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Rachael21 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: Ready to give him away
Posted: 10 August 2007 at 8:51pm |
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Jack is being impossible at the moment he keeps really hurting caprece (fork in the eye, remote thrown at her head, bites etc) and hes getting worse. I spend heaps of one on one time with him and give him time out when he hurts her but its just getting worse. He will run over and hit her if I say no or don't do what he wants but most of the time I can see this coming so I stop him. The rest of the time he will be sitting there nicely with her and then just lash out.
What can I do hes driving me insane.
and its not just Caprece at playgroup today he bit a wee 6 month old boy so hard on the nose it bled, I was so embarassed it was just lucky he has brothers so his mum understood.
He also has gone back to wanting to suck his dummy all day which is random cos he hasn't had it out of his bed since he was 10 months. Is it his age or because of Caprece?
TIA for anyone that can help
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Brenna
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Joined: 22 November 2006
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Posted: 10 August 2007 at 9:04pm |
Sorry I have no personal experience with toddlers, so no idea, but  . It sounds frustrationg
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 My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 10 August 2007 at 9:39pm |
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it is probably part age,and part new baby. I remember, and other mums might say the same, I got my first (and far worse than what we have now) taste of the terrible twos at 18 months and it was terrible. I think I find if I give lots of hugs and attention to whoever jake has hurt it snaps him out of it a bit as the acting out is an attention thing - it dosen't matter if its good attention or bad attention, as long as they get it seem to be their way of thinking. Also, I spend a lot of time doign the "gentle" and "dosen't that feel nice when mummy is gentle with you thing."
The tantrums are frustration on their part, as they can't tell youwhat they wnat/need/feel, so they lash out. Sucks.
The dummy? probably a comfort thing (like Jake and his bottle)
Good luck, chick, I'm not much help, but I have been there with the naughty thing.
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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busymum
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Posted: 10 August 2007 at 9:53pm |
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I think it's partly his age and mostly triggered by being 'dethroned' by Caprece. I think you're doing well to give him good positive time during the day but he needs to learn that this behaviour is unacceptable - and you're going to have to figure out what to do about disciplining him. The sooner you get boundaries in place, the better it will be. But remember that tantrums as Annie said are often caused by the child being unable to express himself, so it's good to sit with him and draw out his words - once the discipline and cool off time has occured probably.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 10 August 2007 at 10:42pm |
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in my experience i have found that older children tend to regress in diff ways when a new baby comes into the home.
I saw it with my step son - he was 6 when gabriel came home and he started wetting himself, playing and talking like a baby etc...he did the same when toby was born but worse and he was older then too... gabriel also regressed slightly tho. so i would say it is because of caprece.
I think that maybe not giving him time out when he hurts her might be giving him the wrong message, if he sees that it means you withdraw from him and spend more time with caprece comforting her he may not want to do it. Perhaps you could spend time with them both together showing him how to show affection. Gabriel used to slap and hit toby when he was first born and i think it was because he didnt know how to respond to the baby... kind of like how kids need to be taught how to play with the family pet etc...
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lizzle
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Posted: 11 August 2007 at 7:34am |
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I think Jake was the same age as Jack is, when Taine was born. and it is hard because they are really too small to understand what is going on. With jake, a lot of his behaviour was just curiosity. "what happens when i sit on this thing? oh, it screams and mum comes....coool"
Jake also went through biting and hitting, but he whacked random people in the street that walked too close to the pushchair. once he smacked a doctor on the butt - oh the shame. Daycare was actually fantastic with this and I fully think they helped stop it. They removed him immediately, said "we don't do that to our friends" and that was it. Jake would suddenly find himself not playing a nymore. He stopped soon after.
we duid teach jake how to touch Taine, rub rather than pat - pats tend to be a bit...vigourous, whereas rubs can't do that much harm. We taught him to rub taine's tummy or his back. we avoided the face for obvious reasons. We also talked about what a big grown up boy jake was and how helpful he was and stuff like that. he also had a few special things that only he could do, like swimming lessons. we had a lot of trouble with this especially as about three weeks after Taine was born, lewis went back to japan for two months, so that was tough, oh, OT. I'll shut up now!
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Ready to give him away