When to tell your family/Mum?

Hi everyone, wondering if you might have some advice for me ....

My husband and I live in Auckland and my family live down south. My brother and his wife have just had their first baby and next week we're going to visit for a week.

We'll be staying with my parents who I absolutely love. I'm only 5 weeks pregnant and am in two minds about telling my Mum.

Love love love my Mother but she and my Dad live in a small town, where not much goes on and she likes to gossip (even though she swears black and blue she doesn't). She can also be a bit selfish at times and is more like a friend than a stereotypical motherly type who always has my best interests at heart.

While I'd love to tell her I'm pregnant, I'm not convinced she would keep it to herself and I really dont want anyone knowing we're pregnant at the moment ...

What would you do??   

Thx Febgirl - we have first appt with the mw at 8 weeks, when we'll get bloods and scan done. I think we'll wait until after this before I tell Mum

First 2 pregnancies I didn't tell anyone 'cause I wanted to wait until 12 weeks and surprise everyone. But sadly twice at 12 weeks I had to tell them that things had gone wrong, since I needed their support so it was a bit pointless keeping it quiet in the first place. This time I told family at 8 weeks since they know we've been trying, and this way so we can all have a few weeks of excitement even if it goes wrong again. Work people and friends I'll be telling after my 12 weeks scan.

Hi Pants, my parents live down South, too. DH and I couldn't contain ourselves and broke the news over the phone a couple hours after I got a BFP on a POAS. I suspect she has already told half the town despite me telling her not to, but I don't care too much. I don't live there anymore so if we run into problems, they can gossip all they want and it won't matter to me.

With my first pg I told my mum once I had seen the gp, was 4 weeks.

With the second pg we decided to wait until after the 13 week scan before we told anyone but some family things happened so we told DH family at 7 weeks and then I felt bad so told my mum at 8 weeks. I told her not tell anyone but she told my sister who got upset because I didnt tell her!

Next time we will keep it a surprise until the 13 week scan.

I'm not telling my parents until we get the 13 week scan, I'm planning on giving them a framed picture of lil' one as it will be their first grandchild.

Although I kind of feel stink as there's been people that I've had to tell about the pregnancy like my trainer, waxist etc. so it is getting a bit silly.

Thanks everyone ... is a tough call. Everyone else we'll wait until the 13 week scan. I think I'll tell a close friend next week who recently had a baby and also went through a miscarriage so would be great support if anything does go wrong.

As for Mum .... love her to bits, but I think I'll wait. For now at least.

We told my mum at 4 weeks, who then told my Dad.. (which we were going to do in person anyway).
We didn't tell DP's parents until 9 weeks, they live in Nelson so wanted to tell them face to face.
We told our friends at 14 weeks, it got to the stage where we didn't feel like telling people (kept the excitement to ourselves), but it was only courteous to!

Peanut wrote: FIrst time we told parents etc at about 5-6 weeks and the same this time. I also told my HOD at around the same time. I am big on telling parents early as you def need the support if something goes wrong and it means you never have to expalin yourself or the way you are feeling. Even telling your Mum just before you leave so you are not there to "hear" if she tells people might be easier.

We're the same, we tell people before the second line of the stick has dried for the same reasons.

It is a personal though, maybe Peanut's idea is a good one!!!

It was abit hard to keep it a secret coz I started throwing up, fainting and having seizures lmao anyone that was round for my first preg would instantly suspect!
We told my parents at 6 weeks and made them promise to keep their mouths shut, my lil bro whos still at home figured it out which was fine, and I told my aunty coz I needed to be taken to a&e after I ruptured something in my throat after too much vomitting and everyone who already knew was out of the country. My bro and sis down in Invers still don't know I'm telling them when we get down there in a fortnight. I've had about 7 mcs since my son so it took us awhile to get excited but after 2 scans and numerous hearings of the heartbeat and hitting 14 weeks we're suddenly looking at each other going omg lol this is happening