bad dad- what would you do ?

If his name is on the birth certificate then you can claim child support, but it also gives him more control over you. For example, if you wanted to take Amelia overseas he could prevent you from leaving the country, and if he has bipolar disorder and is as erratic and changeable as you say he could do this just to be a prat, not because he wants to spend time with her.

If he is not taking medication then I would cut all ties and leave it up to him to make an application for access through the family courts. When and if this ever happens.

You could make a complaint to your phone provider if the messages or pxts are indecent. I feel sorry for this young girl he is with, but I'm sure she'll come to her senses sooner or later. It sounds like Amelia has a loving 'father' in her life right now and doesn't need the stress of an unbalanced biological father as well. Just my thoughts though, you need to make your own decisions here.

Cut ties and run - if he wants to be part of her life, he'll fight for it. He's had enough chances. Her pseudo-dad is doing a much better job than it sound like her bio dad would be doing for quite some time.

As a wife of a man who has a useless father, I often wish a lot of fathers were not on the scene rather than being sporadic with visits, getting kids hopes up etc.

I would just keep a contact number for his mother personally - if he wants contact with Amelia down the track, then his mother can easily pass a message onto you. She sounds like a bit of a b*tch but if her precious son wants something it sounds like she'd help him.

Honestly, no bio father is better than a half-assed one. My DH and all of his brothers are affected by their useless father - I always told DH if we broke up then I would want full involvement from him or none at all to try and stop the cycle.

I 100% agree with what elle said in earlier post, you have done SO much to keep contact with him and his mother (who, correct me if Im wrong, she didn't know you were pregnant with his child) he sounds like such an ar$e and he has messed you around non stop and will no doubt do the same to Amelia, she deserves so much more than that. You both do.

I would be fuming if I had got that response from his mum! Basically I read it as he is trying to do something with his life and dont bring him down.. so what he got a job (woopie).

Good luck to his new girlfriend with his up and down behaviour she will need it!!

I think its a good idea to keep the mothers contact details just in case Amelia asks questions as she has every right to know about her dad but I hope its not until she is a teenager and then will truely see what kind of person he is. Who knows she might not have any interest to actually meet him since she has such a loving mum with a great boyfriend

My partner has the opposite problem, his ex always used his son against him (you don't do as I say, you can't see your son games) and its not fair on the kid if the parent is the one to say they can or can't see their parent. He would be more involved but was never given the chance, always cut off unless he was running around after her.