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High9
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Topic: Studying after baby and working... Posted: 03 January 2011 at 11:03am |
Hi all!
I'm about to start studying after Waitangi day, I was going to be studying full time from 7th Feb until 28th Nov but recently found the course I was going to do is offered in 2 12 week block courses by correspondence so am now doing that. It's still full time and each 12 weeks is estimated 10 hours per credit which works out at 410 hours per 12 weeks!
Now that I've switched to correspondence, DP wants me to work, ideally full time but will settle for part time.
I will still be able to look after DD during the day, but just wondering what other people have done?
Have you studied, looked after a baby and worked?
I am worried I'll end up setting myself up to fail or it'll be too much...
I remember when I was studying last year pre baby they only recommended 10 hours working whilst studying full time.
Also the job would only be for the year because I'll be studying either nursing or midwifery next year full time...
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fire_engine
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 11:29am |
I'm a bit confused by the hours/weeks - are you having to study in between the block courses? And the block courses - if I've understood correctly, you'll be studying about 34 hours/week over each 12 week period? If so, I would probably tell your DP where to go.
The last 18 months, I've worked 3 days/week (while DS is in daycare) & studied about .75FTE and it's bloody hard work. If you can manage financially, I'd suggest starting the study then re-evaluate. If study is cruisy, then maybe look at a job. Just take one thing at a time cos yes, there is the risk that you will be setting yourself up too fail cos it's too much.
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High9
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 11:51am |
Yeah that last paragraph was my exact thinking!
It's 2 12 week courses, no study in between so from memory the dates were 7th feb - 29 april and then the next course picks up on 7th june until 28th Aug.
Each course is 41 credits.
I also have to squeeze in a first aid course somewhere too but I suppose, if I can qualify for a student allowance I'll do that and can always find something in Sept iygwim!
My DP just doesn't seem to understand it though, which I thought he would considering he studied all last year and he didn't have time for a job, once he came home from study he was pretty tired, plus he was gone from about 7-5 or 6 each day!
Don't know why he seems to think it'll be different for me!
Things are pretty tight atm as we lived off savings last year with both of us unemployed.
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fire_engine
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:05pm |
Dare I say that it's a bit of a man thing. It would be hard to get a job given that you'll be absent for 3 months, twice in the year.
The other thing that he's probably not realising/appreciating is that you'll be a full time mum (which is more than a full time job) as well as working as well as studying.
definitely check out the student allowance situation. You might find that makes it workable.
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yingren
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:06pm |
I was studying part time when my daughter was 2 months old. When she was 7 months old I went back to full time study.
Things were going well, then about a month later I was in the parents room at uni expressing, when a lady yelled at me. Normally I would just yell back at her, but instead i burst into tears and ended up crying all the way home.
I took it as a sign that I couldn't handle everything I was trying to do, realised that I would rather stay at home with DD and the very next day I quit. That was 4 months ago and I've never looked back.
Quitting uni after three years of study was the best thing I have ever done. I have since started TWO home businesses (because one wasn't enough work?), which employ SAHPs nationwide. I am relaxed and happy, and get to spend more time with my daughter (although she now spends two days a week at day care so she can socialize while I work uninterrupted.
Think hard about your workload.
Unless your partner is going to do all the housewifely things (cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping etc), you'll still have to do them on top of work/study. Plus you need to spend good quality time with your daughter.
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T_Rex
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:19pm |
I'd say don't work, look at student allowance instead maybe.
Personally, I think trying to fit in 34 hours/week of study whilst taking care of DD sounds like hard work on it's own! And it'll only get harder as she gets more mobile and adventurous.
Perhaps if you have someone who could care for DD between study periods, you could pick up some seasonal work or temp work then?
(If you've been living off YOUR savings last year, surely you can live off HIS earnings this year  )
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Happy lady
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:21pm |
Sounds like you are going to over work yourself. Having a child and studying are 2 very full on jobs, let alone working at the same time. Take it easy and see if you can get some sort of allowance (like T_rex said)
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floss
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:44pm |
At the mo I am in my second year of ECE teaching, last year I was working 3 days a week, but this year as of the 10th I will be working full time.
