Seperation Anxiety

I am wondering if I might poll for some advice from you kind folk. Our son is normally a pretty happy little man, he is 18 months old now, and seems happy enough to be with me or his mother, grandparents and other peope he knows, but if we leave him with baby sitters, etc he won't have bar of it. We stayed at a fijian resort who had nannies there, and he wouldn't even consider it, just SCREAMED the entire time. We went snorkelling for about 2 hours and he screamed and cried for about 3/4 of that apparently. People won't look after him, which means we can't leave him at creches when my wife wants to go to the gym or anything.

We have a trip to hawaii in March, is there anything we can do to help this ?

Thanks in advance!

Not very helpful,but in my experience....time .
Seperation anxiety is a phase and like all phases it doesn't last forever,but its a nightmare for both the parent and child while it does.
My daughter hit this stage around 18months as well, after a few months she was over needing to be around me all the time.


a few things, don't introduce caregivers etc out of the blue, give him time to meet them a few times first if possible so they are not completely unfamiliar to him,and introduce new people,and places gradually, at 18months-2 years ,especially when they are the stage of wanting to talk but not quite being able to express it, too much change and new people can be overwhelming

and as tempting as it is, don't sneak away when he isn't looking,distraction works for a little while but eventually they will look for you and get even more distressed when you are no longer there,so have some sort of goodbye ritual, it will be hard esp if hes crying and clinging, but just be gentle and firm and consistent and make sure you tell him in terms that he will understand, when you will be back "eg mummy will be back at lunch " or "mummy is going to do exercise and will be back soon "

Another thing to take whenever he is being cared by someone not quite as familiar is a bag of special things he likes but doesn't get to play with much,so a sort of novelty, that can help distract him after you have said your goodbye,just tell the caregiver to let him explore the bag and play with what he wants

and remember that it wont last forever ,eventually he will learn that when you leave, you always come back...

Gabrielle was/still is like this. I don't have an issue dropping her off at daycare mostly but its places she hasn't been before or people she doesn't know very well. I have done lots at home with her to try and ease the anxiety - lots of telling her I am leaving the room and then going and doing something outside or down the hall so she got used to short separations. Also I have tried taking her with me to visit possible babysitters a few times before leaving her with them (ie going and stayng for an hour or so at their house with her and just being there while they interact with her). Then just leaving her for half an hour and building up to a few hours. This means I have a couple of people I can ask to baby sit her.

Really I think the only thing that improved her overall was time. She does tend to be a more shy clingy child anyway and the separation anxiety kinda comes and goes for no real reason that I can see.

One thing that helped me be a bit kinder to her about the whole thing (not that I was being harsh but sometimes it can be frustrating) was someone said to be that it must mean her and I bonded well. I looked it up on the net and this is what I found:

Separation anxiety usually begins at 9 to 10 months, peaks between 12 and 15 months, and can last until somewhere between 24 and 36 months. Separation anxiety emerges from the infant’s growing awareness of separateness from her parent. It is yet further testimony to the strength of the infant’s attachment.

So I felt a bit better about the whole thing when I read that. Hope it helps.