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Forum LockedHelp! What happened to our sleep?!?!

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kmarie View Drop Down
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    Posted: 27 March 2009 at 10:33am
Has anyone else experienced this?

Bethany was a great sleeper up until 3mths old. She'd sleep 6-8hrs a night and go 9-10hrs between feeds overnight. Since turning 3mths old she's gone from bad to worse. Just before 5mths I started her on solids in the hopes that it would help but it hasn't seemed to make any difference at all, other than perhaps make her a bit more gripey.

She's been waking 4 hourly for a huge feed overnight. And in the last week she's started crying if we try and put her into her cot. She's fine with daytime sleeps and her initial bedtime, but after that I can be up for nearly an hour with her just trying to settle her. Last night we tried putting her to bed awake with our hand on her back etc., didn't work. I even tried wrapping her, she hated it. Tried putting her on her tummy, she fell asleep while I rubbed her back then woke 5mins later. We let her fall asleep on us and put her into bed (which has worked whenever we've done it in the past), she just woke and cried. So against our better judgment we let her cry a bit but it got us nowhere. Gave her a top up at 12am to see if that helped, but no. So finally at 1am we gave in and she slept with us for the night. Though she stirred earlier, she didn't feed until 6am - she went 6hrs without a feed!!!!

Has anyone else experienced this? Does it get better by itself or do you have any tips???

Am wondering about going cold turkey and stopping any feeds between her 10:30ish feed and 6am. Poor DH will get the job of going in to her. Is this wise? Also just bought a safe T sleep cuz think that she might sleep better with something firm around her tummy as she seems to like that.

I am SO sleep deprived I can't think straight most of the time. PLEASE tell me this will end!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by kmarie


twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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chonny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chonny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 11:18am
big huge hugs hun! Will give you one in person when you get here.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeLoved Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 12:12pm
Sorry I don't have any suggestions except to try posting your question on the baby whisperer site, they are very helpful and have lots of suggestions for things you can try.

Hugs to you and I hope you get some sleep soon!!
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AandCsmum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AandCsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 12:20pm
Have you tried a sleep sack? I think I put A in one around Bethany's age.
Kel


A = 01.02.04   &   C = 16.01.09   &   G = 30.03.12
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kmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 12:29pm
Yeah she's been in one since about 2mths old. It doesn't seem to make any diff to her whether she's in it or out of it. Ta for the suggestion tho Kel!

Thanks Aimee, may try that!


twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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emz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 1:10pm
If you want to try and get her off the night time bottles (I was always told that they have the ability to sleep through at that age so it's either habit, illness, teething, a fright or purely being stubborn!) you could try giving her warm water in the bottle instead of milk. She'll think its very strange and after a while (well this happened for DS) thought there was no point in waking up as she won't be getting anything 'good' as such.

Also good idea about getting your DH to go in. A lot of the time they do just want comfort etc and the men seem to be able to stop that pattern a lot quicker.

Does she have a comfort toy? If she is too attached to you, you could introduce one and that takes the focus off you at nightime and more onto the toy/blanket.

Do you think she could be ill in any way? Ear infection? Is she teething? Maybe try angling her mattress to see if that relieves any pressure. Also if she's too cold or too hot that could make a difference.

Sorry don't have any more advice but just wanted to give you some helpful hints in case you haven't tried some of them. I've had a teething child since 10 weeks old (no bull!) who only sleeps through half the week cos he's constantly cutting teeth so I know how zombie-like us mums can get after a while
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busyissy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 1:24pm
Although not at all comforting it is very normal to start having sleep issues from 3 months onwards. It is because their sleep pattern changes and they have become more aware as well. Its a long hard slog to get them to learn to fall asleep independantly. Have a look at the sleepstore.co.nz. They have some good resources that could help.
Of course there is also a whole raft of issues that could be causing it as well, growth spurt, teething, over tiredness, hunger, thirst, sleep associations (being you & DH) and sometime is just seems like its just subborness. Another idea would be to visit your local family centre they will be able to give you some advice on techniques to get her down to sleep. From experience though I think that it is about choosing a technique that suits your parenting philosophies and just sticking with it until bubs gets the message, and once they have bad habits that can take months.
Good luck!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mum2ET Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 1:32pm

This isn't going to be much help....but Ella was a perfect night sleeper until 3 months and was sleeping through, then suddenly she hit a growth spurt around then and starting waking up for feeds....we started her on solids just after 4 months and it didn't make any difference. Now......at 21 months she is STILL waking up at least once during the night and I can count the number of times she has slept through on my hand.

