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newme 
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Joined: 11 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
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 Topic: Unfriending on facebook
Posted: 11 February 2011 at 7:22pm |
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Recently I looked through my friends on fb and decided that a good proportion of them were not actually friends....I mean there was a girl who dossed on our couch in London for a few days, someone I went to primary school with for a year etc etc. People that I don't know at all really. Plus other people, more like acquaintances etc.
So I unfriended about 50 people. I just realised I didn't want them knowing so much about me.
And a three of these people have now sent me messages asking why I have un-friended them, quite annoyed, wanting to know what they did to upset me! Is there some unfriending etiquette that I don't know about? Is it a big no-no to unfriend people?
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Plushie
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 7:28pm |
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Weird that they noticed. As far as i know facebook doesnt inform you that you've been defriended? So they must have gone looking for you or noticed an absence of updates from their feed. I intend on doing a bunch of unfriending myself shortly.
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Jaxnz1
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Location: Hamilton
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 7:31pm |
I don't think so. Heaps of my friends have a 'friend cull' every now and then.....I seem to always make the cut  I've had a couple of people de-friend me and at the time I thought hmmmm wonder why they deleted me, but not to the point where I would send them a message! I just figure some friends you don't actually have that much in common with, so I don't see the point in still having them as friends.
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Kimnthekids
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:03pm |
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I unfriend people on a regular basis, i find the odd person resends a request (which i usually ignore) but most dont notice.
I find ill often 'friend' people who at the time im doing things wi
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pudgy
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:05pm |
I had a really big cull a while back for the very same reason, almost half of my 'friends' I hadn't met IRL.
I think some people take it a bit personally seeing as FB is such a big part of life now.
I personally think it's sad that they sent you messages, have they nothing better to worry about ?
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_SMS_
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:16pm |
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I do it all the time too.
Just people who add me and never speak to me or just people i dont know all that well.
My list has crept up to 160 and i know i dont speak with that many people so i think i need to delete again.
Another opition now is you can change your privacy settings so only certain people can see photos & friends list & your wall.
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jamsta
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:20pm |
I have acquaintances added to a limited profile list, that way I can decide how much (or little) of my profile they can see. No one I have added to it so far has complained so all good :) Not sure if I have helped or not Hila but I would agree with Bowie - they would not have received any notification so must have had not many friends or been fb stalking you 
Edited by jamsta
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QTMum
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Location: Queenstown
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:34pm |
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It's dumb but I feel really mean unfriending people so now I just put them on a limited profile so they can't see anything I don't want them to see.
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Kicker
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 9:11pm |
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I dont think that it is wrong to defriend people that you basically have nothing in common with or never see etc.
I was recently defriended by a person that is in a mutual mothers group which meet up quite regularly. I was a little offended by that as it was a definate selective defriending, ie about half the group. So in that case i did email her to ask why and to see if i had upset her in any way.
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fairy1
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 9:28pm |
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I have unfriended people and not told them in advance. Out of the last cull Ive only had one friend request from them. I kind of wonder how they noticed as I dont tend to post much.
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caraMel
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 9:59pm |
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I unfriend people every few months. Its nothing personal (usually), just feel a bit funny having people I don't interact with knowing about the daily happenings in my life and seeing my kid's pictures etc.
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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TheKelly
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Posted: 11 February 2011 at 10:26pm |
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You know,that when you defriend people, you are supposed to make a big song and dance about it on your status right?something along the lines of "if you are still here tomorrow count yourself lucky, im going on a defriending spree".........*rolls eyes *
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High9
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 7:14am |
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I noticed my friends # drop but unless I actually think hard and go looking, half the time I don't know who it is and kinda don't care lol ... That said, when I defriend people I never have them email me, sometimes they send a request and I kinda hope they get the message re me not answering... Only had one or two people really ask about it.
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my4beauties
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 7:43am |
When I've noticed that I've been culled by someone, I don't send them an email asking them why. It doesn't bother me too much, but then it's only ever been by people that I've never met IRL. The only time I ask myself why I've been culled is when they've invited me to be their friend, then I see they end up culling me. Don't get that. My cousin's fiance whom I'd never met invited me to be friends which i thought was weird, but I didn't mind being that she was going to be family. Next thing just as they near their wedding date I noticed she's culled me. That ticked me off!'
I don't blame you for making that cull Hila. And for people to message you asking why, that's a bit sensitive of them.
Edited by my4beauties
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) 
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My3Sons
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 8:44am |
 caraMel wrote:
I unfriend people every few months. Its nothing personal (usually), just feel a bit funny having people I don't interact with knowing about the daily happenings in my life and seeing my kid's pictures etc.
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yep this is how I feel as well, esp with pics of the kids which I want to post to show family and good friends but I dont think someone I went to high school with and havent seen since then needs to see photos of my kids? Seems a bit sensitive to be messaging you about it!
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lizzle
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 9:26am |
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The only time I got huffy was when someone i had been "friends" with for about four years, defriended me. Someone I am friends with called them on something they had done. they had a big spazz and deleted heaps of people, including myself. i was pissy as i hadn't done anything at all, and had been at work during the whole thing. I would never bother sending a letter though as looking back, as amusing as they were, i was getting a little sick of the repetitive status updates on the SAME thing,
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 10:17am |
TheKelly wrote:
You know,that when you defriend people, you are supposed to make a big song and dance about it on your status right?something along the lines of "if you are still here tomorrow count yourself lucky, im going on a defriending spree".........*rolls eyes * |
haha kelly!! So agree!
I never say anything I just go through and remove people that dont interact with me, or people who have added me and then never even say hi, or people that I dont actually know.
ETA - Also, I dont see any point in having a limited profile, as why have someone as a friend if they cant see your wall or photos or anything, it makes no sense to me lol..
Edited by Sheza
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Danda08
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 10:37am |
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I am amazed they even noticed! I'm sure I don't make people's cull's all the time and I wouldn't have a clue (unless it was a close friend).
I have had a couple of people try to re-add me after I've cut them. That's awkward.
I go by the theory that if I haven't had any contact with them in a certain period, then we're not really friends anymore and I cut them.
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AbzandH
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 11:08am |
Kicker, i'm intrigued as to whether you received a reply? Do tell
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High9
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Posted: 12 February 2011 at 11:17am |
TheKelly wrote:
You know,that when you defriend people, you are supposed to make a big song and dance about it on your status right?something along the lines of "if you are still here tomorrow count yourself lucky, im going on a defriending spree".........*rolls eyes * |
*like* lol!
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Unfriending on facebook
