Desparetly Needed BFing Help!

Riley is one week old today.... and i was wondering if at this stage in time (or actually any stage) did you have a problem with incredibly long feeds? it took 3 1/2 hours to give him his midnight feed last night.... he is normally 11/12ish then about 3/4ish then again at about 7/8ish (which makes mummy very happy) except last night (and yesterday lunch time) it took him FOREVER to have a feed.... by the time we finished a feed, he was technically due for his next one...

While in hospital (CS) we had alot of problems with him latching and me being in intesnse pain to the point that i was actually shuddering and we had to feed him EBM via a tube and syringe but now that we are home, latching is not the problem, keeping the latch is...

We have been sticking at the BFing with gusto and now have pain free feeds and 75% of the time we have a pain free latch (on both boobs, even the crappy flat nipple side) without nipple shields, but when he has a good latch, he will pull himself off and start screaming again.... can sometimes be 5-6 times a minute. in reality he probably only had about 45 mins to an hour of feeding, the rest of the time was him screaming. and he also falls asleep on the boob alot, so i try to wake him up with the simple act of putting my boob back in his mouth, but again he screams. he also screams that hard that even if my boobs if so far in his mouth its making his screams muffled, he can't figure out that he has to calm down.


am going to ring my MW today and ask whats up because it shouldnt take that long. its also a 2 person job because i need DP to hold his hands out of the way (even when we tightly wrap his hands by his sides he somehow figures out how to get them out... and it shouldnt be a) 3 1/2 hours to feed or b) a 2-man job. but was just wondering if anyone else has had this problem?

has nothing to do with my milk supply.... on my 4th day in hospital i pumped 110mls in 15 mins. and i need 2 maternity pads down my bra for leaking. a breast pad will fill and start seeping after half n hour. also (i found this quite hilarious yesterday) when i was having a shower i was doing some get-rid-of-the-lumps hand expressing, and was actually squirting so far that i wrote my name on the wall of the shower in EBM hahaha.




im loosing my mind and both DP and i broke down last night after his 3rd hour of on-off feeding.

ill take any tips and advice you have!

thanks HippyMama!

have had the lactation consultant check for tongue tie at the hospital before we left and thats fine luckily.

i was thinking about diet but sometimes he will stay latched for 15-20 mins without a prob, but then pull off and scream.

but really good point about the neck/spine thing!

oh yeah LLL forgot about them! (but then again ill be lucky to know what day it is lol)

thanks heaps!

ahahahahahaha he hates feeding when DP is awake in the room. hopped in the shower to express a bit since they were big time engorged. came back to feed and he was fussy. sent DP to go get me a bucket of hot water and some teatowels to get heat on my boob to make them flow easier for him and he latched calmly and fed until DP got back. got really fussy and DP suggested maybe it was him coz everytime he has either been in the shower or asleep i have fed changed and put him to sleep with almost complete ease, so he went into the lounge room to watch the soccer and he hasnt de-latched since he left. in fact he is so calm that as im typing he is currently feeding. maybe he justr likes quiet mummy-feeding time...

but MW coming round soon so will stil have a chat and defo still ring LLL. but this is an interesting discovery lol.

That sure is an interesting discovery Khalia! Maybe he finds DH distracting / overstimulating (or thinks he gonna steal the good stuff )

In the night time we would feed lying down in bed, it was much more relaxing for me and snuggly too, very low light, no talking etc get the job done and little one back to bed. I'd keep DS wrapped to keep his hands out of the way and it worked for us.

I also agree that its very early days and you are both still learning and getting your rythym so go easy on yourselves, you'll have good days and not so good ones and it will be another few weeks yet before you'll wonder that BFing was ever stressful

My MW said that anything over an hour's worth of feeding was probably your boob being used for comfort rather than food. Nothing wrong with that in itself but sometimes we mistake their tired signs for hunger and really baby just needs to be settled to sleep rather than given more booby.

oooh the hands thing! I was beside myself in frustration a good few times in the early days when she was frantically trying to feed but wouldn't get her hands out of the way, I had one hand holding my boob, the other supporting her head, and then had to get DH to come over and hold her hand or both hands out of the way to get latched on, and yes, then she'd unlatch and her hands would get in the way again! At one week, I agree with others it is early days (still mega frustrating though!), but having got nipple issues sorted already is a great bonus, and a good milk supply... hang in there!

yeah im going to have to find a way to wrap him with his arms out of the way. they really bug me. then when they hit, pinch or scratch your nipple OMG!

should really invest in a sling or wrap. love the moby wraps but the price is a bit high. might need to try and make one i reckon.




thanks for all your help!