So...based on my experience, I would definintely try and not feed her during the night if you can help it (or at least try and stretch out the feeds), as it can very quickly get into a bad habit and as they get older it is much harder to fix (and they get much more stubborn).

good luck and I hope she does settle down soon

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Ella (5) and Tom (2)
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rascal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rascal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2009 at 8:22pm

Hi.  Not much help I'm afraid.

I agree with the warm water at night.  Cayley was the same.  Slept through, then decided she needed a feed in the middle of the night.  I decided she didn't - took a few nights and then she slept through again.  Plus also get DH to do the settling the times that she doesn't need feeding (assuming you're BF) because weird as it sounds, she will smell you & want milk!

For the crying when you put her in the cot - is this only at night??  If so, maybe she still has some wind down ther somewhere? Or perhaps as emz suggested something like an ear infection if upset all the time.

Hugs to you though - 3 months with stuff all sleep sucks!!

Hope this helps a little.



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kmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 1:31pm
Thanks for all your tips!

Emz how DO you do it? Yes we use a toy (one of those blankie toys), partly to keep her dummy in and partly to keep her hands occupied so she doesn't keep grabbing ours! I know she was too cold last week so we've stepped up the layers and she seems just right, nice and warm now. Wondered about teething etc. so had pamol as a fallback last night.

Ta for the tip mum2Ella, that's good to know so that I DO do something about it now!

Thanks Saffron, your final sentence is what I've come to believe in my reading and experience so far. Glad to know I'm not alone in having sleep issues!

Rascal I think you might be right about the wind - helped having a friend spend some time with her yesterday cuz she commented on how windy she was - being my first baby it's hard to know what's normal and what's excessive! So put a few things in place last night to help with the wind side of things.

Here's the rundown of our night in case you're interested...

So our night... munchkin was asleep on me by 7:30, took us until 8:30 to figure out the safe t sleep at which point we put her in it. She sighed, snuggled her toy and drifted back off to sleep - ahhh bliss! I got up at 10:30 to give her a dream feed, she had a huge feed without waking at all, yay. She woke at 12:30 so DH was on duty from then. She wasn't too happy at first with dummy & patting so he picked her up and she snuggled into him but refused to be put down in her cot no matter how asleep she was or how many times poor dh tried. I was in and out of the room (below her eye level lol) making suggestions or giving mike ideas for what to do. Gave her pamol at 2:30am then he tried putting her down again but finally at 3am he couldn't take it any more. (He got a bee sting on his head on Wed and it's gone to his muscles above his neck and has been really achy ever since. So my hubby who refuses to take panadol has been taking it regularly, poor guy.) At that point I took her and put her into bed on her side which took strength to hold her there cuz she just wanted to flail wildly. Finally settled her, we both went to bed. I got up to her twice, once to roll her back on her side and once when she'd flicked to her back so I put the dummy back in without her seeing me. She then slept from 3:15 to 7:30am. 9 hours without a feed and she really didn't seem to mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight's goal is for her to SLEEP that 9 hours. Can you imagine? Pure bliss!! Ok so I sincerely doubt it'll happen that quickly, but we'll keep working on it.


twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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chonny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chonny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 1:41pm
Krisdty, sounds like it went really well considering last night. If she keeps rolling to her back, why not roll a small blanket up & place it at her back to stop her from being able to roll over?


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kmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 4:27pm
Hmmm good thinking!!! Should I put it inside her safe t sleep or outside do u think?


twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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kmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 4:31pm
Actually, just put one on the outside of her safe t sleep now since she's asleep but I think she slides as she turns so it may not make any diff. So inside maybe?


twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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emz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 6:50pm
Yeah inside could work, as long as you're not worried about her turning and not being able to get away from it etc. But sounds like a good idea!

Great about the 9 hours without a feed! It may be wishful thinking that she sleeps that 9 hours TONIGHT, but I reckon if you keep doing that so that she learns she doesn't get a feed, she may just sleep through that period. Keep us posted!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rascal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2009 at 7:39pm

Yay for the 9 hours last night!

Good luck with tonight. 

Don't get discouraged if the next few nights are rough.  Once Bethany gets the idea, will be absolutely worth it!  (Takes at least 3 to 4 consistent days - sometimes longer to make a habit!  Just keep reminding yourself of that!)



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