Guy question?

Onother guy on the board, we had a few come on over the past few months. Welcome.

As for my partner, our first pregnancy he was there with me for the test and for everything the whole way through. I think at times he was more excited than me. Our second, I did the test by myself at home and rung him at work to tell him. He was a little shocked but is getting into it again. This time around he has only been to the 20 week scan.

As for testing, try and get her to wait till she is late, anything before would possibly be a neg and then get her upset.

My DH wasn't at all interested in testing- he didn't get why I couldn't wait until I was a week late until I tested so that I didn't waste money on tests early. Even when we finally got our BFP he didn't really beleive me, it wasn't until I got another stronger one the next day that he let himself actually beleive it.

Never heard about the stregnth thing??? I am a weakling and don't think I am any stronger now. Although I could probably throw something further in a fit of rage now- but thats just because I get angrier- not because I'm stronger

Hi LTM

When you are trying for a baby, especially at first, you are concentrating so hard on everything your body is doing, and get excited at the slightest thing. I think because all of a sudden you *want* a baby, you notice things (especially period symptoms which are so similar to pregnancy symptoms) that were probably there all along, but now have a new, huge signifiance. It doesn't help that when you stop taking the pill (or whatever), your hormones change, and things often *are* very different as your period approaches.

My husband is very much like you - happy to just wait and see, and not falling prey to the pressures of trying to conceive. Now, of course, I'm a little jaded, and very much of the 'whatever' frame of mind myself

The big thing I'll say to you is that with the excitement and anticipation of waiting for her period, or rather the absense of a period each month, there are emtional ups and downs, and it can be quite devestating when it arrives after a month of hoping. One thing us wives forget/lose sight of very easily is how hard that can be on our husbands ...*our* emotional ups and downs that is. Not so much the period arriving.

It's quite funny (well, *now* it is ...as I said - I'm getting jaded!) ...every month when my period arrived and I told my husband, he used to look so lost and let down, and as the months passed, I felt worse and worse. In the end a month or two ago, I told him I was so sorry for letting him down in not being able to fall pregnant - to which he looked and me, completely baffled, and said that *he* was only worried about *me* and my reaction to my period arriving (typical husband - diving for cover!), not that we weren't pregnant!

I really hope the hysterical pregnancy thing isn't a myth ...I'd *love* to be able to belt the husband and not have him laugh at me ...

Our children were both "surprsies" so it was less "i think this means I'm pregnant" and more "oh god I hope this doesn't mean I'm pregnant". For my hubby, he constantly told me that i was "faking it" when i wasn't showing - in a joking manner. And then decided I was merely retaining water when I was showing. I think the whole thing just freaked him out a bit. Once he said - at a scan - "hey it's a bit like that movie "alien"" - very fatherly. But i was kinda the same so thats okay!

Hey man. DH here.

LTM wrote: Hi, I've just started trying to have a baby with my wife. She's been on this website quite a bit in fact. She's all excited about the baby and is unsure if every little sign since we started trying is her being pregnant.

Yup. They do that. :)

LTM wrote: I'm happy to wait and see, but she wants to test as soon as possible. I can understand where she is coming from, if I had a baby growing in me I'd want to know about it too. However I'm not pregnant and am highly unlikely to ever to be pregnant.

Personally I'd let her test. It'll get the load of her mind and help you from going nuts for the hundreth time "Do you think it might be?" The midwife or pharmacy can supply you with tests. But be aware that you'll have to deal with the 'after test'...um...stuff.

LMAO at your second paragraph. Thank God for that. <shudder>

LTM wrote: Were other people's partners excited about the are we/ aren't we pregnant bit and wanted to know A.S.A.P.? Or were they just happy to wait and see, the partners, husbands, whatevers that is.

My first, I was so/so. Then after we found out I got scared. I was like ... "S***! IM GONNA BE A DAD! How'm I gonna do this???" Then elated, "S***! IM GONNA BE A DAD!"

My second, we were excited. So we got tested pretty early.

Our third time, well we were nervous cuz we'd had a miscarriage in between. And DW had had some complications in the first and second births. So, to help calm our nerves (hers - and my sanity) we got tested. Negative. Twice. That was hugely dissapointing. But a third test showed we were preggy. After which she got clucky and I got "here we go again." But it was cool too.

LTM wrote: I'm not sure what I'm on about really. I suppose it's a guy thing or maybe it's just me. Another question: do you get hysterical pregnant lady strength or is that just a myth? My wife's already stronger than me, but it would be good to know. (This would probably be funny if you were a guy, to an average lady in the street it is probably just insensitive, sorry)

PMSL...yes.

Edited by busymum

My hubby was happy to wait, in fact he didnt really even know when was time to test or anything, he just 'performed' when he needed to and left the rest up to me. He was excited and everything but it wasnt constantly on his mind like it was with me.

lol, the ladle.

Mike, first time had no idea tili tested and textd him saying "you better learn to change nappies" at which point i got a hasty phone-call back.

Second time, i said to him that i felt like yuck, and a bit like "last time" and then i found out i had a bad throat infection so just put it down to that, but still tested on the first day i was late, and again, I actually went into his work this time, and he looked at me, and i nodded, and he went white as a ghost and looked like he was going to faint.

As for super preggy lady strength - i second what someone else said, i think the hormones just make you more likely to SNAP, and you can put a bit more force behind things that you would if you weren't hormonal.. and a bit more restrained. lol

haha THE LADLE!!!

oooh Im so addicted to rearranging furniture and when i decide to it has to be done now. hubby is always coming home and ive rearranged things. last week i moved our huge solid timber bookcase by myself, took me forever but it was so worth it.

Okay, most people say try to get her to test later however my perfectly reasonable wife has gone slightly bonkers.

This only confirms to me that she must be pregnant.

She wants to test now, now, now, now, now, now. Now I tell you.

Everytime I suggest we wait I get the look, you know the look. So we are going to test and I hope it's the result she wants.

Thanks for the advice. I can see that logic and reasoning might take a bit of a backseat while this baby stuff is going on.

Any idea how long my wife will be like this?