Day sleeps.. uurrgghhh

I have posted about this challenge before...ill try again too...
I have a beautiful baby boy - just turned 4 months old... and my biggest challenge at the moment is his lack of daytime sleeps

I dont want to "train" him or read "some experts" book.. i am looking for mummies advice and strategies to help me (and him of course!!)

at the moment he sleeps up to 40mins at the most..(sometimes just 20mins) i keep him up for an hour and a half - watching for tired signs and then its into his swaddle blanket, a breastfeed and into bed....

Ideally i want to be able to feed him without him falling asleep on me..this is all part of my challenge !! I feel exausted as hes feeding so often and maybe not sleeping long because he doesnt have a full tummy ??

I have done the waiting around until he starts to rouse.. sushing, rocking the cot, patting drills.. he just becomes more and more upset and starts to scream.. once hes up hes content and all smiles ! im not too keen on the CC or CIO methods as we are in a super small house and my husband works nights..

advice, ideas, suggestions PLEASE HELP !!??!!
thanks in advance

I have this same problem except Jackson will only last an hour max awake and I dont feed before bed. We follow feed play sleep and when we started that at 5 weeks old it worked well but only lasted until 10 weeks. Jackson is now 16 weeks and has been cat napping 30 - 45 minutes during the day since 10 weeks old

I have also done the shushing, patting, rocking, etc etc to try to resolve it but have now come to the conslusion that its just easier and less stressful to just go with the flow. And I work around that instead of fighting it.

He now has 4 sometimes 5 40 minute cat naps throughout the day. It kinda stuffs up our 3 hourly feeding routine but with the heat here feeding 2.5 hourly is better to stay hydrated.

Sorry thats probably not much help, but just wanted to say your not alone I am praying it will end at 4 months but Im not holding my breath

Yep we had that here too as many other Mammas in our Due thread had. Like Toni, I just went with it, as frustrating as it is sometimes. Generally she would have four 45 min naps each day but by 6.5 mths (roughly) she had got herself into her own groove and has two 1.5-2 hour sleeps per day.

The alternative of 'training' her out of the cat-napping seemed like far too much work for me. Again like Toni, I would just let her sleep on me, get into bed with her and boob her back to sleep.

After all that, sorry no suggestions other than running with it. Like most things baby-related, I promise it won't last forever

I know I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but have you tried wearing him in a sling? And I don't mean a frontpack, but a proper sling like a mei tai or SSC? For a six week or so stretch, that was the only place my DD2 (4mo) would sleep for longer than 20 mins during the day. It was agony for the first few days but I eventually got stronger and more used to it, and it also allowed me to get on with my day and chasing around after my 3.5yo DD.

After that it was to my great relief that I discovered she'd sleep lying down in our master bed, so I had to quickly learn to feed her lying down and then try to slip out unnoticed once she was in a deeper sleep (I wouldn't budge until then). I like to think that somehow the smell of us (DH and I) was comforting to her, but it is also quite a dark room and this may have helped too.

I eventually made some haphazard blockout blinds with some fabric from Spotlight, and now if we are home she has most of her day sleeps in her own room, though we still feed to sleep first... I personally don't think we'd get very far if I tried to make her fall asleep before she was done boobing

I know you said you don't want to read "some experts" book, and I agree - some books are overrated. I am also not fond of 'experts' as I reckon the true expert on your baby is *you*... however, I would still highly recommend reading "Sleeping Like a Baby" by Pinky McKay. It has a few strategies you can try but also goes into a lot of the reasons why babies sleep like they do (or not, as may be the case). I found it very reassuring and it helped ease my mind about the way we do things with DD2.

So to sum up my novel... I agree entirely with those who have said to run with it, this too shall pass, etc... as I am learning now the second time around they grow up faster than I can really keep up with, and it is easier to try and be as relaxed as possible. Sometimes with the help of a glass of wine or two at night (still possible with breastfeeding!)



