OK, I’m stuck. Please help!

Both, Rilla, although he's usually pretty good at going down for his first sleep. I've only really started having problems since he's started waking up after 45 mins.

Although today, things seem to have gone downhill to the point where getting him to sleep at all hasn't been happening! I've just got him down now, and have everything crossed that he manages a decent sleep, he's ridiculously tired.

I'm not sure about the feeding - I fill him up to the brim when he wakes up, and I'm pretty sure he's getting as much as he can fit. I don't seem to have any milk supply issues, I usually have plenty left after he's bloated. And he's putting on weight well. So all I could really do is feed less often, which puts me back in the same place 'how to get him to sleep'!

ETA that I really do see where you're coming from with that though, LuckyStar, and I think you're probably right that he's not drinking as much as he otherwise would because he's getting feeds inbetween. I'm just not sure how to stop that, given that I really want him to sleep, and don't seem to be able to manage it any other way.

I also thought I was pretty good on the tired signs thing - or at least, I can usually tell he's tired after about 50 mins, which is when I put him down. It works well in the mornings (bar today) when he's had the night to get some sleep, but as the day progresses and he gets more and more overtired from his short wee sleeps, he gets more and more grumpy to the point where you don't need much to tell he's tired as hell, but I struggle to get him to do anything about it!

Edited by Hopes

Sorry have decided to remove this post, as am pretty uncomfortable with being judged next to orphanages below.

Edited by luckystar

Might I suggest just as an FYI, some links to read about CC / CIO?

This one is a good start:

Sleep Training: A Review of Research

It is actually a very large compilation of many many well researched articles, books and other resources - a couple that I thought might be of particular interest:

Should baby soothe himself to sleep?

Breastfeeding, Night waking & Protection from SIDS


And yes, I know some may consider the titles emotive (and the content) - but it is just a bit of reading and I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone in any way

Aw Hopes, I feel for you. We went through a similar phase with Dan at 10 weeks and it was soooo hard.

My advice, and feel free to ignore it ...
- don't worry about him forming "bad" sleep routines. Babies don't learn sleep habits till 4 months +
- when they're under 3 months, my rule is do what you have to do. They're still getting used to the world. Yep, they are gradually becoming more aware of everything and they want to spend time with you, but that's exactly what they need
- is he in a cot, bassinet, hammock etc ... Something that can be lightly rocked can be awesome for tiding them through that 45 minute wake up. We didn't have a hammock then but we used the buggy and rocked it.
- despite what I said above about doing what you need to do, I probably wouldn't feed at that 45 minute mark (although I did do a top up before DS went to sleep so I knew he was OK), but would do pretty much anything else
- I also found it was normal for at least one of his 3 sleeps to be 45 minutes and usually only one sleep was 2-3 hours
- I wouldn't do CIO or CC at that age, and the fact that he is getting so hot and sweaty and therefore NOT settling (and you're finding it hard) suggests to me that it's not the right thing at this time. I tried it for one day on MILs advice and then gave up and for a number of reasons, I'm so pleased I did.

My other advice - when he's down, sit down and put your feet up. Sod housework and try and ignore the net. Have a warm drink and rest. You need it.

My final advice - feel free to ignore any of this advice

Edited by Flissty

Awww, what a cute little dude.

I don't have much advice....DS was a terrible sleeper during the day but luckily wasn't a grumpy baby to go with it. I fed to sleep for ages but then changed to drowsy but to be honest I still feed him to sleep on bad days. But the feeding to sleep didn't affect him self settling now as during the day he self settles almost every time.

Drowsy is fine, he will learn over time how to properly get himself to sleep, he just needs a bit of help at the moment and the thing that works is booby!

OMG I fed to sleep to erm, um about now hehe  Seriously, we BF to sleep every night up till about a year then she wouldn't go to sleep that way so we changed what we did to patting and cuddling. Now we BF before sleep and Clodagh is old enough IMO to put down drowsy and she usually settles herself off to sleep happily. No way hose would she have done that at your sons age.  Anyway, you do what works for you at the time. Don't let people, incl Plunket tell you otherwise. They're not there, living what you're living.

You're doing a good job Mama!

Edited by Emmecat

This is so hard and very frustrating. I used to get pretty stressed with DS's sleep. He used to get really grumpy with not sleeping well. Then all of a sudden, with me not doing anything different, he started self settleing and sleeping for 2 plus hrs at a time.  He has since broken again, so I am rocking to sleep or till he's drowsy (usually takes about 2-5 mins) for all his sleeps except his bedtime feed when he is usually so tired he falls asleep while feeding. Not the best, but works well for us. I have decided not to listen to anyone who tells me my supply isn't good enough and that what I am doing is wrong. This works for all of us and gives me a chance to have more cuddles . Will do something about it eventually, but at this stage am happy to do this.

Aww, what a sad little face!!

Hang in there Hopes! It's so hard to balance the "not creating bad habits" and the "omg, he just needs to sleep!" ideas! I think at the moment I'm falling on the side that he *needs* sleep to grow and develop, and once he's older and in a better routine you can start to work on anything that is a problem.

I tried loads of stuff for resettling after the one cycle and some things worked some days and then some others. I did lots of sling and sleeping on me naps, but that doesn't sound like it will work for you.   But I also found lots of walks in the stroller and the hammock really helped. Going back and rocking the stroller/bassinette/hammock before he woke. It seemed if he saw me he'd be more likely to wake though, so I had to be out of view which is why the hammock worked so well. I think I remember one of the girls from the November thread saying she'd lay down beside the bassinette to rock it or push up gently underneath to settle her baby.

Initially to get him to sleep when he was overtired, it was lots and lots of rocking, shushing, swaddling, white noise and a dark room. But it sucks when you spend an hour settling them for only a 20 minute nap.

But things definitely improve over time and I think the overtiredness part of it lessens as well.

What a gorgeous wee boy!

I don't have much more to offer except to say that do what works for you at the time. From about 4 to 8 months DS had all his sleeps in the buggy and had to be rocked to sleep. I was all cut up about it until I decided that at least he sleeps, who cares how and where! DD won't go to sleep without her dummy - I hate them, and I know you are not supposed to introduce them until a few weeks down the track. But again... it's working for us. As for CIO - I am not a fan, and although I've used it with my toddler, IMO at 3 months a baby isn't old enough to manipulate you and is just trying to communicate with you. That's just me though