I feel horrible

I feel like I am spending all my time growling at Ella lately. That or policing her so she doesn't hurt Ben or steal his toys or dummy.
I know that a lot of it is because she's still learning to share and doesn't understand that he can't play properly yet, it doesn't make it much less frustrating though, when I have to tell her the same thing 10 billion times a day.
I love her so so so very much, but I feel like our bond is more difficult now.
Of course I would still do anything for her, and she makes me laugh and want to squeeze her because she is just so cute, just as much as ever, but (I feel so guilty and sick just typing this) it is easier with Ben.
He's not deliberately naughty or disobedient, he doesn't throw tanties or backchat, he's happy sitting still and doesn't wake Ella up when I've just got her down for a nap...
How awful am I for feeling like this?!?!?
I know it will all change as he grows and starts talking and exercising his own will, but right now I feel like I favour him over Ella and I feel so guilty for it.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. I just needed to get that out of my head!

I don't have another child but I'm finding my Ella hard work too.. she can be very whingy and cries alot.. wakes us up every night by getting into our bed/calling out at night etc etc.. so I don't have much energy for her during the day Her non stop chatter drives me absolutely nuts some days. Right now she is in her room for a "rest" (doesn't sleep during the day anymore) because if I hear the word "mum-mum" one more time in the next half hour I'll scream! Vent over, but I know how you feel!

well if it helps i could have written that post! think we must be genetically engineered to protect and nurture our babies more. xanthe and i used to be great buddies, but now i have to work at making some time with jsut the 2 of us, and without me yelling at her for making a mess, or someother thing!

i hope it will pass, i dont know. but i jsut wanted you to know you are not alone in this!

for me i think it is because i have to share xanthe with everyone - dh, grandparents, kindy etc. but at the moment i am jordis's world, and i am savouring it as long as i can. she settles only for me, only i can feed her and nourish her, she smiles best for me. all those things make it harder to keep the relationship with the older one intact. of course we still love our other kids, i adore xanthe and am so proud of her, but there is something pure and innocent about watching a baby discover things for the first time, rather than listening to "why" for the billionth time!

dont worry, ben will start getting into things and you will want time out from BOTH of your kids equally

i put haleigh into ehr room when she gets to much she'll scream for a while then i hear her playing nicely, she calls to me when she wants out, i can do my housework then.
but then somedays it doesnt work, and she'll jsut scream hard otu the whole time. but she is teething though so she must be in pain to eb as bad as she ahs been.

(And give it about two years and we'll be saying the same about the little ones! Fingers crossed this 'phase' passes quickly!)

Oh, and in a couple of years when Kaia and Benjy are driving you nuts, I will have TWO of the little horrors! And I can just tell that impish lil Sienna of mine is going to be a real wench. I'm soooo looking forward to it *drips with sarcasm*