Edited by HippyMama

I found thesleepstore.co.nz - a great help for tips, I'm also not into books.

The other thing that really, really helped was the Fisher and Price Fish Aquarium - standard mobiles go for on average 2 minutes so mum or dad go in and rewind! The Aquarium plays music or swish sounds (can also have light) for almost 20 minutes, bubs would nod off with this instead of one of us going in every couple of minutes and trying to resettle and her getting excited.

Like everyone has said it will pass, and I'd go with whatever keeps you sane and helps your baby sleep. Don't worry too much about sleep associations, he is still young. Many of us have been there (we have gone through several phases of non sleeping) and just when I am ready to pull my hair out, she changes her patterns.

Letting her sleep on me was a lifesaver as it meant she got more sleep and was a happier baby.

One other thing- I'd try and put him down a bit earlier and see if that makes a difference. I found that the 20min sleeps were a sign of overtiredness and it's like a cycle that they get into.

Hope you have a smoother ride soon

Edited by jano1

bun_in_the_oven wrote: Can you tell me - when should i breastfeed him.. is there any hard and fast rule ??,,,,feed on waking .. before going to bed.. or both ?? he is a bit of a snacker and think he preferes two smaller feeds than the big one. hmmmm also should i breastfeed him first and then swaddle him ?? I have been swaddling him before a B/feed but that means hes falling asleep on the boobies

Now this depends - I personally don't believe in 'snack' feeding. I feed DD whenever she likes, I found this much easier than watching the clock to see if it was *time* for her to feed again (which we did do for all of about 1 week!)
Check out the LLL site - it has lots of good articles that put my mind at ease about the way I feed her (ie. no routine), especially when I felt pressure of the 'professionals' to get her into a routine.
And again - I still feed my DD before every sleep, sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she'll happily go into her cot afterward and settle herself. Regardless of what some people believe, I don't think that falling asleep on the boob is a bad thing - but then perhaps thats just me I find that having a nice warm milky drink before bed works wonders for me, so why not for my baby!?

Ah LLL site before I forget

I agree with the ladies above, if you think he is happier having the two smaller feeds then run with that and hopefully it will help.

Personally, I never fed C swaddled as I found it awkward and I had to keep him cool to feed or he would fall asleep and not drink anything (it's warm here and he was prem). So perhaps give it a go feeding unwrapped if you think it will help him drink more before he nods off. C still used to fall asleep on the (.) but it took longer IYKWIM. Then I would wrap him up and pop him in bed and he would stir but only a little

I have decided that one of the reasons it had been so hard to settle DS was that he was hungry. I had been feeding him when he woke up but he'd only feed for 15 minutes or so (sometimes less) and when he came off, I'd burp him and try again. If he still fussed or wasn't interested, I'd assume that he was full and so I wouldn't offer again.

I've now found (and I'm not sure whether this is all a coincidence or not) that if I keep offering during his awake time (once or twice more), he'll take it and as a result, he'd go down alot easier.

I feel a bit guilty about it now but hey, it's all a learning curve.

If you're doing that last feed, I would do it in somewhere other than the bedroom so that he doesn't use it as a sleep cue. Then once he's done, take him to the room, swaddle him etc.

We also have white noise playing (NOT the The Living End song) - Ocean waves downloaded off iTunes. It's only 10 minutes long but I burnt it to disc and have the disc on loop. That plays for every sleep and louder during the day so as to drown out other noises (like lawnmowers and barking dogs etc).

Good luck and hope that helps.

Great advice SpecialK. Ive tried the re-feeding before going back to bed but may try it at the 45 minute mark instead and see how he goes.

We also play white noise and also classical music. For the white noise I just put the radio between 2 stations and it works a treat

I also found that the more Jackson is stimulated (or over stimulated in our case) during his wake times the harder he is to get to sleep and the less he sleeps during his day naps. So Ive started doing less activities during his wake times.

ETA Spelling

Edited by rianna08