Coffee Catchup 25th March with Dorothy Waide

OHbaby! Coffee Catchup - Tauranga 25th March. Feel free to ask questions and Dorothy will reply when she can.

Thanks!

Hi Dorothy, thank you so much for making yourself available today. I'm the one with the 8 month old who had also been to your previous Tauranga talk, and had to leave early - apologies again! There were gems that I took away from your talk today that I probably heard last time, however didn't require them at the time as was pregnant so they didn't sink in. LOVED your advice on the morning boobs, will be trying that in the morning. Hopefully it will fit the 'three days to make it three days to break it' mantra...

I also wanted to ask you re Master 3-next-week - how do I get him to go to sleep at a decent hour?!?! I was apparently a night owl from a young age, and he appears to be following the same path. I've tried rewards, bribery, threats, cajoling, books, sitting on his bed and falling asleep myself... When he goes to sleep he sleeps through soundly until the next morning, around 7am. But won't actually go to sleep until 8 - 8.30 at night which is far too late in my books. Master 5 is in bed asleep by 6.30 / 7pm most nights (he goes hard and fast when he's awake then crashes) yet Master almost 3 just isn't interested. He tries every page out of the book of procrastination, and just won't settle until he finally crashes.

I have dropped his day sleep to either nothing or half an hour which doesn't seem to have made any difference. Other than that he gets really grouchy at preschool. He doesn't eat much sugar and has a very good wholesome diet. This behaviour started after Miss 8mths was born and is progressively getting worse and worse. I know it's linked but I just don't know what else to try.

I love him to bits, but I've got 3 littlies, a husband and a business to run, and after 8pm that's MY time and I'm getting soooo frustrated that he's encroaching on my alone time!

Can I pick your amazing brain as to what I should try next?

Thanks, Arna.

Hi Dorothy,

Thanks so much for yesterday, really enjoyed it :) My baby is 15 weeks, goes to bed at 8pm but still wakes for a feed at 4:30am. Last night I tried to settle him instead of feed him with no luck. He wouldn't stop crying! Once I feed him he went to sleep straight away and slept through till 8am. Do you think he is hungry? During the day he goes to sleep by himself.

Thanks,

Jill

Hi Dorothy,

Thanks so much for coming to Tauranga yesterday - your talk was really helpful. I've already put some of your advice into practice having successfully re-settled Eva during her morning nap! The cupping worked really well, better than back patting I think. And it did take 20 mins, just like you said!

My question is about reducing the amount of chemicals bubs is exposed to. You mentioned that instead of using conventional baby wipes you use some other sort of cloth and water. What is the brand of cloth? Do you throw them away or wash them afterwards? Also do you have any other recommendations for Eco-friendly brands (for shampoo, body wash, & laundry powder?)

Thanks again,
Alice

Hi Dorothy
Thanks so much for your time yesterday. It was my second time also (pregnant at the first) and I found it equally as interesting and was also great to hear other Mother's similar questions/dilemas.
With regards to my 8 month old lil miss night waking/feeds, I didn't have my best shot at it last night, so 11pm (down around 7pm) saw me cave in first after grizzly cries, standing in cot and bouncing around! She then had a 10min feed and seems to doze off but still sucking!? So I take her off and put her back down semi-asleep and she nods off again no probs. Then same again at 5am, with addition of nappy change and this sees her through til 7am. I did take your advice this morning and shovelled down her farex and fruit PRE BF happily. Maybe if I feed her a little more at each meal time, or bring in snacks ... Maybe this will tie her over at night more? Or not. She is a little under average weight/age on the Plunket graph, so thinking maybe she really does need the night feeds? No idea really ...
Anyway I just want to ask again with regards to the night waking should I be removing her from the cot and trying to 'cup' (I think you called it) her to sleep or just to calm her, before tucking her back down and hoping for the best? And if not asleep leave her to cry for say 5mins before repeating? Sorry if you are repeating yourself, I did try to retain as much advice as possible with a wriggly 8month old on my knee.
Thanks so much
Bronie

arnaarna wrote: Hi OHbaby, thank you for putting on such a great speaker. This is the second time I have been to hear Dorothy speak and she was well worth the repeat visit! There were two or three things that really stood out to me the first time (while pregnant) and now that my little Miss is 8 months old there were different but equally informative snippets of gold that I took from this opportunity to quiz Dorothy. Really, really appreciate you making Dorothy available to us! Again, apologies for having to leave early - turns out it was a sick kid. Thanks, Arna.

