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Joscia View Drop Down
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    Posted: 29 April 2009 at 5:22pm
Ok - so I have just been to see my back-up MW and I've come away with a not-so-good feeling about things.

Here are the facts:
- I really like my main MW - she seems great, we get on, she's pretty chilled, but seems like a nice, positive kind of person

- Today was the second time I've met her back up partner. The first time I met her I got an inkling that she wasn't quite what I was after, but today it really hit home. To be fair, she was out at a birth last night and had only had an hour's sleep so she wasn't on best form, but I found her to be really pushy and quite negative - which is what I'd got from her the first time too.

-I've had a really good pregnancy so far, and am feeling positive, excited and confident about the birth - I'm really looking forward to it.

-DH and I have invested a lot of time, effort, practice (and money) into learning hypnobirthing techniques in preparation - which I'm excited about using on the day.

-I'm worried that if, for some reason, my main MW is not available on the day and I get her back up, that she'll spoil all the hard work we've put into preparation and either bulldoze us into doing something we may not want, or we'll have to have a confrontation about it to get her to understand. NOT what I want to have to deal with.

SO: My question is, I guess, should I stick with my main MW and just hope she'll be the one there on the day, or should I try and find another MW who will be more supportive / understanding 'just in case'???

What would you do??

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fallen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fallen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2009 at 5:51pm
Have you tried discussing your concerns with your main midwife?

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Joscia View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Joscia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2009 at 6:01pm
Yeah - I will. She was out at a birth overnight as well - hence her back up filling in today - so I haven't had a chance to talk to her.

I was disappointed not to see her today as I'd spent the last few days putting together our birth plan and really wanted to discuss it with her as well.

I guess the thing that's worrying me is that there is no way of guaranteeing she'll be the one there on the day...
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lilfatty View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilfatty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2009 at 6:25pm
I would think it would be quite hard for you to find a mw this late in the picture.

I would talk to your midwife .. and on the day I would just get your partner to deal with the backup (if your main mw is not available), so that you can relax and concentrate on the birth you want.

He may have to "put the hard word on" .. but to be honest, thats his job!

My DH dealt with all of that .. I was just left to get on with the labour process I just ensured that he knew what I wanted on the day and he made it happen.
Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)

I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year LFs weight blog
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Bobbie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bobbie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2009 at 6:27pm
Definitely raise your concerns with your main MW. She should be able to advocate for you to her peer and make sure that you do get the birth you want if possible.

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