coping with a newborn and 2 year old

In January I'm due to give birth to my second child. At that stage, my older child will be two years and three months. My husband will take a couple of weeks off but after that I'll be on my own and I'm a bit apprehensive about how I'll cope with two little people at home.

Right now, I work part-time and my older child is in daycare two days a week and loves it.
I'd love to keep her in daycare for the two days when the new baby arrives but I'm not sure we can afford it.

Has anyone else been in position? Did you put your older child in daycare while at home with a baby?

Or if you didn't, what did you do? What worked and what didn't? What kept you sane? In hindsight, is there anything you would have done differently?

Would be grateful for any suggestions and tips!!

I have 2.5 years between my two, with the youngest now 4 months old. I was previously working fulltime and am now at home with both kids and no daycare, so its quite a big change for me!

We kept Milly in part time daycare until Isaac was about 6 weeks old I think, just to get through those early weeks. It was nice to have the breathing space but it actually became more of a hassle to do the pick ups and drop offs, and we also wanted to save some money so now I'm with both kids fulltime.

To start with I found it quite tough - a bit of a juggling act between the two, and to be honest I just wanted to spend some quality time with my new baby. But over those first few weeks I just got better at it - you get into a routine that suits you and pick up little ways that you can keep both kids happy and have quality time with both. Also my level of tolerance just went up over time. And now I'm loving it.

Of course it depends on your kids - Milly has always been a good kid and pretty easy to handle. Also she still has quite a long day sleep - this is our saviour! We've enrolled her in a couple of play group/activities during the week, and I agree with the double buggy comment - we got one off Trade Me and its fantastic. They love to help out so I try to involve her in whatever I'm doing - even if its just putting one piece of onion in the pan or splashing about in the sink she's pretty chuffed to be helping Mum.

So my advice is don't stress, just try it out and see what works, and give it some time. You can always change it up if it's not working. Don't commit to too much and stress yourself out, but do get some balance. And just give yourself a break, don't expect to "achieve" too much and just enjoy your kids.

My kids are 15 months apart, so a little less than yours will be, but I've definitely faced the daycare issue. My son was already in daycare two days a week, and I only had 14 weeks parental leave before he had to go back. I a) had no choice as I didn't want to lose his spot in an excellent creche b) wanted to give him some continuity, as he loves it there and c) thought it might make life a bit easier for me.

Best idea ever! He had the stability of creche when lots of other things were changing, he didn't have to leave and get used to it again, and I had a couple of days a week to enjoy my little girl (I missed having as much one-on-one time with her as I did with #1, so this was excellent) and have a lighter workload.

I have 22 months between DD1 and DD2 and found the gap great. #1 was still having a day sleep so I got a few months of occasionally getting them both to sleep - the quiet was blissful! Bummer DD1 dropped her day sleep not long after 2!
I was lucky DD2 was (and is) a great sleeper, albeit a cat napper, so it helped in the early days. I had special toys for DD1 to play with while I fed and we often read books while feeding too.
I found letting DD1 be involved helped too - getting her to grab the wipes or a nappy for me was useful and made her feel wanted. As much one on one for her from both mum and dad is good too - DH would take DD1 for daddy-daughter playtime on the farm which gave me a breather and a chance to catch up on housework or rest.

Things I found essential - double buggy (I have the P&T Verve with doubles kit - love!), a dummy (sometimes baby just had to wait, afterall a toddler can get in more trouble than an immobile baby but it stopped her getting too upset in the meantime), and frontpack/wrap (wish I had a better one in hindsight, would have used it more)

If it was me, Id keep #1 in daycare if possible - it gives them some normalsy (sp?) in amongst such a huge life change for them. It will also give you a break.

Above all, be kind to yourself, dont expect too much and accept help when offered (in fact, ask for help from those you feel comfortable asking)

Thanks everyone for you suggestions. Much appreciated. Sounds like daycare could be a good option when new baby arrives. Even if I do a couple of days a week for a couple of months, it sounds like a wise investment.

thanks odetteR. That's a great suggestion. Have made contact with some helpful playcentre mums and it looks like a good option for me.