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mummymonster 
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 Topic: Not sleeping through - CIO?
Posted: 01 March 2010 at 7:34pm |
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There's another long thread about CIO at the moment, but I didn't want to hijack it. Wanting some thoughts on this though.
DS is 7mths and is a bit dummy dependant. Sometimes he can get me up every 1.5hrs to put his dummy back in. Sometimes he'll sleep from 7pm till 4am (not often).
I'm sick of getting up just to give him his dummy back and for the life of me I don't know why sometimes he doesn't need it.
Then last night - oh my I was tired - he slept from 7 till 5am (I checked on him at 10pm and his dummy was out). I started thinking maybe on the nights he sleeps well it's just that I'm so tired I don't hear the crying, and when I'm less than exhausted I wake too easily and give him his dummy straight away just so I can go back to sleep. It's a pathetic whine cry, not a heart felt real tears cry. I think I'd wake to a real cry no matter how tired I was.
Now I'm thinking I should just let him CIO and not get up. But that other thread makes me feel guilty at the thought. But I can't keep getting up every 1.5hrs.
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Emmecat
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 7:55pm |
If CIO feels ok adn right to you then by all means do it  I dont do it at all because it feels inherently wrong. But we're all different.
Is Issac dependant on his dummy during the day? If so, maybe try 'weaning' him off it for his day naps before attempting the night ones.
TBH at 7 months there was no way Clodagh was sleeping through the night in any way shape or form and she still isn't. And she's never had a dummy...hated them lol  At 9 months sh'es still waking twice a night (at least) to BF and I figure if that's what she wants/needs right now then Ill give it to her. She's still a wee baby after all! But yeah if it bothered me utterly then of course I would take different action. Go with your gut
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babyg
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:03pm |
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We never used a dummy here but are parents who will more than happily let our babies cry for up to 10mins before tending to them (depending on the cry). I don't care who does and doesn't agree - it works for us and our DD has slept thru since she was a small baby.
I tend to leave babies to cry for a few minutes, if the crying (pitch) changes or intensifies in that time then I will get up to them and tend to them. If there's no change I will leave for a further two minutes and then tend to them if they haven't stopped. Generally our girl was happily asleep again within the first few minutes without our tending to her.
Many parents can't manage this and don't want to as they either don't agree with leaving babies to cry or can't cope with hearing babies cry. Don't feel bad if you'd like to give this a go - what's the worst that can happen .. it doesn't work for you and you choose another route??
Best of luck to you, I wouldn't be getting up to a healthy baby every hr or two either!!
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Carys Ruby - 4 October 2007
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BeLoved
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:06pm |
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My DD had a dummy up until she was 5-6 months old, I was getting up sometimes 12 times a night to put it back in and thats when we decided to go cold turkey and get rid of the dummy, I first introduced a muslin blankie that I use to put down my top before naps/bedtime so it smelt like me and once she was a little attached to that we ditched the dummy.
There was about a week where I had to sit with her and sshhh/pat and when it was just grizzling crying I would do a bit of CC so would leave the room for 2-5 minutes then go back and reassure her give her the blankie, this would only happen a couple of times and she would fall asleep (and to clarify there was never any real upset crying) In the middle of the night if she woke I would wait to see if she settled but if she got upset then I would go and sit with her sshh/pat, give blankie and she would go back to sleep. The night wakings did not happen much as once she was able to get to sleep without the dummy, she did not wake much at all, and within a week maximum she was sleeping without the dummy no problems....she now sucks on her blankie but that does not bother me.
Good luck, I was petrified of getting rid of the dummy, but was getting no real sleep and in the end I was petrified of nothing...if you gave DD a dummy now she would not know what to do with it and I am so glad we did it then than have to do it later.
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Emmecat
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:08pm |
babyg- well put and I totally agree
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arohanui
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:21pm |
At 7 months, we just put about 5 dummies in Harry's cot and taught him to find them. Whenever he woke, I'd shake one up by his head so he knew it was there, and he'd turn around to find it and would pick it up. After not too long he'd automatically find one... having lots in the cot meant that it was easier for him to find one.
Just another option
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... 
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tibby
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:23pm |
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I was getting up to DS every 1-2 hrs and at 6 mths l was beside myself. It wasn't healthy for either of us, we were both sleep deprived.
We read the Sleepeasy Solution, took the bits that we thought would work for us and did CC. Within 3-5 days he was sleeping 12 hrs ( DF at 10pm).
We have never looked back and he is now 10 mths.
Each to their own. I don't judge anyone for what they choose to do. Parenting is a bloody hard job and you do what works for you.
Good luck with whatever you decide. The lady who runs the sleepstore is fabulous by the way if you need advice on sleep and getting rid of dummies etc. ( only if you decide you can do CC)
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caraMel
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 10:01pm |
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We had a great little clip that attached the dummy to his pj's. He very quickly learned how to find it by pulling on the ribbon and could pop it back in himself.
I bought it at Farmers.
