Unexpected Babies

Hey,
Just noticed theres no topic for the unexpected mothers such as myself.
Feels a bit lonely being around lots of people who have planned their babies and made sure they can afford it etc.
I was wondering if others had unexpected babies and how they are coping. I know it was a big shock to me and I'm just now starting to look forward to it.
Also with unexpected babies how have other fathers coped? I know my partner is more stressed out about it than I am, and I'm actually quite worried about him.
Anyway anyone is welcome to post their thoughts and opinions on unexpected babies, please feel free!!!

My girl was an unexpected blessing - I'd made plans to move overseas, I'd just sent my partner across the ditch to find us a house (he had a job offer, I was taking care of the last bills/tidying up our loose ends here before I joined him in a few weeks).

So there I was with a BFP, and I had to ring him in another country.... there was a shocked silence on the other end, and I told him that it was his choice - if he wasn't ready for a child, no problem, Ill do it on my own, if he wants to be part of a family, I'd stick with our plan and be there in a few weeks time.

Within days, he was excited, and upset he missed out on the early doctor's appointments. He was great about me being pregnant, but very scared of being a dad - lots of worry about "am I going to be good dad?" "will I be able to support them?" "is this the way all pregnant women act?" "OMG I'm going to be a DAD.."

When our daughter arrived, it was a steep learning curve for him - he'd only ever had to worry about himself, and it took lots of communication and a fair few arguments before he got the hang of putting somebody else first. There were times I felt it would be easier on my own, but it really was worth battling through those tough times to get where we are now - I'm a stay-at-home mummy, he works really hard to provide for us. When he gets home, her face lights up, and you can see how much he loves her.

And nothing in the world was better then seeing him at the birth, the tears rolling down his face were beautiful, at that moment I knew we would be fine in the end.

My first was definetly not planned , I was 19 and had only been with the guy for about a week (what a ho! lol) it was a shock , and I was very scared ,the father and I didn't stay together but remained friends, its been 7 years of challenges , but I wouldn't change a thing, shes changed my life and really is the best thing that ever happened to me .
Second baby DH and I planned , but even so , when I saw those 2 lines , I was freaking out , and DH didn't think he could be a good dad, turns out he was wrong, hes a GREAT dad , to number 2 and number 1.

I think in situations like this , you just gotta take each day at a time , and remember ,that whether a baby is planned or not , every parent is a first time parent at some stage, and just because they might have planned the baby , doesn't mean they are any more knowledgable than someone who got a surprise .

All the best

Hey, I am having an unexpected baby. Also probably going to be a single mum too so that makes it a bit harder but this baby is going to be well cared for and very loved :)

Wow,
Thats so reassuring and great for you all as well, I like to think things will work out, I'm also sort of relieved my partner is sticking with me seeing as we were only together a month b4 I / (we politically correct) got pregnant. He's reacting a bit like your DH lizzie, his eyes sort of glaze over now I'm getting excited over baby stuff, and he's worried about supporting us and being a good dad, though if hes anything like his own father he will be great. I like both his parents and they and my mum have been very supportive (if a little shocked hes younger than I am O.o).
Thankyou for your support ladies, have a good weekend.
And good luck chex!!

Angiebabe - stick to your guns. You've wanted and tried for a baby for a long time, and it's your body. Just tell the sperm donor that he doesn't have to be a Dad (Dad and father are two very different things.)

Wow, just want to say Congratulations Angiebabe!! I guess this little one is just meant to be

DD1 was definitely unexpected, at only 18 and with (now) DH only a few months it was a real shock to find we were pregnant. Of course we had no idea how we were going to survive but we did just fine.

Having a wee surprise isn't going to end your life, it just changes the direction a little.

I've had two surprise pregnancies, the first at 21 with a horrible horrible abusive man I had just managed to get away from, although being young and scared and pregnant, we stuck together for two years after that.     Sam is my whole world and I believe he is really something special and here on this earth for a purpose.    From enduring such a horrific time in my life, he's a massive ray of light and sunshine that came from it.

Second pregnancy, I had known my current partner two weeks!    We're still together, planning on getting married and he a wonderful father to Sam and I know he will be to this baby too.

And even though my ex never wanted children and wanted me to get a termination, and despite the fact that he is a cruel, bitter man even he can't resist the charm of Sam!

Sorry to threadjack but OMG!!! congrats Angiebabe!!! Sorry to hear of the events of the last few months, but congrats on you finally getting a bub to call your own I am sure you will make a great mum, you have held out for SO long! I can understand why you wouldnt want to give up this little miracle you've been handed, I wouldnt either!

Back to the topic at hand, my son was a major whoopsie.. I was 19 and was not interested in all at kids, I had missed my depo injection a few weeks earlier as I wasn't working (had not long moved and was struggling to find a job since we lived out of town and I had no licence) and couldnt pay the doctors bill from being sick a month earlier, went to BILs wedding and 2 weeks later wondered why I hadnt had an af yet since it had been 2-3 months since I had been due for another Depo shot... I was engaged but in no hurry to get married, my sons dad would have been about 23/24 at the time and he tried to suggest we 'sort it out' but there was no way I'd go down that road, I just couldnt face that possibility... he will be turning 6 years old in just under 2 weeks, it has been a damn hard road (I did marry his dad but we called it quits a year later) full of court hearings over who gets custody (ironically dad never wanted him, the grandparents did!) and even now his dad is barely there... I honestly believe if it wasnt for HIS parents keeping their feet in the door to keep it from closing, he just wouldnt bother with B at all!

4.5 years after leaving his dad, my partner of about 4 years and I are parents to another baby and she was very much planned, and I love both my kids, planned or not!Even better, my partner treats my son as his own kid, and takes him everywhere that he would have done had B really been his kid, hes great with him, and I dont think I could have chosen a better person to be with

Sorry to threadjack - AngieBabe, huge congrats!! Even though they aren't the best of circumstances, and this year hasn't been great for you. you will be a fantastic mum!!! Your little bean is a very lucky little bubs

I found out I was pg when (now) DH and I had been together for approx 6 weeks. We had also just found out that someone else was also pg to DH from the week before we had got together (long story,). There were lots of tears and questions, and for us it unfortunately ended in m/c (and the other woman told us she had a termination - entirely her own choice, DH was fully prepared to be a dad to the baby but was not prepared to start a relationship with her). However, here we are over 2 years later, married with 2 little girls - it was a rough start to our relationship but it forced us to really look at how we felt about each other.