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1st_Time_Preggies 
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Location: Auckland
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 Topic: Unhappy baby, unhappy mum :-(
Posted: 21 February 2010 at 7:19pm |
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My DS is two weeks old, and seems to manage sleeping at night ok, but from about 7.30am onwards, he is grizzly, hard to settle, won't feed properly and won't sleep. Is this normal??? At night he falls asleep after a feed, but during the day won't do this. Today he finally fell asleep on my tummy but as soon as I moved him he was wide awake and starting crying. I can get him to sleep once he has had a ride in the car, but I only wanted to use this as a last resort, not an everyday thing. However, I am doing it almost every day in desperation.
I am so anxious and upset all the time about it, I HATE it. I feel totally insecure and useless as a mum :-( It is getting to the point where I DREAD him waking up (if he gets to sleep!) and I am not enjoying him at all :-(
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SpecialK
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 7:34pm |
You poor thing! I am sure you are doing a great job as a mum 
Re not feeding properly - are you BF or FF? Is he constipated? Has he got reflux? Has he got wind that he is struggling to bring up? Is he well? Not running a fever, no ear ache, hasn't got a cold?
How long do you keep him up before you put him back down? At 2 weeks he really shouldn't be up for more than 1 hour (we did the eat, change, sleep routine in the early days).
What's his back to bed routine? We always did the same thing - wrap, cuddle and shush, then placed to sleep in his basket. Sometimes we took him for a walk or rocked him to sleep in the buggy if he was really unsettled.
I am not sure where in Auckland you are, but a Plunket family centre was a bit of a life saver a couple of times - they are wonderful, and you could always go there for half a day to get some help with feeding and settling to sleep.
Good luck hun x
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weegee
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 7:45pm |
 It feels like it will last forever, but I promise it will pass!  Another thing I can promise is that you are NOT a useless mum, the fact that you are worried about it and asking for help proves it
It sounds like he's getting overtired (which would be why he's so easily disturbed when he drops off). When they're that little, the first wake of the day seems to be critical - get him up, get him fed and changed, and pretty much get him straight back down again if you can.
There are lots of techniques for settling babies back to sleep - check out The Sleepstore for one source of information, there are also masses of videos on YouTube showing ways of settling babies.
If you're trying to feed him to sleep, wind may also be a problem?
My standard advice is, if moving them away from you disturbs them, don't do it! Check out Slingbabies for lots of information on ways of wearing your baby, you can get a lot done with a sleeping baby on you in a sling or wrap, and there are lots of reasons to wear them
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Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010
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melopop
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:02pm |
Aaaawww.....I totally wish I could give you a big hug right now! Those first few weeks are the toughest! I used to get that sinking feeling when he woke up too, thinking "Oh no - here we go again!!"
People tell you things will get better, but it's hard to imagine when your bubba wont sleep, you are tired and it all feels never ending........... I promise you everyone feels insecure and useless at some stage but it will get better. I was the same at the beginning - now 8 weeks down the track it just gets better and better.
The previous 2 ladies gave great advive - are you wrapping him? That can help. Don't beat yourself up about how you get him to sleep right now. I had to feed to sleep for the first 4 weeks. He is still so little and probably wants to be close to his mummy. I think a sling might be a good idea. Ask your midwife as many questions as you need and perhaps get her to observe a feed to check latching etc
Hang in there chick!!
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peanut butter
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:12pm |
 weegee wrote:
It feels like it will last forever, but I promise it will pass! Another thing I can promise is that you are NOT a useless mum, the fact that you are worried about it and asking for help proves it
It sounds like he's getting overtired (which would be why he's so easily disturbed when he drops off). When they're that little, the first wake of the day seems to be critical - get him up, get him fed and changed, and pretty much get him straight back down again if you can.
There are lots of techniques for settling babies back to sleep - check out The Sleepstore for one source of information, there are also masses of videos on YouTube showing ways of settling babies.
If you're trying to feed him to sleep, wind may also be a problem?
My standard advice is, if moving them away from you disturbs them, don't do it! Check out Slingbabies for lots of information on ways of wearing your baby, you can get a lot done with a sleeping baby on you in a sling or wrap, and there are lots of reasons to wear them |
what she said!!! God I remember those days....if it makes you feel better you will have "useless mum" days right through....I have them regularly then I think "to hell with it, I'm the best mum they have" 
Do whatever it takes to get him to sleep....buggy (great for you too), then you can bring the buggy into his room afterwards so he gets used to his room. Hammock? you can make it move and be near him without having him attached to you.
and as weegee said IT WILL NOT BE FOREVER...but god it feels like it
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peanut butter
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:13pm |
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oh another thing I found REALLY useful was white noise (aka vacuum cleaner). You dont actually have to clean but turning it on outside their room often helps get them to sleep.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 10:41pm |
1st_Time_Preggies wrote:
My DS is two weeks old, and seems to manage sleeping at night ok, but from about 7.30am onwards, he is grizzly, hard to settle, won't feed properly and won't sleep. Is this normal??? |
yep... for me it was 4/6 till 10 pm. some call it the witching time! LOL. They do out grow it.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 12:20am |
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The first six weeks I've always found to be the worst, the amount of times DH came home to find me in tears because I was apparently the worlds worst mother, wife and housekeeper are too many to count .
They do pass tho , he is still adjusting to the world, just as you are still adjusting to being a mum ...just give it time .
Pretty much every mum,especially first time mums, felt like this .
But , from someone that was a "useless first time mum " (and in hindsight, I was actually pretty damn good ) your child will not grow up to resent you if you don't always get it right, and you ARE allowed to make mistakes and not be perfect....noone is born a mother, its something that is learned, by making mistakes along the way .
Hope you feel better soon , sounds like you are doing a great job
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mummyofprinces
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 8:04am |
Also if you want some advice you can book into the plunket family centre if there is one in your area.. you go in for a day and they watch a couple of sleep/feed cycles and will give you some ideas to help... I found them great 
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T_Rex
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:32am |
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When DD was about 4 weeks old, I got myself really really overtired one night. I was exhausted and I was trying so hard, but I could not for the life of me get to sleep. It was a really bizarre feeling, and my poor DH was at his wits end trying to get me to sleep. It did give me so much appreciation for what it must be like for DD when she gets the same way though.
I found trying to listen to DH really difficult, and the slightest noise/movement would have me wide awake again. So now when DD is overtired, I make sure I don't speak to her at all, I 'shh' her, and sometimes sing to her (mostly to keep me calm when she's crying) and once I do get her to sleep, I just sit and hold her until I think she's past the overtired-easily-woken stage. Sometimes I hold her for the whole sleep. I figure sitting with her for a couple of hours is worth it to have her happy again when she wakes up, and it lets me rest too.
I also really recommend a wrap. I got one off TM for $25 and I wish I'd had it from day 1. I just put her in it, and carry on with my day. The jiggling as I do washing etc puts her to sleep and keeps her that way. Plus she feels nice and safe being so cuddled up. Now when she's tired and grizzly, the grizzles often stop as soon as she sees me start tying the wrap round me and she nods off right away when I put her in it.
Also, just as a light at the end of the tunnel - DD is asleep in her cot and has been for 40 minutes, which is huge for her! It felt like I was going to spend the next year or two as her personal sleep attendant, but it really does get better!
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Unhappy baby, unhappy mum :-(
