How strict are you with your 1 year old?

Good question I am curious too, I let my two get into a bit of mischief and redirect rather than say no. Don't want bratty kids either but they just seem to little right now!

One will be playing with a toy and the other will come along and pinch it.... then they will cry and fight over toy. When can they be taught that its not good manners...

Edited by jules1980

i was really not strict with Ethan but he wasnt too bad and mostly listened though not to touching buttons and remotes etc.. and I am stricter with Liam and he has tantrums lol.. but also mostly listens..i think its partly temperament as well?

We didn't start time out till closer to 2 but it works for some earlier.. redirection is mostly the way to go when that young..at least i think so for my kids:)

As the others say i think with this age the thing is to make your life easier by eliminating the chance of having to discipline. So toddler proofing your house, if you don't want them playing with things then remove them, save yourself and them some tears. Any cupboards they should not be in should be locked (like chemicals/ medicines).

Then your biggest strategy i reckon is distraction. Sometimes you can get to them before they have even done it and then you can just take them away. But if they are already doing the thing you don't want, tell your baby no, explain why and then take them to a fun other activity or tickle them etc. Whatever will distract them.

I also think it's good to minimise saying no so it has more weight. Again that's about picking your battles and allowing them a lot of freedom to roam and explore your house safely but meaning no for the big things. Another phrase it is good to teach toddlers instead of no is 'be careful' - so if my boy is climbing on the sofa and right on the edge i don't say no, i say 'be careful' and go by him so if he falls i can catch him. Then your teaching them that they need to have a look at what they are doing.

I find my boy at the moment likes to get in trouble! He will go and do things he knows he shouldn't but waits and looks at me to check i'm looking and then laughs. He thinks it's great fun! He's really stubborn too, he likes to eat our jade plants outside and it's a mission for him to get there. I'll bring him all the way back inside and as soon as i put him down he'll be off back there again, looking behind to check that i am coming to get him again.

I use the distract, the OI, or no, and then thats not for little girls, take her over to her toys and show her things she CAN play with, saying these are Kiara's toys.

She is quite good at listening but like you say quite often heads straight towards something she KNOWS shes not allowed (the VCR) while checking to see if you are watching.

She also loves to throw tantrums if you take something off her that she wants, so its either divert to something appropriate or check what she has (ie this morning she was playing with a magnet and I wanted to check it was sturdy)and give it back. I also tend to give her a running commentary on whats happening, but with discipline (which means to teach btw :D) repeat the same phrase with key words said very clearly.

We just had locks on EVERYTHING at that age lol. That usually solved most problems :)

Timeout is our most effective tool for stopping bad behaviour but it didn't start working for us until the girls we 2 years old. Before that they didn't get it at all. I have always thought that if you want a child to behave a certain way in public and at friends houses then it's important to carry that on in your own home as well. We never let our kids climb all over the furniture or anything like that at home but your right sometimes you have to pick your battles.

I think distraction over discipline is a winner for at least the first two years. Saves you spending all day screaming no lol.

I'm not strict with my little boy either. I try and reserve no for when he bites me (usually teething) and throwing things at me or the tv. But even with throwing I find now if I say 'ta' and give it to him and put out my hand and say 'ta' he stops throwing and likes passing it back and forth.

I did one of those plunket PEPE courses and they said what a couple of the other girls have already mentioned, that when you say Don't do this or that they don't hear the 'don't' part so sounds like you are telling them to throw it etc.. so I try to now say what I want him to do. Like dinner time instead of don't throw it which usually gets a grin and more food on the floor I say 'in your mouth' and quite often he puts it in his mouth!

So yeah, I'm not bothering with timeout or anything like that at the moment, but I think perhaps it depends on your child and what you're comfortable with anyway.

I think at one its hard to be strict,and I would use praise more,eg "thankyou for bringing mummy her phone, good boy "
BUT at the same time,its important imo,that they learn early on you are the boss.
My friend's daughter was never taught that,always allowed to get away with everything,and now at nearly 5...she still thinks shes the boss. Not gonna do her any favours when she goes to school.

I'm sure my 8 mth old knows things and is testing me all the bloody time!!

Very valuable advice here girls some I intend to use.

 

Funny thing is I always had it in my head that when it came time to "show the way" I was determined not to use the word 'NO" as I didn't want it to be one of bubs first words....................well it is the most common used word!!!..............doh

 

And I have found the more I use "No" the bigger the smiles get  so will try some of these techniques of telling her what I want her to do instead and more redirection.  I have been doing the consistency thing.........which is damn hard sometimes after about 20 times!!