Saying "no"

Sheena, I use no with Ollie. I just try and do it consistently and don't use it that often. I can imagine he will be the same once he's crawling though.

I just make sure that my tone of voice is quite different when I'm saying it so that he starts to recognise the tone of voice as serious even if he doesn't yet understand the word. At the moment he just stops what he's doing, has a good look at my face, and then giggles

We started saying 'no' to Dominic about the same time. It does take them a little time to learn that the word 'no' and the concept of "I shouldn't be doing this" go together! He is 22 months old and now he checks to see where I am before doing something that he knows he shouldn't If he sees me looking at him he says 'no' and does it regardless! Its so frustrating but then he'll do something cute or lovely and I just can't stay mad. Im sure parenting is 80% acting!

Ha ha Flissty. We do the same. 'Gentle touching Mummy's face', same with pulling hair, glasses, noses, ears etc etc etc.

We started about then too, when he started crawling. We used 'not for Jackson' to start with and removed him from the situation and gave him a more 'appropriate' toy to play with. Yeah unfortunately they see it as exploring and being helpful, like 'look mummy I found a pot for you to cook in, shame I pulled another 5 out at the same time and then put dents in them, but at least I'm trying' instead of being naughty.

I think you get good at spotting them eyeing things up too, like if we see Jack going towards something we start distracting him before he even gets there and now he doesn't even seem to notice things like DH's Xbox or anything.

But yeah, you'll probably find he'll understand no, but do it anyway until he's old enough to realise no means stop what you're doing, turn around and find something more appropriate! lol a lot for wee ones to comprehend

Oh cool so it sounds like we are on the right track.

We dont growl him as such, just so no sternly so he understands that he isnt supposed to do that. When he does things like pulls my glasses off my face, pulls my hair, fingers up my nose(thats not a nice one lol he just started doing that!) I will say "caden dont pull mummys hair" "caden mummy need her glasses to see" lol, in a gentle tone.

Its just when he does things like shake the speakers and pull all the dvds out of the shelf that he gets told no and we put him by his toys. I try and not say it too much to, him, a lot of the time I will just move him back to his toys, but 9/10 he will just go right back to the speakers or the to the stereo and turn the volume up and down lol

Edited by Sheza

busymum wrote: It may only be another month or two before he grows out of being easily distracted. You'll know when - you'll move him away and he'll make a quick beeline! Fun times!!

Oh so true! Eimear is at that stage.

Also keep consistent with it. After a months holiday I'm back to the beginning with what the girls can and can't touch

I was going to post a topic about this too!!!

We have a dvd recorder that cant be baby proofed, Jackson is constantly heading for it. Sometimes I will say "no!!!" and he turns and looks at me, then makes a "grrrrrr" noise, then moves away. Other times he just keeps heading for it, despite me moving him away from it. This morning I would move him and put him in front of his toys, but he'd head straight back for it. So sometimes no is working, and other times he thinks its a great game.

Plunket told me last week NOT to say the word NO to them, because its too negative? I tried saying things like "We dont do that Jackson" But I wonder how on earth he would learn at such a young age? At least "no" is just one word!

I've heard that at a young age, babies don't really hear the 'no' part, just the rest, eg. if you say "no, don't play with the remote" - all they hear or understand is the play with the remote part, no tthe no part!

Not sure if it's true, but we try to use distraction with DD who is 12 months instead e.g. no, we don't do that, come and play with this book instead etc. Can't tell if it's working yet!

oh also , this friend used the distraction technique, all the time , worked for about 5 mins .

Basically what Im saying is, your the parent, your the boss, make sure they know that from an early age, because its a lot harder to change their attitude once they get older.
Caitlyn knows who the "boss" is (moi ,and DF ) and if she does act up,all it takes is us to say " 1 ......2...." and before 3 shes stopped what shes doing , have no idea what she thinks will happen when we get to 3 tho , hmmm.

When they start toddling another good thing to teach them is the "go stop " game , Caitlyn always wanted to walk a few paces a head when we walked down to the dairy (3 houses down ) so I would call out GO ! and STOP constantly , she thought it was great fun, and if she did get too far ahead (they are blimming quick !) then I would call stop, til I caught up, then "go ! " again .

As Caitlyn got older , and therefore faster, it was important to come up with something that she was happier to do , as she thought it was a game.

Hmm, yeah , everyone has there own ways of parenting, but I still stand by what I say, most important thing is to let them know you are the boss, all the kids with shocking behaviour I know , have all been given the impression that they are the boss, not the parents.
And its a lot harder to change the behaviour when they are 2, than when they are one .
Because my friend's daughter has no respect for anyone , my friend doesnt even feel like she can take her out in public , which is really sad, she isn't even enjoying her child .
And having the experience with a child who I have told off many times over the nearly seven years of her life, I can definetly vouch for the fact that they ARE very forgiving , and don't hold grudges, children are a lot more forgiving than adults.
basically, if you tell them off, they WONT stop loving you .

If people don't want to use "no" and another way works , thats fine, just make sure that whatever way is used,the baby knows you are in charge .