I am so ANGRY...am I Overreacting?

My kids walk with a group of kids & parents to school & home. I also do it on certain days like the other parents.

This morning when we got to the drop off point DS3 sat down on a box thing like he does most morning as do other kids. A father came over & sat next to him with his son (why he had to sit down I don't know) so DS3 started talking to him he is a bit of a chatter box, no other parent has had issues with it. The father turn to him & told him to stop talking to him as he was going to talk to some one else (his son), I did not hear all he said to DS3 but DS3 hopped of the box with his bottom lip down & got into the pram & pulled a blanket over him. I said good bye to the other kids & off they went.

The father crossed the road & walk off. I followed him after I gave a drink to DS3 & he was crying saying "mean man, so I just said not to worry & chatted to him & off we went.I was angry that the father had upset my son but that was the end of that...so I though.

Walking down the RD I was 6 houses behind him, I have a sore knee so no way I could of caught up to him even if I wanted too. He stopped at his drive & waited for me, I had my ipod on but down low, in the time he waited he could of been inside his house.

As I walked pasted him he said "Have a good day" I ignored him, not something I would normally do but I did not want to wish him a good day after he made my 4yr old cry.

He followed me onto the footpath & said it again 4 more times. I turn around & said "You upset him" he told me to teach my child some manners, get some parenting skills, go home & think about it, this was followed by a lot more.

He followed me down the footpath yelling this at me till I stopped & turned around. I stood there stunned & could not think of anything to say & walked off he was still going on so I yelled back I would send my husband down to talk to him about parenting skills.

The child is new to the walking group so I will see this man every morning. I have been at this school & walking with these kids for yrs & have never had a confrontation like this.

Several weeks ago his child came up to me at school sobbing is heart out as he did not know if he was to walk with us or wait for his mum, I spent 10mins sorting him out, getting hold of his mum & walking him home & looking after him. The mother actually came to the school & told him to walk with us & then she was late picking him up so I had to wait 5mins with him. Which makes me twice as mad as I could of just sent the child to the office for them to sort out....here I help his child & I get verbally abused, told I am not a good parent & that my child is a badly behaved kid.

I feel I can not tell DH as he will go & sort him out.

I don't want to do the walking group any more now but am committed till DS3 goes to school (as it suits us) but after that I may give it up as I don't want to see them & the wife has just started helping out on it also.

Am I overreacting, do I have a right to feel like this, or should I just get over it.

I will see him or her this afternoon as I am on it...if it is her do I say something?

hmmm sounds like the guy got upset cause you didnt respond to him... maybe he was going to try and apologise? wonder if he has some mental issues?

Dont let it put you off the walking group. I would go there and be polite (chilly polite is ok lol) but dont engage him in anything other than chit chat. If it was his first day then he has lots of time to offend the other parents yet and then once that happens you can collectively take action. i would try too not be on the same said of the road as him.

if it is the wife there instead of him i wouldnt say anything to her, she might react the same as him if she is just as nuts.

Maybe he hadn't meant to upset your son...and stayed out to wait for you to go by as a bit of a peace offering, after having realised your son was upset?

Sounds like he only reacted negatively when you ignored him...
and then it's kinda snowballed (which it can, in the heat of the moment).

Personally, I would try and make amends...and see this as a misunderstanding.

ETA: Should have also said....he sounds like a bit of a wally. Don't take what he said to heart!




Edited by Sally

OMG, I would be fuming (I'm not at all good in those sorts of situations and would of ended up yelling at him myself because I wouldn't know how to react )

Tell DH too as you will stew over it otherwise or let it slip anyway.

Don't let him put you off the walking group. I would be over the top polite because I'm sarcastic
I wouldn't say anything to the wife, just pretend it didn't happen. She might feel aweful about the whole thing and not know what to say herself

I think, as you will be seeing this guy a lot, that you need to try and make amends.
Just say there was a misunderstanding, and lets move on etc.
And in future, just keep you distance as much as possible.