Edited by DorothyW - 26 March 2013 at 1:41pm

Hi Tammy-Lee
It was lovely to meet you today and sorry we didnt get a chance to chat. I think the main thing here is to relax and let things unfold for ZOe.

At her age they do tend to play on their own and not interact so thats okay.   Also when babies/toddlers are in a situation that isn't their normal environment they do tend to cling, grizzle and be upset. She will take her cues from you so just give her positive encouragement through your body language and let her move forward at her pace with support from you.

No matter how much we try and prevent situations for our children it is part of the learning process and it is how you deal with it as parents that will soften the situation.

Hi Sarah
Thank you and it was lovely to be in Tauranga.

With regard to spit ups. I would call her a happy spitter and leave well alone.   Even if you burped her more she would probably still spit up. You only worry about a baby spitting up if it causes pain.

At three months babies do become very aware of their surroundings and love to chat and come off and on the boob.   Just make sure she is feeding more than the coming off and on as some babies do become players and this takes a baby a lot longer to feed.

As long as you are feeding every 3 hours or more during the day and she is sleeping well at night then you will not be overfeeding her.

Yes, you could look at your diet, however again she is happy so I would not change anything

HI MIchelle

As your baby is six weeks old his awake time would be between 45 minutes to an hour and his nap time would be a minimum of 1 1/2 hours.

So if he is lying in his cot for 40 minutes before going to sleep and then sleeping for 45 minutes I would suggest trying to resettle so that he will be feeding approximately every 3hours

At the moment he would be feeding every 2 1/2 hours so ideally it would be great to get him to sleep for another 30 minutes with resettling.

YOu are correct you do want him to feed more during the day and sleep longer at night, however if he will feed better if he has had a good sleep.

Babies need two nutrients to survive and that is sleep and food. IF they dont sleep well, then they wont feed well.    

SELF-SETTLING TOOLS
•     The ‘Engulf’ Hold
•     Cupping and patting
•     Shushing

The ‘Engulf’ Hold
As its name suggests, this hold provides as much body contact as possible, giving your baby the sense of being completely contained as if in the womb.

It positions your baby in such a way that you can initiate other settling techniques simultaneously. In addition, it provides warmth, intimacy and the meditative beat of your heart.

Most mothers/fathers prefer using their dominant arm to support the baby’s body from underneath. Choose whichever side feels most natural to you.

Hold Baby so that her/his head is resting on the upper region of your non-dominant arm. For mothers, this ensures that their baby is not too close to their breast where she/he could be easily distracted by being close to their milk supply.

Draw Baby in close so that you are pressed tummy to tummy with her/his face nestled just below the top of your shoulder. Your palm will be on your baby’s bottom with her/his legs tucked up into your body and supported by your forearm.

With your non-dominant arm, reach around Baby’s shoulder and take hold of her/his arm to steady it, in other words to control the startle movement.

For this technique to be effective, there should be no eye contact or communication between you and your baby. Allow your own body to do the nurturing.

Cupping and Patting
Cupping is a stronger action and is done with a cupped palm, incorporating both cupping and a short but gentle thrust forward of baby’s body.

Patting or cupping your baby’s bottom or lower body mimics your baby’s heartbeat and reassures Baby of your presence.

Patting is a rhythmic, firm and repetitive action done with your palm flat.

Both patting and cupping can be done in your arms or adapted for the cot.

Shushing
Shushing is a long, low sound, resembling air being released from a tyre. It should be loud enough so that Baby can hear it over her crying. It is thought that babies respond to shushing because it is similar to the sound in the womb.

Dummies (optional)
If you allow Baby to wind down before offering a dummy, it becomes a settling tool rather than a prop.