything myself.
I haven't read any of the other posts but the first one , I was 18 when I got pregnant to my boyfriend, I was in two minds , part of me wanted to keep the baby , the other half was too scared.
My boyfriend very adamently didn't want the baby , I gave in , thought having a termination was the easier option , it wasn't , but I learnt that the hard way .
The following year , I got pregnant again , I was using protection, but to be honest , I wasn't being careful , in a way I wanted to be pregnant, and this time I wanted to keep the baby , I got my wish , I kept the baby and shes now seven , and Im thankful everyday that I got another chance.
I live with my guilt over the termination every day , its my guilt and pain to live with , I don't think I will ever NOT think about it, especially since my daughters birthday is the 8th of June 2002 , and I had a termination on the 8th of June 2000 .
Im incredibly thankful , that unless there is medical reasons for it, I wont ever have to terminated again , because I just couldn't .
Im more sorry than anyone could ever imagine for terminating, but at the time , I was young, and selfish , I thought my life would be ruined , I hope that even if im not able to fully forgive myself, my baby at least will, so that when I die and go to heaven , I can meet my baby , and see with my own eyes, just how perfect they are , and hold them and love them as much as I should have done on earth , if Id only given them that chance .
This baby I am pregnant with now was totally planned and I still found myself freaking out, even though I have a child already. I was like, am I going to be able to handle a baby and a child, am I going to be a good Mum to them both. It is scary to me as it's been nearly 6 years since my daughter was a baby. But hopefully my experience with her as a baby, though it was so many years ago, helps and it comes natural. Also, I wonder how things will be having a partner around this time. Good I'm thinking. But with my daughter I was a single Mum, so got used to doing everything myself. So I'm hoping I can accept help from my partner and not try do everything myself.
I have a seven year gap between my daughter and son, when I had my daughter I was single, this time Im married , and imo its so much better doing it with someone ....and everything from 6 years ago will come rushing back to you when bubs is born
. i think, sh*t how am i going to cope with a baby? my life is never going to be the same, i won't be able to do anything i wanted to etc.. but maybe your right, maybe that is just normal thoughts of pregnancy, especially unplanned. I know that when this lil guy comes out i'll love him more than anything in the world, he will be my world, but i also know i'll miss my life - alot.
your life will change, for the better.
Being a mum is challenging , tiring, scary and nerve racking, but its also amazing, just amazing, the kind of thing you cant accurately put into words that will do it justice ...but you'll soon see .
Yeah.. i hate to say it but i tried some things in hope to misscarry. Now i just feel like a dick because of it, cause as u say, some people do everything they can to have a baby! Yeah i don't understand those girls that get pregnant on purpose, its just sad. They need a good lesson taught to them!! I know it will change for the better, it's just hard not to think i'll miss my life. but im glad i can accept that, not thinking oh yeah i can go on with my life, pawn my baby off on people. Im going to do the hard yards!! I mean it was me being irresponsible in the first place that made this baby, i have to deal with the consequences.
Im sure everything will come naturally with your second baby! and im sure ur'll be a great mum to your second I no i haven't had my baby yet, but the dad not being around and then coming in thinking he can tell me what to do with baby real grinds my gears! I think if hes not doing the hard yards he doesn't have a say. But i can imagine how much easier the whole thing will be with a partner around, just accept the help, and be grateful when he does try to help Geez i feel like im not making sense at all today!! maybe its to early in the morn for my baby brain
Berg19- Though it seems scary, doing it alone can be good too. I did it alone with my daughter and yeah at times I got stressed out, as you do. But I loved that I didn't have the bad relationship with her Dad to deal with and I liked that I had so much love to to give her, as I wasn't sharing it with anyone else. You can give your baby so much more love and attention, when it's just you and baby. And being that you do learn to cope on your own, when people do help you out, you really, really do appreciate their help so much more. And yeah it sucks when the Dad who isn't there for you thinks he knows best and tries to tell you how to do things. I was just like, whatever, I'm here for my baby 24/7, so I am the deciding party on everything.
"You can give your baby so much more love and attention, when it's just you and baby. And being that you do learn to cope on your own, when people do help you out, you really, really do appreciate their help so much more. And yeah it sucks when the Dad who isn't there for you thinks he knows best and tries to tell you how to do things. I was just like, whatever, I'm here for my baby 24/7, so I am the deciding party on everything."
...my son has just as much love and attention as my daughter got when it was only me ....
