Feeding to sleep and Dreamfeed

Right, it's time to stop feeding my almost 5 month old to sleep. Because I know there is a wealth of knowledge here in OHbaby! land (yes, starting with flattery) I thought I would ask here before I look at other options.

My son (the case study) is 4 months and 3 weeks old (thanks for the reminder OHbaby!). I currently watch for tired signs although sometimes I get to them too late. When he looks like he needs a sleep, I take him to his bedroom, read him a story (Angel Baby if you're interested), shut the curtains, swaddle him, then turn on the white noise and feed him until he is pretty much asleep (which is about 5 - 10 minutes of sucking). Once I feel comfortable that he is asleep, I move forward on my nursing chair, wait, then stand up and put him in his cot ninja styles (think Indiana Jones putting swapping the bag of sand for the gold idol). If he wakes and starts grizzling, I will wait and see if it's just a quick grizzle. If not, I'll try putting the dummy in his mouth which will send him off to sleep again as soon as it's in his mouth (Note: He doesn't take it any other time as he keeps spitting it out). I've also tried comforting him while he's in his cot - he'll be fine until I leave the room.

Now, the time he starts squawking is usually when I am swaddling him. He doesn't hate being swaddled and seems to know that it is one of his sleep cues otherwise he just thinks it's feeding time (plus he scratches if not swaddled).

It's a very rare occasion when he doesn't grizzle whilst being swaddled; and also when I put him in his cot awake and goes to sleep.

This is our sleep routine for all sleeps.

Does anyone have any sure fire ways that they used to break the habit of feeding to sleep? I would love to hear them, especially if your baby is/was like mine. I won't be using the CC or CIO FYI.

I've had a look at the sleepstore website and other sites. I'll possibly be looking at buying/borrowing the No Cry Sleep Solution but just wanted to hear from others who have had this problem and how they solved it.

Also, he's never had a dreamfeed before and has not previously needed it as he was sleeping through. He's stopped sleeping through and I think it's because of this cold he's had. If, once he's shaken this cold, he is still waking in the night, would you recommend introducing a dreamfeed? He's not on solids yet.

Instead of feeding to sleep you could try holding him with the dummy in his mouth swaddled and take the dummy off him just as he is getting sleepy. DD is only three months old and I have never fed her to sleep as I didn't want to get caught in that trap. I would be crap at trying to change routines and all that sort of thing.

For our day sleeps I wrap her and put the dummy in and leave it as she generally only sleeps for 40mins as she's a cat napper. The wrapping for her is a way to settle her and the dummy sends her off to sleep with the sucking motion. At night with her last sleep I do a feed change her into a new nappy regardless of when she last got changed and if I need to change clothes we do it then also then we cuddle, or she cuddles with DP while we watch tv with the dummy, when she is drowsy its good night dad and kisses, good night mum love you have a good sleep in your bed while standing by her cot I have already taken the dummy off her by now she does wake up and become a little bit more alert but she knows its sleep time so she goes down on her tummy tuck her in and she settles herself right down. We have all the lights dimmed when we are doing bedtime routine.

ETA that my SIL's grandmother was a karitane nurse in her day and she was at mum and dads yesterday when I put DD down and she was surprised that she went down to sleep as quickly as she did! As long as she isn't stressed out the dummy wrapping and covered so she can't see out of the cot/bassinet and she goes to sleep easy.

Edited by oOElleOo

Can I ask why you feel the need to break the "habit" of feeding to sleep?

I know what you mean MrsH, that's why I stopped bf Jack to sleep when he was 8mths. I am trying not to bf Ben to sleep, but will do it if it's the best way at the time which generally means bedtime and night time at the moment

Good luck with the changes

sheesh i could have written your post word for word !! just the other day i was asking for strategies and ideas on this very thing.

I too feel like the only one who can settle our 11 week old boy to sleep.. and yup its usually by him falling asleep on the breast

we share a bedroom and DH works night shift so i have to find something that works for everyone.. i cant let him cry and shoosh him for too long while DH is sleeping in the mornings.. (yes he has ear plugs and a mask Haha)

I think im going to get tough after our week long holiday next week..

I would like DH to be able to settle him and put him to sleep so i can have time to myself.. or to cook dinner at a reasonable hour and eat it while its hot !!!

ill be keeping an eye out on this post for more ideas
thanks in advance

PS what is CIO - CC is contolled crying right .. which im really not soo much into to be honest

Well I found he eventually grew out of it. LOL Well needing to be fed to sleep ALL the time, he was probably around 6 months old.

For those who feel like they can't get anything done because they have a baby attached to them all the time.......one word, okay a couple. LOL Sling/front pack! If you've got either of those you can do ANYTHING, okay almost anything, that you could do before you had a baby. So things like make dinner, play with a toddler, go for a walk etc.

I know how hard it is to feel like YOU are doing everything, but it's been biologically engineered that way, and in the giant scheme of things its for such a short time. We've been conditioned to believe that behaviour that they exhibit when they are young, if not 'nipped in the bud' will carry on forever, which when you think about it rationally is just silly; I mean who is feeding their teenager to sleep? I had days/weeks/months when I felt that I was going to go out of my mind, but anytime I left DS2 with dad he just found other ways to settle and the baby works that out, that there is a difference in how mum settles over say how dad/grandma/DCP etc does it. I HATED night feeds when I was doing them, but when they were over I missed them something awful. I didn't mind having him in our bed either, but once he stopped being happy to be there night time parenting got so much harder. LOL

So if you are looking for tips though, I second Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. There is a massive growth spurt at around 4 months as well so it could be that; a 'dream feed' did nothing for either of mine, they still wanted feeding in the night for ages. LOL

Yay that's awesome! Keep it up little man!