GL with whatever you do. Just make sure you're happy with your decision and don't stress about what other people think.
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mumtooboys
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 10:01pm |
Elizabeth Pantley I think has a section in her No Cry Sleep Solution book about weaning from dummies and other sleep associations. I borrowed my copy and as DS2 wouldn't take a dummy I didn't read that section so I could be telling porkies. LOL
I'm with Emmecat, we don't do CIO/CC in this house any more because it feels inherently wrong for us. We tend to any distressed sounding cries whatever the hour even now (he's nearly 2.5) but whinging we tend to leave that bit longer and see what happens.
At 7.5 months I went back to night feeds after a stint of doing 10+ hours because it was easier than 'fighting' him about it and he was gently night weaned starting at 9 months and by 11 months the feeds were gone but he was still waking up. 
I say do what feels right for YOU as a family, stuff what anyone else thinks.
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fire_engine
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 10:12pm |
 arohanui wrote:
At 7 months, we just put about 5 dummies in Harry's cot and taught him to find them. Whenever he woke, I'd shake one up by his head so he knew it was there, and he'd turn around to find it and would pick it up. After not too long he'd automatically find one... having lots in the cot meant that it was easier for him to find one.
Just another option |
Ditto. It was the easiest for us and it worked! We weaned him off the dummy at 15 months with no problems.
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arohanui
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 8:37am |
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Oh yeah I should say we weaned Harry off his dummies at about 18 months I think, no probs there either (just cut the end off and gradually cut more and more off)
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and...
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mummymonster
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 8:54am |
arohanui wrote:
At 7 months, we just put about 5 dummies in Harry's cot and taught him to find them. Whenever he woke, I'd shake one up by his head so he knew it was there, and he'd turn around to find it and would pick it up. After not too long he'd automatically find one... having lots in the cot meant that it was easier for him to find one.
Just another option |
We have two or three around him. I tend to find them on the floor, or under the blankets by his legs.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 12:28pm |
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seeing as your baby is 7 mths now i think i aggre with babyg too. i generally give it a minute ot two too see where its leading. sometimes they cry out for nothing and just go back to sleep. IMO you might want to try getting rid of the dummy, esp if thats the reason he wakes.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 12:38pm |
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I also agree with babyg, thats exactly what we do!
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FionaO
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 7:09pm |
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Ds had a dummy when he was little, I can't remember when he stopped, he sort of weaned himself off it as he just started to play with it, I used to pop back in just as he was drifting off and slowly take the dummy out of the mouth so he didn't get used to sleeping with it in, sometimes this meant taking it out and then closing his mouth and just holding it closed for a sec so he didn't miss the dummy and it worked fine. can't remember what book I read that said to try that, maybe gina ford.
We go by the 10 minute rule, depending on the type of cry and as the months go by you will really easily tell when its just sort of a i'm kind of awake but just wriggling around don't need you cry to the something is wrong help cry.
Agree though if leaving them to cry isn't for you then another way will work too.
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wellygirl
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 8:20pm |
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Agree with babyg, and I echo what Tibby says about the SleepEasy Solution (aka my bible).
Re dummy, Ruby was using one until 6 months and it kept falling out at night. We tried going cold turkey and she just started sucking on her fingers as a substitute - didn't even get upset.
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Nikki
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 8:32pm |
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I'm not sure if you saw my post from a few days ago, but I'm going through this right now. And there has definitely been some tears!
Someone on here sent me the "sleep sense" programme, so hopefully she will come here and share her story (its similar to yours).
If I was you, I would try to drop it now, as getting up that often just to put the dummy in is painful. I'm only having to get up early in the morning and the odd evening, but I'm trying to drop it now as I don't want to end up in the situation you are in. I tried to do it gradually (not giving it when she didn't need it for naps or fell asleep on the bottle but then giving it when she cried) but that wasn't really working so went cold turkey a couple of days ago and doing CC. I think the key is getting them to go to sleep at the start of the night without it, so they learn to go to sleep without it. I have found leaving her to talk/grizzle in the morning when she was waking at 5ish meant she just went back to sleep (usually). But trying to get her into bed at night awake is the issue.
Do what feels right for you. And don't let all the vocal people who are saying how bad it is to let them cry get to you. It is far better in the long run for bubs (and you) to be getting a decent nights sleep, even if thats means a little crying in the process.
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DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
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HippyMama
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Posted: 02 March 2010 at 10:11pm |
I second the recommendation of looking at the No Cry Sleep Solution (Elizabeth Pantley), as well as Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky McKay. Plenty of info in there on ways to create / change sleep associations and cues.
Nighttime Parenting and The Baby Sleep Book by Dr William Sears are also great resources with a more gentle approach.
If you have the time and inclination after all that, I also would like to direct you to a great collection of articles via the Peaceful Parenting blog on baby sleep and related topics:
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-research.html
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Mama to two earth walkers & two angels.
Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz
Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !!
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Not sleeping through - CIO?
