How long does it take to fall asleep?

I am trying to get my 1 yr old a little more independent with falling asleep. When she was around 5 months old I taught her to self-settle using very gradual methods, and she was great for a couple of months then started fighting going to sleep around the 8 month mark. And then around 11 months learnt to roll over and crawl around in bed instead of going to sleep . We got into a bit of a habit with rocking/cuddling her to sleep, which I now want to get her out of because (a) I have shoulder/neck issues which are getting worse as she gets bigger (b) she is starting to fight and wriggle when I rock her, and (c) she is starting in-home daycare soon and I think she will need to be a bit more independent with falling asleep there.

Anyway, basically what I am doing at the moment is cuddling and singing to her for a bit before I put her down, so she’s sleepy. She generally rolls over and springs straight back up when I put her in bed, and I leave her to it for a while – staying in the room but sitting away from the cot on a chair (and pretending to sleep myself). She generally mucks around, standing up, crawling, periodically lying down but getting straight back up again. Every 5-10 mins I lie her back down and tell her its time for sleeping etc, and eventually she gives up getting up (I normally have to restrain her a little first), and settles down and falls asleep (usually with me patting her a bit).

So we have made some progress, but I am wondering whether intervening and lying her back down is the right approach. The whole process takes ages (often 45 min to an hour), she doesn’t seem to be getting quicker at falling asleep, and its starting to feel like a bit of a battle. If I just leave her to it she mucks around, complaining periodically and 45 min later is still awake by which time she’s starting to get really overtired. So I was wondering how long other babies this age take to settle themselves off to sleep if left to their own devices? Given that she’s generally not really crying much, should I just leave her for an hour or more in the hope that eventually she’ll drop off by herself? I feel like I’m floundering around not really knowing what to do with her at the moment and I’d be interested to hear the thoughts/experiences of others who have the same problem of a baby who won’t stay still long enough to fall asleep!

DS has always been a shocker. He is always in bed at 7:30 but often not asleep until 9:30 or later. He doesn't get up or call out he just hangs out and sings or talks to himself. We figured he seems well rested in the morning and isn't causing trouble so it's not a problem as far as we are concerned. He is nearly five and there are no signs of improvment maybe school will tire him out.

I was exactly the same as a kid and am still a night owl. Some kids a re just like that.

Well I am NOT a night owl but apparently DS is

He has been screaming at bedtime (one week of no screaming, now it is back), however last night, instead of patting/shhsing/rocking to sleep, I went in, calmed him, left the door open and kept going in to check on him. He would not lie down (tried numerous times, would just spring back up), but eventually lay down and went to sleep - took an hour! The other night when he was TIRED, didn't scream at bedtime and had a good day nap, he STILL took an hour

On a rare, good night here, DD will be asleep within a few minutes but mostly it takes around an hour to settle her. I certainly takes longer on daycare days, I think because the nature of the beast is that she is overtired before we can get her to bed (and unless we don't feed her, we can't get her to bed any quicker). Thankfully she's now sleeping 10-hour stretches (a month ago 2 hours was a great sleep) so I don't mind quite so much that it takes ages to settle her - at least she stays asleep once you get her there!

If I am even a little bit out with my timing (and we go to bed at the same time almost every night), DD is near impossible to wind down. She will eventually, but man, it can be frustrating!!

Our strategy at the moment is bath/pjs/teeth, then BF then 1 story on my lap, then 3 stories with me sitting beside her cot (she's usually standing up pointing to/turning pages over the side), then lights out, and I sit there with her repeating her sleep phrase till either (a) she lies down and goes to sleep; or (b) she starts crying seriously (I let her grizzle a bit whilst comforting over the side, but real crying I pick her up). If she's going the upset route, then she gets walked/rocked to sleep, but man, I hear you on the HEAVY! Once she reaches the point where sleep is what she wants, rather than what she's fighting, she'll go back into the cot and stay asleep. Actually, the third option is to let her feed to sleep - sometimes that's just what she wants so I allow that too, she still sleeps fine. It's probably about an even 3-way split at the moment.

So no real advice, just that you aren't the only one spending an hour or two trying to convince your stubborn little mule to sleep at night!! My next plan is to keep a log for 3 weeks to see if it is actually getting better/shorter and see if I can pinpoint what's different about the nights she lies straight down to sleep.

Our girl can take up to 30 mins to go to sleep. I just read her stories kiss her pop into bed and leave her to it. So I have no real idea what she does, but sometimes we'll hear a giggle long after I leave. She seems to chat to her teddy for a while, part of winding down I think, as she's happy as.

IMO I think being in the room is really confusing for them. In toddler logic they go...."hmmm what does Mum want? Does she want me to play, sleep or what?? Oww what's Mum doing now? Shall I just sneak a peek, oww what can I do to get her attention." Plus I think it reenforces the messages that bed is a scary place where they can't be on their own, rather than a happy place for some quiet time with teddy.

I totally agree with Maya, good sleep cues so she learns, stories, singing, in bed (or whatever) - time to go to sleep, so sleep time is no suprise. Who cares if they play for a while before going to sleep - that's good thing! Pretty soon you can get some grown up time back and eventually anyone will be able to put her to bed - no worries about daycare.