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I third the osteopath ;)
And the fast flow suggestions.
And the moby wrap/sling idea. They're actually really easy to make - you just need to buy about 4-5m of breathable stretchy fabric, cut it in half down the middle and hem all the way along the non-selvaged edge so that it tapers down to about 10cm wide at each end. Or keep an eye out on TM - sometimes people sell their homemade ones or you might get a good deal on a moby.

Also, there are lots of diff kinds of wraps out there and some work really well and others not so well depending on your bubs. Maybe go into a baby factory or something (or check the sleep store online) and ask to see if they recommend any? Or use a normal muslin wrap and wrap him firmly & back-to-front so that it's harder for him to get loose.

Oh, one other thing - are you burping him frequently? Particularly if you've got fast flow, he may be getting full of wind and finding it painful to keep feeding. In hindsight I think if I'd been better at burping Bethany it would've helped her hugely. (I had fast flow too - by the time we'd got suppy/demand sorted she'd finish an entire feed in 5-7mins max!)

Hugs hun - and hang in there! It does take a long time to adjust, and right when you think you've got it sorted along come another growth spurt or similar just to throw you! Try to relax and go with the flow - your mummy instincts are definitely worth trusting :) x

I have two suggestions. First, do you have a Plunket Family Centre in Dunedin? I had major breastfeeding problems for the first 4wks of Nathan's life and was close to giving up, but through perseverence and their help, we managed it in the end! And only now I've just managed to wean him from nipple shields. So I know exactly the kind of stress it creates and all the emotions you go through and the stress and craziness.

If you don't have a Plunket Family Centre - do you have a La Leche League? I had both help me and I'm really grateful. Advice online is limited - you really need that support and expert "hands on" help. 3.5hr-long feed doesn't sound normal to me. 1hr would be but definitely sounds like a latch problem. Maybe a sucking problem on baby's part. Was baby premmie? But again, see Plunket/LLL - they have seen every problem in the book.   

Nathan's hands used to get in the way for me too. Use your body to put pressure (not to hurt) on one arm so he can't get it out, and hold the other hand while you're latching baby on. Once on it doesn't matter that their hands settle onto your breast, that's natural.

Unfortunately for the first 4wks of life, Nathan had EBM via a bottle in the end (tried every other way to give it first of course). In order to get him off the bottle, I had to put him on nipple shields. One thing I have learned with Nathan is that he pops off the boob and cries for a few reasons: 1) there may be wind (so try burping), or the milk is not coming out fast enough (in my case he was used to the bottle), or 3) he's just not used to change and gets upset that it's not what he's used to.

It's possible your baby is complaining that there's no nipple shields anymore if it's only recently that you've weaned so you could try popping one on again (if winding doesn't work) and see if that helps? Weaning from nipple shields can take time and in my case I waited till Nathan was 3mths old as his mouth was big enough to get a good latch naturally. With nipple shields their latch is quite lazy because they don't have to open their mouth wide to get adequate milk.

And the final "perhaps" is that your baby just may be upset because if baby doesn't have a good suck, may be getting upset at not getting enough milk.

Just some ideas for you to try, but the experts are best at this thing and can see what's happening so try them ultimately. Good luck!

P.S. One thing to remember is if you are stressed and tense, so will baby be. Even if you FEEL stressed, MAKE yourself relax your arms holding your baby. A tense arm behind their back makes them upset when feeding and object to it.

Edited by newlywed

i have a similar problem with my 4wk old girl not at all feeds but at least half of them were she kind of mouths my nipple and jiggles her head for a bit then starts to cry it gets so frustrating at 5am