Post-baby relations

LOL! 18 views and no comments, everyone must be getting it on!

I don't really have any answers for you either, but I hate it when there's loads of views and noone says hi!

My DS is nearly 4 1/2 months now and I reckon we've BD'd maybe three times? This will prolly sound really daggy but there's still "intimacy" between us though IYKWIM? You don't have to "do it" to keep things romantic before your wedding My DH works really long hours and hasn't coped as well as he thought he would with interrupted sleep (I'm positive he thinks he has the rough deal despite the fact it's me who actually has to get up and do the feeding?) so he's not exactly begging me for it anyway.

I think first's suggestion of getting someone to take over for the night so you can get some decent sleep is a good one. Things definitely started getting back to "normal" when my MIL was here (funnily enough) as she sent us off out for dinner on our own a couple of times and offered to do late feeds and then just didn't bring the monitor in afterwards (which could have pee'd me off I spose but TBH I was just grateful for the good night's sleep).

So, no real answers for you. But you're not the only one

Didn't wana read and run. Never had this prob myself I think I wanted it more than DP but I'm sympathetic.
Do you make time to connect with each other during the day/evening? I think a big thing that made it work for us was that we totally flirt with each other. He'll squeeze my bum secretly when we're out and we'll haul each other into a dark corner and make out, I'll whisper dirty things in his ear while he having a conversation with a mate and we have alot of time for fun (board games, walks, fave tv shows, etc with or without Jake).
It wasn't as easy when Jake was younger because I had to get up for him abit but he was sleeping for a minimum of 8 hrs a night by 7 weeks so it helped with the tired levels. Also getting it on at random times of the day (we'll often do it as soon as he gets home from work) it doesn't havta be at night. We shoot in the bedroom late on a saturday morning while Jakes playing outside and have a quickie. Def keeps things sizzling
Hope it works out for you chick x

Thank you for the responses, bless your hearts. X

Going to have a chat and a cuddle with DF tonight... and assure him that we're normal.

Yeah you guys are definitely normal & Babe's just making it all up

I got an IUCD at 6 weeks & it has freaked DH out somewhat! So there has been no bonking here either! Last time the midwife gave me an ultimatim to have sex by 6 weeks to make sure everything is working fine, or suffer a check....this time I've had 3 checks!

BUT....we are far more intimate this time around, it just hasn't passed over to the bedroom so to speak. DH also works long hours & is as tired as I am at the end of the day.

It will get better but you have to work at it & you almost need to do what Nikki has said..put a time limit on it. I think I'm going to have to do that.

Edited by Aliasmum

Hooray Jessdub, while I totally sympathise, I am SOOO glad I'm not the only one! We've done it twice.

Where oh where has my libido gone??

I think nzpiper may have a point, the more it's done, the more you may want it??

I hope your chat with your DF goes well tonight, it will be very good to let him know exactly how you feel.

Bahahaha gypsynita, that's classic, a sex reserve eh.

I'm feeling quite relieved that we're "normal" too. Definitely good point about the more you do it the more you want it. It's an exhaustion thing too though - when you make it to bed all you want to do is sleep when you know it's not going to be long before you need to get up again. I think in my case we need to try the time limit/ultimatum thing too, might make things interesting at least!

LOL Missangel...sometimes that stuff takes more effort

i think it depends how your labour was, ie tears etc. I had a c-sec but a week later was OK.

maybe you could go on a date night? maybe that would give you some time to reconnect

JessDub, I agree with the "you are completely normal!!!!" especially with a first baby. (things seen to go back to normal quicker with subsequent babies)

are you breastfeeding? Because breastfeeding has a LOT to answer for when it comes to post baby relations. You can assure DP that once BFing has stopped, things will return to normal

then of course there is time. The four letter word everyone wishes they had more of. Relations takes up precious sleeping time, so its often waaaaaaaaay down on the priorities list. I cannot put enough emphasis on how great afternoon snuggle time can be. You've got so much more energy than at nights!

When you do get the time another thing could be...well...after having a baby things can certainly feel different...stretched...and not be as sensitive or responsive as before. Give yourselves time to rediscover, well i dont really know how to put it but im sure you get my drift

hope the talk went well!

Amelia