Im pretty lucky that my daughter's dad and I have always maintained a friendly relationship, he was never pushy , but i would listen to any suggestions , because he did make an effort, unlike some guys I know
This isn't my first pregnancy either, I commented in another forum when someone else was talking about terminating.
I terminated because I had just turned 17 and I ended up losing about 12kg in the first 10 weeks to morning sickness - that whole experience made me cry for the whole time I was pregnant because I thought it was torture but looking back now it wasn't. I had my termination over summer '08 at 10w2d and the morning I went in for it I cried because I didn't really want to get rid of it but I knew I couldn't keep it either. I always think about it and I think I should have kept it because I was being careless with my partner. I didn't know how easy it was to terminate a pregnancy... And all I gained from terminating was U.E. After it I felt very bad and guilty, now I am starting to move on and I realise now being pregnant again that I have to own up to my actions - hence why I kept this one. I always worry something will go wrong, but I've made a vow to be the best mum I can be no matter what.
I'm lucky I am still with my partner and that we have this opportunity with this baby. When I found out this time that I was pregnant I knew I was going to keep it and I felt kind of blessed that I had been given a second chance, I know life will change and it's going to be hard and all, but missing out on uni is nothing really because you can go at anytime but you can't always have a baby.
I live with my guilt over the termination every day , its my guilt and pain to live with , I don't think I will ever NOT think about it,
Im incredibly thankful , that unless there is medical reasons for it, I wont ever have to terminated again , because I just couldn't .
Im more sorry than anyone could ever imagine for terminating, but at the time , I was young, and selfish , I thought my life would be ruined , .
I can totally agree with that, while I am learning to move on, not a day goes by where I don't think about the son or daughter I could've had. I too thought my life would be ruined and it didn't help having my mum tell me "you have no choice" but I agreed so together we were selfish.
I know I would never terminate again either, unless there was a life threatning illness for the baby.
"You can give your baby so much more love and attention, when it's just you and baby. And being that you do learn to cope on your own, when people do help you out, you really, really do appreciate their help so much more. And yeah it sucks when the Dad who isn't there for you thinks he knows best and tries to tell you how to do things. I was just like, whatever, I'm here for my baby 24/7, so I am the deciding party on everything."
...my son has just as much love and attention as my daughter got when it was only me ....
Im pretty lucky that my daughter's dad and I have always maintained a friendly relationship, he was never pushy , but i would listen to any suggestions , because he did make an effort, unlike some guys I know
Yeah I get what you mean. I think I will love this baby just as much too. But I felt having that experience of having just my daughter to give all my love to, helped me be able to have the same love to give this baby. As my children are my first love always and everyone else I love comes after that. Even though they are just as important too. I was worried you might have thought I meant by my comment, that you can't love your baby as much when you have a partner, that is not what I was saying, just wanted to clear that up. I was just pointing out the positive of having all that love to share. I think it makes you more able to give that same love to any future children and always put them first.
I havent had a termination but I was faced with having to think about it when af was late when DS was 3 months old. I was separated from the ex-husband and had a 3 year old and there was no way I could have coped with another child. Luckily for me I never had to make that decision.
I didnt post to say that, I didnt want to read and run and I just wanted to say that reading what you have all shared touched me and I feel for the struggles you have with the decision you made. I hope that one day you all find some peace
This is very interesting reading!
I had a termination when I was a teenager, about 18 years ago. It was at about 10 weeks gestation.
It never bothered me that I had a termination, as I felt it was the right option at the time. Now that I am pg and I want this baby very much and am following it's progess keenly, I am starting to feel guilt about the termination. I realise better now how complete that baby was at this stage and how much it means to so many women who struggle to conceive. I still think if I had my time again, I would still terminate, but I wish I had not taken the decision so lightly. I do wonder how my child would have turned out and wish I could have explained my actions to them. I think now that this baby means more to me than if I had not had the termination
I had no idea either mizpix how much they develop in just a few weeks! I remember reading all the development the baby goes through each week when I found out I was preg this time, made me think about it a lot more.
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escadachic wrote:
I no i haven't had my baby yet, but the dad not being around and then coming in thinking he can tell me what to do with baby real grinds my gears! I think if hes not doing the hard yards he doesn't have a say. But i can imagine how much easier the whole thing will be with a partner around, just accept the help, and be grateful when he does try to help 
Angel March 2011 
