I'm not sure if it's any help to you jjands but Maya is a colossal tantrum thrower, and I used to get so frustrated with her but now we have a rule that when I say "go to your room", she has to stay there until she has calmed down and is able to participate in family life nicely. That way it's not "you must stay there for X amount of time" which can seem like forever, but it also gives her the power to decide when she wants to calm down. Sometimes she's like a boomerang and only needs 30 seconds in her room, other times she'll disappear in there and fall asleep. If she stays in there I do go in and try to talk about what's happened, but only if she's ready.
I have to say tho that it wasn't an instant cure. To start with she didn't get the concept and it took a few times before she realised that she had control over how long she stayed there and that all she had to do was calm down. And I anticipate that as she gets older she will start refusing to go to her room when she's sent there - not quite sure how I'm going to handle that one coz I suspect a cold shower would just enrage her more!
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
Well when DS was in his early three's and threw a tantrum and just would not \calm down...just like you are experiencing....we put him in the shower clothes and all a few times....this did not work and i felt so bad. He screamed even harder and it was very difficult to get him out of his clothes and into dry ones cause he was cold and still throwing the tantrum so it did not work for us also he remembers it and still says 'you wont give me a cold shower????" My poor baby.
Now we do pretty much the same as Emma. He is sent to his room untill he has control of himself and he can come out when he feels he is ready. We then have cuddles and talk about how he is feeling or we just leave it...It is up to him but he knows that that kind of behaviour is unnacceptable.
I hope you find something that works for you
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