Some people are just mean and pathetic.

I have just got back from my big kindy walk so have had 12km to really think it over.

When he first arrived there & came up to where we were waiting I said "hi how are you" as you do so no issues there. I don't know if I have seen him there before or just not taken notice of him. The child is a regular in the last few weeks. I think his child is about 6-7yrs & I know they have an older daughter at high school. The boy is very quiet shy.
I also think they go to the church were my son goes with friends from school for a kids night thing.

Firstly he did not have to sit with my 4yr old or get into a conversation with him. He could of got up & walked away at any stage & there was no need to upset him.

He could of said sorry or something to me at any stage before the kids left for school.

I walked the same way as him which is a quiet rd I cut through to head off to kindy so not much traffic & not a main rd so no one around.

When I got to where he was waiting for me I found the way he said "have a good day" to be arrogant like he was forcing me to wish him well after he knowingly upset my child. I

I can not imagine my DH ever saying to a women he had meet for 5 mins that she need to learn to parent, that her pre school child had no manners & verbally abuse her in the street or even stood around while a women was being abused. However if DH had of witness what had happened to me he would of laid him out.

The thing is I never did or said anything, I was not looking for a fight...I had my child with me so I chose to walk away had I of been alone it would of been different & also I was in shock & never expected anything like this & over ...what...a chatty 4yr old.

I have no reason to talk to him & have no intention to.

thanks for letting me vent now roll on pick up time on yay not

Aww Jazzy what is with some people aye. How rude   if he didnt want to talk to your boy he donst have to, but to do that to you afterwards is rude. Maybe he is a bully ,bullys grown up and keep being bullys. Well done for showing restirght i wouldnt off. Big hugs hun hope you feel better now and dont give up on your walking group

Edited by james

What a nutter! He obviously has issues, seems like he likes intimidation or just plain weird!

I would still go but keep my distance

Good luck!

He sounds like a bully, probably gets his jollies off on getting a reaction from people, which would explain his escalation in rudeness when you initially ignored him. Avoid him as best you can. His family are probably his targets as well so I wouldn't try to bring it up with his wife, she'd probably be embarrassed or upset & maybe react defensively, & nothing positive would come from that. As someone else pointed out it won't be long before he offends someone else.

thanks

I have found out that they have 4 children the 6yr old is the youngest & they have all been home schooled. He started school this yr & only one at priamry.
They are very religious. I think they have a strict parenting approach & maybe do not speak till spoken to & so on.

I have told a couple of the mums who were shocked & even more shocked when he road past on his push bike & waved & smiled.

The way he spoke to me & not giving me a chance to say anything made me fell like he thinks women are second rate. If they don't have their children behaving in the manner he thinks appropriate he feels he has the right to say & force his options on them. How this man thinks he can confront, follow & hurl verable abuses at a women over something so pathetic & in a secluded area just shows me the lack of respect he has for me as a person.
I believe I am not the fist to be put down by him.

He has shown himself to be unstable & being in a children safe walking to school group we need to watch out for people like him. If he gets upset over a chatty 4 yr old how will he act with a bunch of rowdy kids if he is on it...scary.

I saw his wife twice today she never said anything to me or made eye contact. I think that maybe her nature as she is rather stern, never seen her smile & she has never said hello & another mum has said the same to me.
DS1 helped her son do something & she told him to thank DS1.
I am not going to say anything to her unless she says something to me. If I was her I would be ashamed. Don't know if she knows or maybe that's normal.

I am going to ignore him unless he approaches me & then I will tell him to not talk to my children & that he is to stay away from them. I will tell him (if I get a chance) that his behaviour was totally unacceptable to me & I wont tolerate it. I know he will either avoid me, act like there is not problem or loose his cool.

DH will be talking to him if & when they meet. He needs to be put in to place & be told he can not speak to DH's wife that that & not to interact with his children.