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busybee 
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Joined: 29 January 2009
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 Topic: partner reserved
Posted: 09 July 2009 at 8:15am |
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Hi guys...I have a question about something. You might know that I had a mc a couple of months ago and now I am 6 weeks along and the scan was good...the thing is while I can't help getting excited about it my partner seems really resserved about it. He really wants a baby, that there is no doubt about (he is the one that started the baby talk). So I know he is trying to protect himself and perhaps me to a certain extent by not getting real excited, but I have a good feeling about it this time round...Do you guys have any idea on how I could draw him out a little more, or do you think I should give him space to come round to it when he is ready.
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Mum_mum
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Joined: 30 April 2008
Location: NZ
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Posted: 09 July 2009 at 8:30am |
Hi Busybee! Congrats on your pregnancy!
I too m/ced and this time round my husband was very reserved. he would tell me not to get too excited and that it wasn't garenteed and don't count your chickens before they hatch. It was hard for me not to get excited about this little thing growing and i knew deep down that everything was going to be fine.
It wasn't until DH saw the 12 week scan and a little actual baby formed that he started to get a lot more excited. Guys protect themselves and arent as open to emotion as us. DH is now very excited about baby coming (though he seems to think its all going to be a breeze  ) now he can see the bump growing and feel our little one kick him its a lot more real.
Your partner will ocme round and just wait till you see the amazement on his face with that 12 week scan!
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littlestar
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 09 July 2009 at 8:57am |
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Hi Busybee
Don't worry about it - its a guy thing. I think they sort of hold back to protect themselves \and their partners . He will have noticed you are more stressed out about this bub and probably doesn't want to add to that.
Like Hannahbil said - when they see the little face at the scan and feel the little kicks, he'll start to get really excited!!
Its just a matter of time - it probably best not to try and rush him into anything.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:35am |
Congrats busybee!
My DH was the same after our m/c, he didnt seem very interested in the pregnancy for the first few weeks and I felt like he didnt care, but in fact he did care, once i spoke to him he told me that he didnt want to get to "attached" incase something happened again.
When he saw the 12 week scan DVD he started to perk up and be more interested and then when he saw Caden at the 20 week and found out he was having a healthy son, he was over the moon and started to get really excited  especially when Caden kicked hehe
Just have a wee chat to him and you will probably find that he is just worried things will go bad again, men dont express their feelings very well at the best of times!
xox
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minik8e
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Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:50am |
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My DH was the same - he didn't want to get too attached in case something happened. And unfortunately it took a little bit longer than most other women for us - it wasn't until I started to feel kicks that he started to get interested, and then when HE could feel the kicks he really got excited, I guess because then it seems real, there's something for them to actually see???
Good luck though, I'm sure he'll come around as soon as he sees his little bub kicking around in there!!
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M2K
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Joined: 27 December 2008
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 09 July 2009 at 5:56pm |
Awww congrats! hope it goes well for you 
He probably felt he had to be the strong one last time and support you and maybe feels he still needs to be...
I was the one who felt like your hubbys did this pregnancy after what happened, my partner was excited told our families because I couldn't, and it was from being so scared! I was actually like that right up until I could feel her moving at 20weeks.
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Babe
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Posted: 10 July 2009 at 12:30pm |
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We've had mcs between Jake and this baby and DP wouldn't talk about it really til it was confirmed by bloods. He's happy but at the same time (hes sitting next to me so I just asked him) he doesn't really feel attached. Other than my MS theres no physical signs of a baby and TBH even I'm not attached yet!
My DPs advice is just be relaxed about it. Don't push him coz he'll find his own daddy groove, when the baby is more tangible to him y'know? My DP is really looking forward to our scan coz he'll be able to actually see the evidence of a baby.
Hugs xOx
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jazzy
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Joined: 16 January 2009
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Posted: 10 July 2009 at 1:56pm |
Congrats busybee, my DH was the same with DS1 as I had bleeding from the day the dr confirmed it, so he missed out on a few scans & appts due to fear. So let him go at his own pace, when he feels everything is going to be ok, he will be right there.
Enjoy & relax
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partner reserved
Angel baby - May 2008