I find that I do most of my work at night anyway as it is impossible to get anything done with my 3 kids around during the day.
I think the main thing that you can do is have really good time management, I tend to break each paper down into sections and do a little bit each night, then factor in at least one night a week you have off.
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Kalimirella
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 2:12pm |
I found doing part time online courses, last semester, with baby at home (especially as she started crawling near the end) is plenty hard enough.
As others have said, looking after a baby and the house is a fulltime job, then add studying and that is plenty of work.
Tell him to start studying as well as working and look after a baby all day and lets see how YOU do!!!
In general males seem to think if the course is by correspondence and you are therefore home all day, well you aren't doing anything are you?
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yingren
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 2:15pm |
The male way of thinking seems to be that it is easy to look after a baby, they don't do anything, all they do is sleep.
Oh to be a man!
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Anything Baby...because you'd do anything for your baby.
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MissCandice
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 3:10pm |
From Feb until June I worked 40 hours a week, as well as going to 5 classes a week. It killed me. It put untold stress on my relationship and I never got to see my daughter or partner.
From June until November I was doing 1 class a week, and it was SOOOO much easier.
I have just resigned from work as I am starting 1st year Midwifery this month.
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High9
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 3:28pm |
Alright that's made that decision then! Thanks!
Will look into the student allowance, I'd forgotten about it because last time I didn't qualify (pre baby).
ETA: I worked 2 jobs last year whilst studying full time, I was doing 7-9 hours on a sat, some casual work on a sunday and anywhere from 8-12 hours during the week (4 hours max a day) and I had virtually no spare time.
So that's why I wondered if it'd be too much...
I'm lucky for now DD does 2 good solid 2 hour naps during the day and DPs nana and poppa are still young enough but both pensioners and able to look after DD for me at the drop of a hat if need be (yay!)
Cleaning and housework I save for when DD goes to bed, house looks a tip during the day but I often clean something and DD messes it up again!
Am really looking forward to studying so fx I can do it! Will def not try juggle a job in there too!
Edited by Lil_Nic9
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Keleho
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 3:55pm |
I see youve made your decision already but wanted to add that I pretty much agree with what has been said. You will likely burn yourself out working on top of everything else or find that some other part of your life suffers, be that your study results, relationships or otherwise.
I study correspondence, am a SAHM to my 9mo DD, do all the housework and help my DH on the farm when I can. Often its the study that is last on the list behind which sucks as I then have to fit it in or catch up other times, usually the middle of the night when Id much prefer to sleep. Cant imagine what it would be like to add x amount of hours work into the mix too
Good luck
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Keleho
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 3:56pm |
ps - do you get WFF? Its really surprising how much you can get and that could help tied you over...worth chatting to winz too. I never knew how many benefits etc you could get until I looked into it
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 3:57pm |
the correspondence thing is the big trap that people fall into. correspondence study is the same as normal study except that you are studying at home instead of at uni. you need to treat it exactly the same as if you were studying at uni, with putting time aside to study etc. what about suggesting to dh that maybe you could do temp work between the block courses when you arent studying.
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High9
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 6:03pm |
Yeah, that's what I am worried he doesn't understand!
I have done some correspondence before, just 1 class and it was quite full on tbh!
Will look into WFF but recall us not qualifying for that last year, but things may have changed!
Late nights are fine if I do have to catch up on work, I often get next to nothing some nights with dd or sometimes I just can't sleep.
Will keep you all updated!
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ooEvaoo
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Posted: 04 January 2011 at 12:00am |
All the best Lil Nic. I definitely second what everyone has said on here, and think you've made the write decision. Studying and being a full time mum is very hard work and males tend to take it for granted. I've been studying full time for 3 years and it's been hard on our relationship at times. Just remind your man how he felt when studying...tiredness at the end of the day etc, and that you'll have to contend with that as well as being a mum and partner.
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High9
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Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:44am |
Yeah, he's lucky that I've picked up most of his parenting duties last year so he could have that valuable study time, etc, so here's hoping he picks up a bit for me!
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