Reassurance please ....

It's much needed ...

Ladies with endo - please humour me ....You had trouble TTC, and then got pregnant after the surgery, didn't you? How long were you TTC beforehand, and how long did it take after? I need to feel some hope again (pre-AF miseries have brought this on I think!)

I've been having a bad couple of days, just feeling down about things. I'm not sure why. Too many babies and pregnant people around me I think. With everything I'm going through, I'm also getting almost daily pxts from my SIL of her baby saying 'Aren't I cute aunty?'. *Sigh*

The husband said a few days ago that he's been taking our dogs out and carrying extra weight in his back pack to prepare for when he'll be carrying our child. I realised yesterday that I don't see it. I honestly cannot see us with a child any more. I know in my head that we want a family, and we're trying to have a family, but my heart is saying "You know it's not going to happen, right?"

Right. Doom and gloom over. I'm going to find some chocolate.

Sorry I can't humour you. Me and Dh never actually tried TTC before I had the surgery for endo we were just if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't. I did however conceive 2 months after having the surgery. I then had the surgery again last year in Feb and my specialist told me to start trying again straight away but I didn't want to due to getting married in a years time. Just before this pregnancy in May I was told I had PCOS on both overaies and would have troubles conceiving. However BDing (with no protection) at a time we thought we were safe I ended up pregnant. We had said earlier that week that we would start trying from October onwards. We never set out to get pregnant it jsut happened.

Hi Ginger!

I know excatly how you feel. I am 25 years old, and was diagnosed at 18 with severe endometriosis and told it was likely that I was unable to have children. I saw another gyno the following year and had another laporoscapy with her (Hanifa Koya)and she said that I had terrible scarring from my first surgery and she fixed it for me. But, sadly a year later, I was still in pain so off I went, my 3rd OP. Hanifa said that i had scarring and a little bit of Endo, but saw no reasons that would prevent me from having children as I had 2 ovaries and uterus and was young! She basically was hinting at me to not leave it to late and conceive early! Then, 2 years later, I moved up to Auckland and was still sore, it as mainly my bowel movements. I saw a great gyno up here, Hillary Liddell, and she said that I might have endo in my bowels. So, off I went and had my 4th surgery. This was the worst one that I remember as it took me 6 weeks to recover. What I had was that my uterus was stuck to my bowel. So, she unstuck it, and inserted an IDU. I hated that thing, my skin was bad and i could swear that I felt it! Anyway, I asked my GP to take it out in January 2006 and have been trying ever since. Every month, I would take a test and when my period arrived, I would cry. I didnt do anything differently, was still lazy as ever and even drank more than I used to. In July, I decided to quit the booze for 3 months. It was hard, but I avoided al parties and functions. Come last week, I woke up on the Monday morning with a horrible pimply rash all over my torso. I thought "what have I eaten?" Went to work, a friend who happens to be pregnant (she had fertility treatment for 18 months as she didnt ovulate) and she said that she had the same thing when she got pregnant. I troddled off to the doc, answered her questions and she asked me if I was pregnant, and I said I doubted it. She asked me to do the test and there was 2 pink lines! I said to her that there must be a mistake, how accurate it is, etc etc. I went home crying and couldnt sleep cause I thought I must of eaten something to influence a positive result. So, went back to the doc the next day and asked for a blood test which confirmed that I was indeed pregnant.
I thought it was impossible, my fiancee is absolutly happy.
All I can suggest, is that if you havent already, consult a great gynocologist. Hanifa was the best in Wellington and Hillary is the best in Auckland. If you let me know which area you live in, I can give you more details. I realised after 6 years, that my whole problem was my bowels!!! That is often missed when looking for Endo in womens uteruses. I had the worst scarring possible, and I managed to conceive after 7 months of trying. The only thing that changed around conception was the fact that I didnt drink any booze at all. I also admit that I did the whole put your legs in the air after ejeculation and wait for 5mins! I admit that I was so depressed cause of Endo, but things happen and it will for you. Let me know if you want any further info from a Endo sufferer for 7 years!!

Thanks so much guys for telling me your stories - I really appreciate it

Giselja and Jess, thank you for your recommendations. I am actually under Hilary Liddell at the moment Giselja!! She operated on me a fortnight ago (yay for health insurance - I'm so glad I didn't have to pay *that* bill!). I had endo on my ovaries and bowel, and when I saw her she gave me a big smile and told me to ring her when I was pregnant.

I have the pre-AF crazies and rational thinking has gone on holiday for a bit - hence my little freak-out.

Thank you all

Oh, and in other news - I had a dreadful hair cut the other day (I'm talking paper bag all the way!) and am going to a super-expensive salon on Saturday morning (I have an appointment with the style director at Toni & Guy) as a treat to get it fixed, and then I'm going shopping for some summer clothes. If that doesn't cure my funk, nothing will!! Oh, well, about from a double-liner on a pee stick, of course!

Yeah, I got photos ...

I much prefer to think my insides look more like the nice'n'tiday hand drawn jobbies you see in books!

EW the photos are gross lol took me awhile to figure out what was what tho LOL

Well mummy-becks ...you'd never imagine that those little black spots (regardless of how many there were!) would create *that* much misery! Even if you saw them!

PS. A lady I know on a US site had been TTC for 4 years, had the Lap surgery in May for endo and is now 12 weeks along...