Breastfeeding ??

For the moment I'd just try to avoid the topic. Like you said you've got ages to go and you never know, they may come around in the meantime.

I guess they know your views on things now so once baby is here if they start to get pushy then maybe your partner could calmly intervene and restate your position and leave it at that. They can't make you and it is you and your partner's decision.

It's probably worth exploring the reasons you don't want to as well though - you may find that you change your minds later as well.

Unfortunately this is a topic that always brings out high emotions one way or another. As Bobbie said, you're probably going to be best to avoid the topic or if it comes up just say that you're researching your options so you can make an informed decision.

I think it's also easier for people to accept a choice once the baby is here, when I had number one I have bad PND and we ended up bottle feeding, people understood the circumstances and were supportive.

I also agree with Bobbie, it would be very worthwhile exploring why you don't want to breastfeed, you may very well find yourself changing your mind, as you've said you have ages to go before you have to make a decision.

Edited by Paws

I agree with the others - whether to breastfeed or bottle feed is entirely your decision and I would hope family would support you in whatever you decide.

Unfortunately it's a topic that everyone has an opinion on whether well meaning or not. I guess you just need to remember that a healthy and happy mum and baby are the most important thing. Yes, there are lots of good reasons to breastfeed - but there are lots of reasons to bottlefeed too and all of them are valid.

I would just quietly stick to your guns with regards to anyone who wants to voice their opinion - and I guess just try to remember that throughout your pregnancy and beyond people will have their own ideas on what you should and shouldn't do. In the end, you are this baby's mum and that means deciding what is best for both of you.

(Sorry for such a long post!!)

It's a very personal choice, that you have to make for yourself and your baby.
Nobody else can make this decision for you.

Everyone will have an opinion, and some people feel VERY strongly. If I was you, I'd just smile and nod when other people share that opinion with you. I spent a lot of my pregnancy smiling and nodding! You don't have to agree with them, you just have to listen (or pretend to).

If it helps, my mum and uncles were ALL bottle fed from day 1. My Nana is horrified that I'm still breastfeeding! It just wasn't the "done thing" for the ladies in her social circle. And my mum was a nurse for years, so I had a lot of information both for boob and for bottle. Nobody tried to tell me what to do (because I'd have told them where to go LOL) with feeding, and they have all respected my decision. Which I came to on my own. I decided that I was going to breastfeed for the 1st 6 months if I could - because of the research I did into the benefits it has for baby and me. And I enjoy it so I havn't stopped yet. I'm back in my size 10 jeans, my baby is clever and super healthy, it works for us. BUT if it hadn't then I would have bottle fed. I had bottles and some sachets of formula in the cupboard "just in case" from day 1.

Bobbie wrote: One thing I thought of though is you will probably need to make it really clear to your MW what your intentions are and get her to communicate well with the hospital staff (assuming you birth in a hospital).

I agree. If your mw isn't aware that you intend to bottlefeed then she will try and get you to bf within the first hour of baby being born. Also it may affect where you decide to birth or have your postnatal stay. I stayed at Helensville Birthing Centre after Ben was born and they are very pro-bf so it wouldn't suit someone who was bottle feeding.

Good luck whatever you decide to do

The only thing I would worry about is that baby gets his immunity from your breastmilk .. maybe that is why your partner would like you to breastfeed (it is his baby too after all)

But im sure there are babies out there who were bottle fed from day one so its definately do able.

You might have a better reaction from your mil (and partner) if you can voice your decision more articulately than "I don't want too"

One thing I will say (and im not pro either way), but breastfeeding is much easier (especially in the middle of the night) its cheaper too, if you have decided to formula feed so you can get some help with the feeding duties maybe look at expressing.

If its so you can drink alcohol etc again .. you could do that while expressing also, you would just express before partying the night away

You'll definitely have to discuss it with your midwife as yes they'll try and latch that baby on straight after the birth and you'll also need help to manage your engorged breasts after the baby is born. It can be quite painful and lead to risk of mastitis (breast infection) if you just don't feed the baby because your boobs unfortunately don't know that!

People are going to have opinions on everything you do now that you are pregnant and becoming a mum, that is the way it is unfortunately. You are the only one who needs to breastfeed your baby and therefore it is your decision, but it would be great if you could get your partner to support you, because you probably don't need anymore grief at this point in time.

From now on you'll probably start feeling sick, tired and irritable until 12 weeks ish, so it's probably not the time to be stressing about it. Just take care of each other and get through this tough bit. The 2nd trimester is HEAPS easier! Save the rows for then.

BF is all the rage at the moment but it hasn't always been that way and when i was born in the 70's formula was the big thing and hardly anyone was bf. So i was formula fed from day 1 and well i'm here and turned out ok. Who knows whether things would have been different.

I decided to bottle feed from birth for numerous reasons. My MIL and SIL are staunch breastfeeders but in the end they just left the issue alone. I always made it clear that I had researched it and was happy with my decision, meaning i had made an "educated" choice not one based on the unknown.

My biggest advice is to get a MW who will support you in your decision. Mine was awesome and just checked that I had looked at all the info and was happy with my decision. The hospital staff were great and I never felt under any pressure to explain myself to them.

The biggest thing for me is to be confident and secure in your decision otherwise you spend your time perceiving that people are lookinga nd judging you.

My DS was bottlefeed from birth and has had 2 colds ever, never been on AB's and is by far the healthiest kids he associates with, inspite of being in full time daycare for the last 10 months.

I have never regretted my decision not to BF.

Am happy to help so feel free to PM me.

I am adopted so I was bottle fed right from the start and I'm normal and healthy and intelligent.............well I think so anyway LOL
At the end of the day it is your choice and you have to do what makes you less stressed cause if you're stressed Baby will be stressed and it might intefere with your bonding towards the baby...........................however breastfeeding might increase the bond with your baby..........two ways of looking at it really but my opinion is at the end of the day you have to be comfortable with what you do

I think the best thing you can do at the moment is agree to think about it, look into it. That way you aren't just saying "I don't want to" and that will be enough to keep them off your back for now. It wouldn't hurt to actually look into it and get the facts about both as like it or not I expect your decision will be questioned, by mw, antenatal classes, other mums, plunket, doctors etc etc and you need to not only be sure of whatever decision you make but also informed. (you don't want to come across as a stroppy teenager, which unfortunately given your age may happen).

There are lots of things to consider even if you do bottle feed, like will you give baby colostrum? if so how? you could try feeding, you could ask for a syringe or a bottle to give baby colostrum that way, you can hand express or borrow a hospital pump, you could decide not to do that at all, will you take the tablets? are there any side effects to those? is it better just to let nature do it's thing and live with a bit of engorgement for a while? Are you going to use whichever formula the hospital has or bring your own?

So just an example of how its not a black and white decision and you don't want to be thinking about these things whilst they are stitching up your nether end

Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on your pregnancy

edited for bad English

Edited by cuppatea