Cry it out?!?! HELP Please

Hi all, I have a 6 1/2 month old and am really REALLY struggling with night sleeps (or lack there off!). Now I dont expect her to sleep throught the night, and I do want to meet the needs of my baby BUT it is getting to the point where I am getting up 8-10 times every night just to settle her. All she wants is to be picked up and have her dummy replaced and then back down she goes (try settle her in her cot but she gets more upset until I pick her up) - this happens almost every hour.

When she was younger she did sleep through, then it changed to being up once or twice for a feed, which was fine, but now she just cant seem to settle once she wakes in the night. During the day she can self settle fine and happily and has good day sleeps no problems.

I know she is waking and needing me to get her back to sleep, and the more I do it the more I feel I am re-inforcing the habit, but the times I have try let her cry it just gets worse and worse and louder and louder and its not a grizzle its a very angry "come pick me up" cry! I use white noise and it makes no difference. Im now thinking it might be time to let her go for it, but I hate the thought of it as know she wont give up easily.

Any advice or tips? or any success with CIO stories out there?

Hmmm it sounds like she is getting night and day mixed up maybe?

We used a mild version of CIO from when Fergus was maybe 3 weeks old. It might not be CIO, but unless something was wrong, we just leave him. You know when your child is tired crying, versus anything else.
Even now if he wakes during the night (VERY rare) we leave him. In fact he woke the other morning at 5.30 and I just closed our doors and let him nod back off to sleep.

For us we have a really clear bedtime routine. Have you got something like this?
What would happen if you just left her? Even if she really started crying then you just walk away, outside for 5 mins, another part of the house?
Do you want to try the CIO? I know there are lots of mums who think a baby crying if a no-no.

Firstly I guess think about what you feel comfortable with, and then slowly implement it?

Good luck!

Thanks for all the suggestions. She can sleep ok without a dummy during the day but needs it at night to settle. She does play with it and put in and out. I have tried to not use it so will keep not using it for her day sleeps and see how we go. She knows her day from night, introduced a nightime routine from when she was little, feed, bath, books, bed. She has two day sleeps of about 1.5-2hrs and maybe a short third sleep. So not too much really. I did try let her cry a bit last night (20mins), but was aweful, loud and very angry and she just kept up and then when I picked her up stopped (so I know it was for comfort). After that she kept waking every 1-2 hours. Iv read a lot, and the sleepstore too and might try controlled crying but I think it might make her more angry that she can hear me but I'm not picking her up and maybe just letting her cry without going in might be better? Either way it sux and is going to be so hard, but I know its for attention and comfort and as much as I love her I just can't keep this up every 1-2 hours a night (already been going on 7-8 weeks now). I'm just too exhausted and its not good for either of us! Thanks again for the ideas

Happy mum to be- it sounds like you are doing a fab job. As Lara said- it is just a stage, but going without sleep is really hard!
I like the suggestion of reassuring baby that you are there and not letting them cry for too long- that was what I was trying to say above, but Lara is better at it! (I'm a relatively new mum so still learning to differentiate between all these 'techniques'!)

Just wanted to send this message to remind you that you are doing a fab job- sometimes it's hard being a mum.

Are you able to have a wee break to re-charge your batteries? Maybe a coffee out without your baby?

My friends baby used to wake and scream when her dummy fell out so she taught her baby how to put his dummy in and has 4 in the cot next to him incase he knock them out of cot:) funny I know but it works. Also have a good check of the bed make sure the mattress is ok. Crying it out is very stressful for the baby (and you of course) new studies show that it is bad for bubs brain long term. 6 months is usually when separation enxiety can begin, why not pop your bub in bed with you. Who knows you might both have a great nights sleep. hang in there, maybe have someone stay over and get up to your bub for one night so you can have a decent sleep


Edited by nicole92401 - 29 January 2013 at 4:09pm

I dont think she is doing it for attention... I would go back to the basics on this one and when she wakes run through the check list, is she hungry, wet, uncomfortable. It has been very hot lately and she may just need a quick drink and a bum change.