Questions

I'm a regular here but need to stay anon for this so bare with me.

I've just left my partner and we have an infant son together. I took DS with me when I left.

I've just been granted custody on an interim parenting order and the father is allowed contact 3 days a week.

Thing is, my ex is fighting me tooth and nail. I feel I've been really reasonable, offering to move closer (a 35 min drive away rather than the 4 hour drive it currently is), I'm willing to give him a minimum of 3 days a week contact (I wanted to offer 24/7 access but my lawyer wouldn't allow me to be so vague) and more if he chooses which will increase to overnight stays once DS reaches a year old as DS is BF.
Anyway, he has applied to discharge the order I've got and/or vary it and has applied for his own parenting order which would give him custody and apparently give me contact everyday until DS is 6 months old then I'm assuming he intends to decrease the amount of time I can see him. AND he wants me to move back to the town he's living in so that if I do get full custody he can see him everyday. And he says if I don't move back to that town, I'll have to pay his fuel bill for travelling.

I know the odds are stacked against him. Anything he has against me I already came clean about in my own affidavit so nothing will be news to the judge. But, he's really getting under my skin and freaking me out. He keeps saying I'm being unreasonable and that I don't have DS's best interested at heart.
DS has been appointed his own lawyer so I know his best interests are being looked after so mine and the ex's own "interests" are irrelevent in the case now anyway.

Anyway, most of that is just rambling, but my big questions are this:

What are the odds of him getting custody of DS?

And, I have evidence of some criminal acts that he has partaken in. I don't want to get him in trouble, but I don't want to lose my son and was thinking of dobbing him in for the things he's done. The way I see it, he can't get custody if he's under investigation for crimes that may send him to jail. But would I be helping or hindering my case if I dropped him in it? Should I? Shouldn't I?

I don't really know the answers to your questions sorry. But I agree with Stacey. Talk to your lawyer about the evidence you have against your ex.

Take care

Anything he has against me the judge already knows about cause I came clean with it all and the judge has given me interim custody until a final parenting order can be done.

Will give my lawyer a call and see what she says about it all.

Oh, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR to him

He is being nothing but a bully and a pig, and no judge with half a brain would ever consider allowing this man custody of a baby.

He is using your child as a tool to manipulate you, and you have a choice to either let him, or not.

I have my own ongoing custody battles, opposite situation where the father can't particularly be bothered to see his child, but in my situation he uses his lack of access as the tool because he knows how much I want him to take an interest in his son.

Hugs hun. It will all be ok.

I've been a bystander in family court proceedings.

The most important thing to remember is that things all come down to the 'best interests of the child.'

Focus in on what YOU are doing to keep your child happy and safe breastfeeding etc. plus the emotial bond that you have with the child and the efforts you are going to promote the other parent's relationship with the child.

Take a look at previous decisions to give you an idea of how judges think. There's a bunch of them here

Like AandCsmum said, what I've done can't be that bad otherwise they would've taken him off me in the first place.
Oh and for the things I did...I've been undergoing counselling for since September last year.

I can see the odds are stacked against my ex pretty badly. Anything he thought he had against me is gone. He thinks I'm so against him though. I keep trying to do the right thing and being helpful. I offered to meet him halfway between where he lives and where I live and then he started insinuating that I'm seeing a guy in the town I suggested we meet in.
Last time I try do anything decent for the guy! Court order only says I got to give him contact. Doesn't say I have to go TO him or even meet him halfway.

Oh, does anyone know, does a court order still count if he hasn't been served with the documents?
I think he's avoiding/hiding from the bailif and refusing to accept the order and he's saying it doesn't stand until he is served?
He's allowed contact 3 days a week but I'm not willing to let him near DS until I know for sure the court order stands and he can't take off with him.

Oh and how long does he have to defend the court order? Is it 21 days?

I know my lawyer could tell me all this but you know...she does her job but she's not super friendly.

Yes, the order does stand, even if he hasn't been served with it. If he does take off with your wee man (even if he hasn't been served with the Court order), you can apply to the Court for a warrant to enforce the interim parenting order and if necessary the Police can then act to get your son and return him to you.

He doesn't actually have to accept the order, but it does need to get left in his presence so the bailiff has to be able to find him. If you have any extra information you can give the Court about how to find him (i.e maybe let them know what times he may be at work) that will make it easier to serve him. The bailiff can only act off the information you give them and don't generally go out searching for people at addresses other than what you give.

He has 21 days to file a defence to the application for a final order once he is served (although the interim order can last up to a year), but he can get permission to file the defence later if he has a good reason for not getting it in on time.

Hope this info helps and the situation improves for you.

Make sure you change all your passwords for everything, to something that he won't think of that way he can't hack into anything.

I'm sorry for the trouble you're going through, RogueMum.

If your ex is hacking your OB accounts, he is probably looking on here in the meantime for you and it probably won't take him long to work out who you are, despite being 'anon'.

Wishing you the best and please get on your lawyer's case if need be.

Edited by JessDub