Dealing with the kids on my own - help!

Oh and time is of the essence in sorting a routine as I'm back to work in 2-3 weeks (only part time but working nights).

meal times:
Plan ahead and make up a weeks menus. one pot meals or stuff in the crockpot would be good so you dont have to do much at night (when it always seems to be worse.) chips and nuggets are easy, pasta with cheese and tomato (a hit here and good for just me and the kids), bacon and egg pie - can be made ahead...

bath times, you can do them both together, again some planing is required. get everything you need together and then quickly bathe bub and dry and dress her in the bathroom and you can still chat and look after jackson...maybe only bathing every second day might help too. those hooded towels are great here cause the boys wear them into the lounge and thy are almost dry by the time they get there.

you could wear ava, get a moby wrap or meitai and then you could even go outside and play with a ball while wearing her...

i would suggest geting rid of lots of clutter and toys and only bringing out what you want so you dont have a huge mess all over the house all the time (could do that myself maybe ...). making sure all doors are shut that lead to possible mischief areas.

will see if i can think of anything else. but i think mainly it will come down to planning and maybe you will just have to make clean up time after they are both in bed.

I'm not much help on the kids stuff, but for the meals, could you get someone round to help you do a big lot of cooking once a week? Or to take the kids while you cook? Make some big lasagne, macaroni cheese, stirfries etc that you can freeze in meal-sized portions and then just reheat to eat? That way your weekly cooking is done only one day a week.

Hugs Emz, it can't be easy for you. But let the house be a tip for while. Its not important right now - sleep is!

Meal times I always kept something quick and easy in the freezer, so I would cook extra when I made meals like cottage pie, spag bol, stews etc and freeze portions big enough for Spencer and me, also find quick and easy is pasta with tuna and a few cut up veges, I use tomato, cucumber and capsicum, cos they don't need cooking and they are always in the house. If worse come to worse then Spencer would get a sandwich and some fruit/yoghurt and I would eat after he had gone to bed. Sometimes I would cook dinner around lunch time as well when things didn't seem as crazy and then we would have lunch type food at dinner time, that way he still got one decent meal a day, we quite often still do this when Dh is on lates cos then we get to eat a meal together.

Bath time, do you have a baby bath? This is what I did, get Kyle's clothes, nappy etc all ready and take in the bathroom with me. Then I would put Spencer in the big bath and he would just entertain himself and I would bath Kyle on the bathroom floor in the baby bath and dry him do baby massage (if I could be asked and if he wasn't screaming) and dress him and then I would get Spencer out of the bath and let him run round the house naked whilst I fed Kyle and put him to bed, or if I could I would stick a nappy on Spencer and then leave him to it whilst I sorted Kyle out, still do that now actually. Once Kyle was too big for the baby bath then I bought a bath seat and they both go in the big tub together and now I just wrap Kyle in a towel then get Spencer out, and he still runs round naked whilst I sort Kyle out, but I don't need to feed Kyle right after his bath anymore.

Activities is a hard one, it was summer when Kyle arrived and Spencer had just got a sandpit and a water table for xmas so we used that a lot. Books were always good, drawing (but that depends on how good he is at keeping on paper and not drawing over the rest of the house). Keeping some toys to one side that he really loves that you can pull out when feeding is good as well, so some cars or a train or something. Snacks to give them and failing all that I would put a dvd on for him. When not feeding and to try and get some more one on one time with Spencer then I would just play with him and pop Kyle in the swing so he could watch. Spencer has always loved helping me do the housework as well, so a lot of the time it takes 5 times longer than without his help or I have to go back and redo things when he isn't looking (like putting the clothes on the airer properly) but at least I feel like something is getting done.

Also, I don't know how well you are feeling but I started going back to playgroup, coffee group, mainly music, swimming etc when Kyle was two weeks because although it was hassle and sometimes the last thing I actually wanted to do was leave the house it did mean that Spencer got all that interaction and was able to burn off energy and was less bored and frustrated so easier to deal with and I felt less guilt about not being able to spend time with him one on one and it also normally meant he would have a nap in the afternoon.

I have no idea how to help him with his daddy being away, maybe you could use a calendar and count down the days? He might be a bit too young to get that though, is hard when they are so little.

I can't really give advice yet either but *hugs* if I can ever help let me know!

re food Ethan (if he doesn't have what we had night before) often has frozen vege(just as good as real stuff) baked beans, tuna, pasta, and anything that can go in the george foreman..for quick meals.

You are amazing doing it yourself and surviving after your year I would have gone round the twist!

Oh and pasta bakes just throw into a dish raw pasta, pasta sauce maybe some tinned tuna and grate cheese on top i know families with more than 1 kid that live on those cos its sooooo easy

oh and i only have one kid and my house is a tip most of the time so dont stress but i have limited the toys josh has in certain rooms like the lounge so they are easy to clear away and only tidy the lounge up after he is in bed or quickly before someone comes over. I lux about once a week unless the floor is bad - the stuff josh eats off the floor in between is just building up immunities. I dont tidy rooms other people wont see i just shut doors (or in the case of the spare room put a deadbolt on it)

Food ...
Issy eats what we do and I cook it when Elias has a nap, its usually enough for two nights otherwise we just cook something quick like chicken nuggets or fish or give her a tin of watties little meals (and she feeds herself)

Bath...
Issy would scream the house down if she didnt get to have a bath everynight. Elias has a bath in the baby bath at about four and Issy either "helps" or entertains herself with toys. Issy has a bath about six and Elias is usually asleep (if not he just has to come in the bathroom)

Activities..
We rotate her toys weekly (we have five boxes) so she only sees them about once a month.

We put out one "big" toy (playdough table, tent, doll house, activity table, easel, etc) so that she has something extra special to play with, this is usually used during her late avo "wreck havoc" period when Im trying to feed Elias.

The playground is always easy too, Elias gets to sleep in the pram and Issy can climb and slide for ages

When Im feeding, Issy just brings me EVERY toy she has so I pretty much just talk to her about what she brings me, now its warmer I open up the sliding door and she draws on the concrete (which is right in front of the sofa, so I can see her)

Thankfully I dont always have to do it alone, but the routine means that if I do both kids know whats happening.

You will feel so great when it all falls into place

LOL Cuppatea, Willie does the same thing but with the broom - sweeps all the toys into the corner.

I second wearing Ava if at all possible - I used to bath the girls with lil miss in the Moby, and if she was unsettled I'd stick her in it while I pottered around with them and did housework etc.

There's lots of good ideas for easy meals here already, we do a lot of pasta bakes - I chuck in a can of tomatoes and frozen mixed veg with some tuna and a bit of grated cheese on the top and that's a one pot meal. Those Tegel takeouts are good too, I whack them in the sandwich press and then either make chicken burgers or wraps with them - canned pineapple, lettuce and tomato and it's a balanced meal.

Ohhh I third the baby wearing. checkout www.slingbabies.co.nz