Am I expecting too much from m/w?

Being a first time mum, I don't really know how involved the m/w is supposed to be, but she makes me feel like I'm bugging her every time I ring to ask about something. Now I've only rung her 3 times during the whole pg, and one of those was to make an appt time.

I started having cramping last Wednesday (like a week and a half ago) and she finally sent me to the hospital on Tuesday when it was getting unbearable. She didn't fax all of my notes through that she was supposed to have, but never got from my specialist, so the hospital had to do a big chase up to get all the facts. M/w then said she would ring me later to see how I was doing but she was 'kind of busy with a few other ladies a bit further along than you'. Not a word since Tuesday. Also supposed to have a follow up scan towards the end of this week, she hasn't sent the form out.

At the appt's she doesn't even read my pregnancy book where you write all the discomforts down or anything, so what's the point in me even writing it down?

I just feel like it's a bit slack and seeing as I have to now go under specialist care due to the issues over the last couple of weeks compounding other issues that were already there, I would expect a bit more care and concern, as well as information.

Am I expecting too much from her? I didn't really have a choice of m/w as she was my 20th call and I had to beg her to take me.

No, I don't think you are expecting too much at all! She sounds a little slack actually!

Sorry I can't offer any help or anything though!

i say change...i thought mine was slack for not returning the odd call but nothing like yours... I'd say go with the specialist:)

Just for your info I must admit mine seemed a little slap happy and annoyed by my questions sometimes too until recently. Since I have hit 30 weeks and am going once a fortnight to visit her she had been absolutely amazing, so helpful and is interested in every little detail about me and my pregnancy now. It seemed to me while you are in the second trimester they tend to relax a little IMO. I don't know if thats normal or not, but thats what I put it down to!

Edited to add but I think in your case because you are going under a specialist that she would have put more effort into your care.

Edited by peachy

well, you did say that you practically had to beg her to take you... so maybe she honestly doesnt have the time or inclination. I dont know where you live but is changing to a hospital team an option?
as a first time mum you do need to be "pampered" a bit more than a repeat client and you do need more support and encouragement. and you have to feel comfortable with her too.

Thanks for your support ladies!

I was under specialist care for the first 12 weeks of pg and tried all of his m/w's but they were all booked out, so this really was a last option. She's a nice person but just seems to not realise how when you've never done this before, you have no idea what's going on! Plus I've got all of these other people saying how I need to tread lightly so bubs doesn't make an early appearance, and her saying its no big deal. I guess she does have a lot of experience, but I like to be treated as more than just a number IYKWIM.

Hopefully when I start seeing the specialist (at 28 weeks) he or she can put it into perspective for me and offer a bit more sound advice and concern for my care.

I changed because mine made me feel like a nuisance. Mine was supposed to be one of the top midwives but I just felt stressed every time I saw her. I changed to someone who was good but didn't have that 'top' reputation. I was much happier with her.

Poor Emz ...

I went with a hospital team and I must say I think its great!  My midwife is lovely and is always interested at each visit I make....and as she is part of a hospital team I get anything I need done organised and I dont even need to leave the building :)

I dont usually have to ring her about anything but today I rang as my lower back is killing me from lugging this baby around and she organised physio on the spot!